but im a bad example.

i drink, i smoke, i’m 111 and ive never owned a home and i currently dont own an automobile.

i dont proofread my shit, i watch a lot of tv, and on summer days in january i sit in my closet and write to you.

her name was geena she lives in a shoe. she has a beautiful young maid who comes by three times a week to make her meals and tidy up a bit because geena is in her early nineties.

my phone rings off the hook and sometimes i get upset but then i say well its better than having no one care about you and i grumble still, and i walk across the great hall to the dungeon and oh look theres the phone.

its geena, shes calling to ask me if i am single. she apologizes for such questions and she says you realize how old i am, obviously im not calling for myself, i just think youre a wonderful young man and even though shes married shes not technically married because he has a medical condition

if you can read between the lines.

and men are pigs. just understand that if you understand anything.

i thought how terrible that this nice woman, a maid for the elderly, works her tail off but then cant get any because of a curse thrown at her from a dark place

and what luck that she cleans my neighbors house.

me, king lover

possessor of maybe three candles, tops.

and i feel like i let the kids down because i didnt take her up on her roundabout offer because thats what bukowski would do.

thats what tommy lee would do.

thats what bill oreilly would do.

and today my annual visit to the hollywood celebrity orphanage was canceled as because it is 85 degrees and sunny this january afternoon, a generous donor bought the unfortunates tickets to disneyland, and so im off the hook until next year.

i mean, i dont get to see the little cutiepies for a while.

i dont know why more people dont adopt.

last night i watched american idol with rosalita who agreed with the crazy chick that mark mcgrath is hot.

i ripped off my pajama top and said fuckers got nothing on these 38 inch pythons.

which is true.

and my new printer is flashing red and green lights cuz its fucked up and broken even though its new, and there was a time when you could buy something, plug it in four months later and it would work.

but life isnt that simple all the time.

sometimes the angels want you to go outside and enjoy the nice things

and kickass on your second interview with the top secret nonprofit of love.

and my computer has viruses

cuz the bootleg firewall got eaten.

and i wanna say, just take what you want and leave.

and my question is, what ever happened to that idea where people wouldnt have hard drives at home, that all youd have at home was the controler box, and your harddrive would be on some secure box somewhere else, a maintained box, a clean machine and you would simply

trust

that everything was gonna be chill, cuz who really cares anyway.

and ive been eating pepperming patties like a fiend.

splink + lost in a lunchbox + mcbrown + starbody

palm reader says youre a libra on scorpio cusp
gemini rising
tony says youre a palm reader
your palm says see chart pick a card
one a hearts
dog barks someones at the door
kid opens, is ilka home
no
or do you want the bad news
gimme the good
youre capable of entirely anything
what about the bad
you said you only wanted the good
well now i want the bad
why
the little kids flipping past peoples court
news batman news news
turns off tv
slams nerfball
and right now youre in the middle of everything
but there are more paths than you think
show guts
and when you cant
pretend

they laid in bed.

it was dark

except for a few squares of

pearl blue

from the moon.

it had just snowed outside

but now it was too cold.

they were naked and warm beneath the sheets.

the heater had just clicked on again.

he thought she smelled nice

and he told her

quietly.

too .

what?

i said ilikedointhis

it was so quiet they could hear the neighbors wheels

as he drove behind the house

and the tires packed down the snow.

they were barely moving any more

and soon

they were asleep.

theres a dingdong at my doorbell

and an angel says its comin

browneyed handsome man from memphis

but a guitar he aint strumming

Love has seen his time get shortchanged

through the southside of chicago

so he came to california

and the cops beat up his brother.

and the tears they have stopped flowing

and the boy he has stopped growing

but his heart it cant help knowing

that the time it sure is coming.

MLK Day comes but once a year

and the angel says get ready

for the tables set and waiting

sure your legs they both are steady

i dont hump eight times a day, and when i do its slow and beautiful not manic and violent.

my neighbors dont complain any longer about noise or the mess cuz there isnt any.

the girls dont parade in and out, the randoms dont know where i live, the beer cans are no longer available for recycling outside my front porch.

i like warm oats in the mornings and long spa treatments in the eve.

im no longer reckless or trying to prove any points. i know where im perfect. i know they wont get it. i know what i need to know, and what i know is complete.

i know who are the liars the fakers the phonies and the sellouts.

and i know who are true at heart.

i have heard the most beautiful music there ever was.

ive seen the nakedest chicks

and ive tasted from the fountains of youth.

my cup hath runneth over in so many ways in so many areas that in order to deal with it, i often dumb myself down through tedium and alcohol. and then i watch television.

yes, im olde.

im so old i remember when there wasnt anything on tv.

i remember when there wasnt anything on the radio either.

we watched static on tv and we listened to morse code on the radio.

