why have you never posted this Tsar video? Conspiracy?

no conspiracy. i probably never posted it because it cuts off in the middle.

classic

something happens.

sometimes its terrible, but usually its something small. like i’ll be feeling great and decide to sit under a tree and read a book, a bird will poop on my head.

this morning i woke up, i didnt have anything planned, i owed no one a visit or even a phone call, i was a man with a blank slate on a sunday morning

precisely the emptiness i yearn for each morning.

saturday night i fell asleep to the sounds of rain falling

sunday morning i woke up with sunshine and beauty and i slipped on my sandals and walk outside to get the paper and i almost slipped and i walked a foot or two and i decided to look back

and yes, i had stepped in a huge pile of dog crap

i picked up the paper and walked back to the scene of the crime and took the hose to my shoe but of course all it did was splash more nonsense onto my brand new clean white athletic socks, and my clean pajama bottoms

and i dont know if any of my neighbors read the busblog

secretly i hope they dont, but if they do, heres what id like

id like for you to go outside after you let your dog out

and pick up the reason you let him outside.

especially since they, as you know, enjoy to present me with their gifts.

thank you.

i still had a good day but now its 5am its dark and i wanna get the paper and i have to walk all the way around to the front gate and then walk all the way around

like a punk.

sopranos were good but entourage made me laugh.

you know you want to

about this little spurt of online dating that ive been doing is ive been seeing a bunch of movies. last night i went to see grindhouse at the vista.

shes rich and doesnt work so we went to the 430 show. we figured out why it was that grindhouse wasnt doing so well in the box office. two tickets, ten dollars total. thats right for five bucks a head we got to see two really good movies.

yes the rodriguez movie is better than the quentin film, but not by much. if youve never been scared by a zombie movie before, that streak will end.

meanwhile qts film was jesse jackson and al sharptons wet dream. a diverse collection of ladies beating the shit outta whitey.

another thing ive noticed over the last few weeks is that the girls who smoke tend to have better breath than the girls who dont. perhaps in overcompensating for their habit they make up for what could be a bad thing.

me i dont care what her breath smells like especially if she knows how to kiss.

LAist is getting an upgrade behind the scenes. servers, switchers, somethng, who knows. which is good because i think i went out almost every day this week and i could use a day off from work and uh watching movies.

after trying not to see a movie on a date we ended up at this other chicks house. she had the sort of weed that made you just sink into the couch. she was all, wanna watch a dvd? i was all, nah, a dvd requires that we commit for a whole hour and a half.

that freaked out by commitment, she joked?

touche, i agreed and told her to pop something in.

dirty love was the choice, something i would never have agreed to or decided upon since i believe it was given Roger Ebert’s lowest rating ever. he said something like it — let me find the quote — ah yes

Here is a film so pitiful, it doesn’t rise to the level of badness. It is hopelessly incompetent. It stars and was scripted by Jenny McCarthy, the cheerfully sexy model who, judging by this film, is fearless, plucky and completely lacking in common sense or any instinct for self-preservation.

Yes, it takes nerve to star in a scene where you plop down in a supermarket aisle surrounded by a lake of your own menstrual blood. But to expect an audience to find that funny verges on dementia. McCarthy follows it with a scene where the cops strip-search her and she’s wearing a maxi pad that would be adequate for an elephant. She doesn’t need to do this. It’s painful to see a pretty girl, who seems nice enough, humiliating herself on the screen. I feel sorry for her… This movie is an affront to cheese… I would like to say more, but-no, I wouldn’t. I would not like to say more. I would like to say less. On the basis of “Dirty Love,” I am not certain that anyone involved has ever seen a movie, or knows what one is.

when i lived with whalen from tsar and greg mcilvaine, jeff had a theory that movies that are totally creamed by the critics were oftentimes really good. at the time last action hero was a good example.

i thought of him as i laughed and laughed at dirty love and wished my date was as interesting as her dvd choice.

if she was a good writer i would have asked her to be our dvd reviewer at LAist.

not only did i find heaven in sxsw, a place i vow to go back to each and every year from now on until it gets ruined. which is inevitable because everything dies baby thats a fact but everything that dies some day comes back put your makeup on fix your hair up pretty and meet me tonight in atlantic city.

last night i fixed my hair up pretty and met ms jenn sherry at music plus tv and she interviewed me for an hour and we played videos for the kids and ive gotta say it was pretty much the closest thing ive ever felt to being the most comfortable of all time, and the the closest thing to heaven outside of sxsw.

