is endless, no need to email me any further. with nothing but LOLs.

the only thing i like is that unleashed‘s lindsay took the pic

believe it!

better yet, join me in the chat and ask me the tough questions!

Friday, 11am, be there!

i dont know what it is

i only know they want me

gen y for get about wheres your led zeppelin

the question is wheres yr janes addiction

problem is you keep watching american idol

so that will be your Senior Gift to the world

this was ours

dont you wanna be free?

dont you wanna be able to accept an all expense paid junket to japan?

why would you wanna be chained to me?

i am so out of control. im so not the future of blogging. im so not the right man for your kids.

my little niece cute as can be, is sad that not many people are gonna be going to her First Communion.

my mom called me first on my landline then at my office line to tell me that shes sad.

i was all ma, that kid has everything – huge house, a nanny, the greatest grammy ever. its time for her to learn a valueable life lesson:

Disappointment will follow you like a Shadow.

my mom was all, she loves you, she wants her uncle to be around her.

i was all, ma, i was a terrible brother, im a heart-attack inducing son, and im the meanest uncle.

she sighed and said, all im saying is if she got a card from her uncle it would be very nice.

so i said, oh i will send her a card, all right. DEAR LITTLE GIRL….

suddenly my mom saw the error of her ways

LOOK AROUND YOU, COUNT THE SQUARE FOOTAGE OF YR HOME, WHEN I WAS YR AGE

thats fine tony, no need to write a card, she said

AND ANOTHER THING, COUNT THE CHANNELS ON YR TV, WE HAD 5 CHANNELS WHEN WE WERE IN 2nd GRADe!

im hanging up now

YOU HAVE A BLACK PRESIDENT FOR CHRISSAKE, YOU DONT EVER GET TO COMPLAIN OR BE SAD

then me and my mom talked about Wii

but if i ever find my sisters mailing address, that little kid’s gonna get the most awesomely freaky first communion card any niece ever got in her lyfe.

because shes not in the mode to see things as positively as i am,
she may take offense of the weird part or the squirrel part

but let it be know, i frickin love the weird part.

so many times i will be talking to some new girl or some new someone and im thinking god would she look a lot better in a shiny blouse with a whole buncha stars on em

or why doesnt she just hurry up and kiss me already or

how come she doesnt see that my coffee table needs to be danced on.

tonights weird squirrel is so perfect she doesnt need to dance on my coffee table

or wear anything crazy

becaause shes interesting enough.

she wont believe me if i told her because no one ever believes me unless im being mean

ironic because when im being mean im not being me and thats precisely when you shouldnt listen to the words but only hear the sounds

and the sounds only mean “im hurt” “im confused” “im in pain”.

listen when im happy to the words

which is why ive tried only to be happy here

becasue im the weirdest damn squirrel youve ever met.

which is why i’ll talk to people like juliette

and you

and anyone who i dont have to imagine crazy things about

cuz theyre already fascinating

evne when theyre just sitting there

all nite

and its only humpday

last night jeanine and i saw juliette lewis at the echo. first we went to palermo for a nice italiano dinnero but palermo is closed on tuesdays. who knew?

so we pretended we were hipsters and dined at Fred 62 where every time ive been there ive seen a celeb. but since i didnt see any this time there are only two options, one there were two of them and they were making out with each other in the bathroom

or two, there were two of em and they are named tony and jeanine.

had what i always have, the chicken fried steak with mashed potatoes and gravy and mixed vegitables.

heres what i dont like: if you give a man a salad but he asks you to substitute soup, charge the man an extra buck if you want, but under no circumstances say there are no substitutions.

life is nothing if not a series of substitutions.

‘specially during a recession.

there was a time when jeanine and i were oh so in love. we still love each other in a way that a stranger might think is adorable, we hold hands, we hug each other tightly, we kiss on the lips as we are walking through the streets, we dont buy each others bs.

but at some point we substituted each other for others and i’ll tell you what fred 62, it was necessarry and a lot better than being stuck with a bowl of stuff you dont want.

speaking of hotness, lets move on to juliette lewis.

how much does a woman need to do to prove that she knows how to rock?

juliette has been on a rock crusade for years now. most of this decade if i recall. yet even though tickets were a paltry $10 the cozy echo was not packed, and barely prepared for the tornado that is juliette.

she opened the show on drums, was probably the cause of the broken bass pedal, and when it was obvious that the drummer was not going to improvise, rallied the rest of her band to bust with a blues number so reminicent of janis joplin that it evoked acid flashbacks into most of the crowd and summoned a mystical bass drum pedal that arrived mid song just in time for the climatic and euphoric chorus.

i know shes no justin beeeeeber, but as far as locally grown rock goes, there are few better. does she need some better songs? who doesnt. but to watch someone get up there, shake it, scream it, and belt it out, is definately with my ten bucks.

she told us that she was gonna play again in a few weeks so stay tuned.

monday night sarah and ali wanted to drink eat and be merry.

the original plan was to go to this fancy sunset strip club where a promotor had gotten together all of these models and there would be bottle service for the high rollers and a red carpet for the red carpet types. and even though ali and i both rsvp’ed we didnt get a confirmation back, which is surprising because we both have email addresses that rarely get blown off,

but whatevs we decided to go to the irish bar dillons where the pints are $3 and the waitresses all wear plaid skirts and knee highs.

only because ali and sarah are such great sports did it happen, and once we were there they realized, omg this place is packed filled with youngish dudes. which they thought was the best thing ever. meanwhile i had plenty to look at as well. and i dont mean the amazing selection of sports programming on the plasma screens.

because ashley was right when she said im never satisfied, all i could do was think how much better Dillons would be if they had a dj. their music is the worst. and its on a loop. and its a short loop. so you could go an hour and hear the same songs. how is that even possible in 2010?

i for one nominate dj scott sterling to be the house dj of dillons and if they cant afford him, perhaps i should volunteer to rock some ipods merely for some dinner and drinks.

ali and sarah wanted to party further into the night but i needed to go home and wash my hair.

but next time for sure!!

and wants me to blog about it.

k

and how they paid for the lost iPhone 4.0 dealie?

a blogger named Simon Owens asked me to comment on it. which i would have done easily, but then he wanted me to try to figure out if he was a “blogger” or a “journalist” which is a debate im not interested in diving into.

in this case its somewhat valid because journalists typically have more rights to privacy regarding things that theyre writing (or planning to write, or simply theyve collected) than bloggers.

in trying to research something smart that Jeff Jarvis said around the idea that bloggers should try to remain bloggers, i ran across something snarky Gawker chief Nick Denton said that pretty much takes away any protection his bloggers would have if they ever claimed to be deemed journalists. that example and my response shocked Owens.

But perhaps the most surprising response came from Tony Pierce, the blog editor for the LA Times. Pierce first gained his blogging street cred from his incredibly personal Busblog before landing a gig as editor for LAist. His success there led to his coveted spot at the Times. In a brief G-Chat message to me, he pointed to an interview Gawker founder Nick Denton gave to the Washington Post in which he said that, “We may inadvertently do good. We may inadvertently commit journalism. That is not the institutional intention.”

go to his post to see what i wrote that surprised him so.

huge funeral for former lapd chief daryl gates.

because of that the amount of crazy cop cars from all over LA are on display

plus motorcycles and swat vehicles and boats and copters.

sure public servants should get love and respect when they pass away

but imagine the streets lined with school buses when veteran teachers die

or ambulances when long time nurses slip off into the dark abyss.

or parades of valley girls in plaid skirts when bloggers peace out.

to me, that would be progress.

local sex blogger av flox?

probably cuz ive never had anything to say.