kids today have no imaginations. i blame hdtv.

in the old days, girls didnt just find your blog and send you nudes to your gmail, no you had to go out and club em and pull em back to your trailer by their hair.

one thing about those days though

there was something happening in music, especially in los angeles, that was amazing.

and strangely it was also happening, in a slightly different way in the twin cities of minneapolis – st.paul.

at the same time that prince was ruling the pop charts, other minnesota bands were laying down the foundations of what would a decade later be called grunge.

soul asylum, husker du, the jayhawks, and the mekons, would all have a home on the local twin/tone record label, but it was the Replacements that mattered the most.

verbungle today leads us to the now-defunct twin/tone webpage which provides us with a glimpse at the best band in america, as rolling stone magazine called them, way back when.

the replacements rocked that night at the famous First Ave., which most of you know from Prince’s film “Purple Rain.”

the mats that night were young, serious, as tight as theyd ever get, and decidedly sober. the year was 1981. ashley wasnt even born yet.

on bass you had tommy stinson who is currently axl rose’s bass player,

chris mars on drums

the dearly departed bob stinson on lead guitar

and the mighty paul westerberg on vox

and gibson sg.

im so old i remember rock music.

with simple lyrics for simple people.

“i hate music, its got too many notes”

im so old im being asked to adjurn to the hot tub.

ta.

the replacements live, 1981, quicktime required + metafilter + katie

the five people you get jiggy with in heaven

i’ll tell you how, shes got a better job than me.

and a bigger dick.

although today karisa came over and i was simply wearing a towel and the girl is still losing weight on account of not having a drop to drink since the begining of the year

and i was all, dude you have no ass

and she was like, i have an ass, trust me.

but she has no ass.

but she kept turning around making me look at it.

and lil tone wanted to take a lil peekey boo but its sunday so i had to get up and finish shaving off four week beard.

in nine and a half hours i will be job interviewing for the job of my life.

i should go to sleep but how do you sleep with that going on.

this has been a very odd weekend.

it was super warm.

threeway chatted with raymi and matthew good but then karisa was here with little warning.

i talked to a woman who taught at the famous university that im applying to gradschool and not only did she remember meeting me years ago but totally remembered a poem i wrote and remembered that i had posted it twice.

and she had put it on her blog.

i asked her which one it was and she said it was about a prom queen

and i was all, me?

she was like, yes you!

i asked her if it was ok that i had some swear words in some of my poems

she was all, oh yeah.

and i was relieved.

but i still doubt that i will get in so in ten hours i have this interview for the greatest job for me of all time.

today karisa and i did laundry.

in my last perfect job i hired people for an internet company. i hired hundreds and hundreds.

karisa was the last person i was responsible for hiring.

she made me scrambled eggs today and a waffle.

this is what im going to say in the interview tomorrow.

i will do anything you want.

i will have more ideas than you can possibly imagine.

i dont care if you hate every idea and call me stupid. i am stupid.

i wont need a parking space, i dont need any supplies, i dont even need a phone, i could work from home if you prefer.

please let me start in two weeks.

i’ll pay you.

in my last job i took a 50% pay cut to stay there and work next to people like karisa.

theres nothing like a great job that youre perfect for.

and when i wake up, i’ll be a little closer to one.

all my readers are hot + colon cancer kills 44yr old exmcdonalds ceo + zulieka

i can recommend some reliable web hosting. knucklehead.

the french doors are flung wide open. all the frigid bitter bullshit has been suddenly replaced with sunshiney warm toastyness.

got the back door open, the side door and the french doors. i feel like cleaning stuff. i feel like recycling. it seems like spring cleaning time but its the middle of january its the dead of winter.

96. ryanbot

97. grok

i get a lot of compliments throughout the week and little do people know how nice it is for me to get that because during most of my schooling, whenever i wrote something it would almost always get totally misunderstood by the teachers and redpenned and “corrected” and destroyed.

youd think that after all that i wouldnt continue to write, especially in public, but like they said, i didnt pay much attention in class.

until college.

this weekend i applied for grad school, which was more of an emotional experience than i expected.

there were a few major lessons that i learned in school. the biggest may have been how to handle red tape. which is a wonderful skill to gain. no matter what you do after college you will always have to deal with red tape. none more difficult than the financial aid office.

there you learn how to read the small print, and follow the instructions to a t.

sadly i forgot that little nugget and when the grad school asked for two transcripts from each other colleges i attended, i only sent over one.

we’ll see if that comes back to bite me in the ass.

now i must head off to laundry with karisa who left the loveliest message on my machine.

i’ll post it in a sec.

but yes, flagrant, nothing special network services has been the busblog’s hosting company since day one and theyve done a spectacular job.

flagrant + jenny mccarthy + chokey + jordan