but im listening to the wee small hours sinatra

you can too.

according to wikipedia tom waits calls it one of his favorite albums ever and based the cover art of heart of a saturday night on its cover.

im the opposite of melancholy, which might be the only way to listen to this record. cuz it could be a slippery slope if things arent going yr way.

friday i went to the lakers / clippers game with my old buddy chris. we sat in his kickass lower season ticket seats.

the cops had the nerve to give him a jaywalking ticket as he was crossing pico. i was all wtf. go 5 minutes in any direction of staples and there are actual crimes going down. you wanna ding longtime laker season ticket holders for walking across the street? way to help out the downtown renaissance. definitely pop the rich who we hope fill up that new skyscraper ritz carlton.

last night we were back at staples, this time to see king james take on the clip show. instead of the 40-point beat down the world champs unleashed on them, the clips actually had a 13 point lead late in the game and were only 1 point down with 6 seconds to play in the game, and they had possession.

after the timeout the ball was passed to ucla star baron davis who got a pick from his big man but on the switch was being guarded by their center. instead of using the mismatch as an opportunity to drive the lane and possibly lure a foul or dishing out to the hot hand of rascul butler, he pulled up to attempt to shoot over the 7 foot cav, and basically threw up a forced airball.

the cursed clippers lose again.

we took the subway each way and were introduced to a lot of the unsavory types ive grown used to but my bro from the wesssside was startled by a few to say the least.

we also didnt appreciate the blue line driver, who even though seeing dozens of metroriders frantically trying to buy tickets, pulled away from the station after being there just seconds to drop off passengers. since the pico station is the second to last stop on that line, would it have killed him to wait a full minute or two to pick up these riders?

this is why people are sketched out about public transportation and investing downtown.

for starters.

with the “world’s greatest newspaper”

it starts off dull, but stick around (or forward to 12:55) to see the weird tunnels underneath the trib tower

via Chicago Now

TELEPROMPTER READERS!!!1!1!

?AND WHERES THE AMERICAN FLAG LAPEL PIN FELLAS!?!?!?!?

*head asplodes*

total stranger who had just met me 90 minutes previous

basically said to me, “youre an underachiever”

now is that a compliment or a diss or both.

that 90 minutes were probably the only 90 minutes of my day where i wasnt tooting my own horn. instead we talked about him, my dinner companion, and So-crates.

it had been established that i was working for the major newspaper, the companion was without employ, and he was unwilling to disclose his profession.

and yet i was the one who was doing something wrong?

any time he would dodge the question on how he earned his keep, i shouted out CIA

so was he admitting that i saw through his undercover status and i should be using those spidey senses for a living?

or was he simply another from the long line of xbi stalking around in my shadows desperately attempting to convince me to return to the underground.

he wouldnt let me take his picture.

and yet im kneedeep in halfassery?

took my truest to kanpai, the best sushi place in LA. had a few drinks, ate our fish, stared into each others eyes and said sweet nothings.

at the sushi bar i saw a black man in a suit and overheard him not being all that happy with his food. i thought to myself, hes ordered the wrong things. so as he was settling up his check i told him that i was gonna order three pieces of my favorite dish there, this mysterious fish called Sawara. i dont know what it is in the sauce that kanpai puts on top of it, but its amazing, and blah blah.

hours later we’re still talking and truest and visiting guy were downing shots of sake. they plowed through 4-5 bottles and we all had the weirdest, deepest conversations.

because i knew i was driving all i drank after the first round was cokes.

which came in handy because on the drive home, truest was driz-zunk, and this semi truck hit his breaks on the 10 freeway two cars in front of us. making all of us slam on our breaks.

my brakes were not as good as everyone elses, and we slid a good 200 yards forward. and almost crashed into the car ahead of us.

ive never been in an accident but all i could see in slow motion was us rear ending the car in front of us, but the Lord protected us and nothing happened: no crash, no nothing. just me braking and honking simultaneously.

while saying to my truest: prepare for impact.

when we got him it was i who wanted to drink.

instead i said my prayers and thanked God i hadnt been drinking.

so buckle up kids. and use designated drivers, cuz you cannot predict the unpredictable.

i forgot that jersey shore is tonight!

i have a sushi date with the truest, then rejection of my advancements

THEN THE SITUATION, SNICKERS, AND J-WOW!!!!!

god bless america

and hey look mom, Echo linked to my post.

he was trying to interview the guy who wrote the brief that allowed the bush administration to waterboard and etc. but the guy was so smooth and subtley eloquent that stewart couldnt do that gotcha journalism that everyone frets about.

today he did something incredible. he admitted that he failed us as an interviewer. how rare is that.

truth of the matter is he underestimated his guest mr john yoo. the other truth is his yoo knew how stewart was going to attck and in return easily and gracefully took the question and returned serve in a way that neither denied nor objected to the question/statement and replied in a way that made you feel deceptively satisfied.

so not only was he the right guy to appear on the daily show, but he was definately the right guy to write a brief on why “enhanced” interrogations were kosher.

id read his book but now he frightens me with his slowball changeup hypnosis of persuasion.

the interview can be found on little green footballs.

and just like Marilyn Manson, Charles Manson, and The Church Lady

the elderly preacher knows the best way to make you listen is to talk about

Satan.

in todays lesson he educates us as to why Haiti is so bad off, while the Dominican Republic is doing oh so well.

is it something that little girls and little boys should aspire for?

what do you want to be when you grow up billy? “id like to be a fireman, a policeman, or liked by the audience of The Factor”

what they should want is to be screwed over by Jay Leno because im telling you right now if Conan O’Brien wanted to run for president, hed win right now. america loves him and feels bad for him and never loved his show more than this week.

they might even start watching it.

meanwhile i need to invest in popcorn cuz i cannot wait for the sarah palin show on fox.