we sat on a couch, the cameras were locked on us, the dude switched cameras from another room, were were totally alone in a big studio – bigger than E!’s – and it was sooooo quiet that it was perfect. only later near the end of our hour when people from the next show were making noise and distracting me did i feel like it wasnt just me and jenn talking about music in a vacuum.

it was awesome being in that vacuum. fuck studio audiences.

but this studio. it was my dream studio. they had different little mini-sets at each corner. then other sets on each wall. so basically 9 sets under one roof. and they had a stage for a band in one of the corners. jenn told me they have several bands a week that get taped there.

what incredible world is this?

i have always thought how strange it was that there are all these bands who come through LA every day and they probbaly wouldnt mind playing a few songs in front of some tv cameras. it looks like MusicPlus TV is getting some of those bands, but they could get better names if only those bands knew about it.

i told her they should do like an American Bandstand show there.

maybe we could cohost it.

afterwards i took her to dinner and things went so well that we had drinks at the bigfoot lounge and met these kids who were funny. asking us really silly questions about how to hit on girls. jenn said one thing and i told them no shes wrong do the complete opposite. abc always be closing, etc.

they left, we kept drinking, and then they came back an hour or two later. the guy asking the lamest questions we notice all of a sudden has a girl next to him. but next to her is a second guy.

i was all jenn check it out.

so the chick is asian, skinny, has a slip dress on, really short dress. legs all sweet lookin. you know. and shes in the middle of these two guys. sometimes it looks like both dudes are talking to her at the same time, one in one ear one in the other.

then it looks like one dude has his arm on her, then the other guy does, then they both do!

finally the guy who we were giving advice to starts making out with her. the other guy sees it, looks away, drinks, but doesnt move, eventually AS THEY ARE KISSING the non-kissing guy tries to start talking to her.

no matter how much our guy and the chick make out right there at the bar the loser guy stays there and tries to find a way in. at one point our guy sees us watching and commenting and gives us the thumbs up as hes kissing her!

then one of his buddies goes over to the bar to try to distract the loser guy. they talk for a while but then the loser guy – who is way drunk at this point – turns around to the making out couple and tries again to talk with her.

finally we just invite him over to our table and i tell him to pose with jenn.

click.

music plus tv, 8pm pacific, 11pm eastrnnnn

and i doubt i would have heard her speak if she wasnt on the same panel as mr hugh macleod, but im glad i got to hear her speak because if i hadnt i wouldnt have understood why shes taking things so seriously.

if you dont know, kathy sierra is big time blogger, technorati top 50 blogger who lives in solitude in the mountains, and writes a very sweet blog about how to keep your readers and customers, etc.

i disagreed with pretty much everything that she said in the parts of the panel in which she spoke, but bottomline is shes in the technorati top 50 and im nowhere close.

one of the things she said to do is make it all about her readers and very little about her. me, i think thats the antithesis to blogging, but what shes saying, really, is dont make this all about navel gazing.

i had a conversation with someone at sxsw that i loved because we were talking about using “i” a lot and the person was complimenting me for taking it easy with it, but i told her that every time i use it im painfully aware of it because it goes against everything ive been taught, outside of Diary Writing class.

anyways Kathy (not pictured) got some really ugly comments and blog posts written about her and she felt threatened by the death threats that may have been encouraged by some meanspirited blogs. kathy got one of the authors of the blog to co-write a joint statement, but kathy still isnt sure what she wants to do in regards to blogging.

from out of the dust has come a few posts, one suggesting a bloggers code of conduct and another suggesting a seal of approval.

for a country that runs around talking about how free we are here, i sure hear a lot of americans trying to figure out new ways to put on blogging.

dumb fuckers.

now i know things are very different for a bearded, bald, black man living in hollywood feeling safe and an attractive white woman living on a ranch in colorado. if someone tells me to fuck off and die in my comments i have an easier time blowing it off than a woman might.

but still i think that if comments bother you, you should pull an instapundit and just get rid of em. theyre not for everyone.

i only get a fraction of the traffic that kathy gets and ive loved all the sweet things that people have said about me in the comments of this blog over the years. and im sure its possible that one day the negative ones will outweigh the positive ones and force me to tap out, but i dont think that day will come.

however i dont know what its like to get a gazillion hits, and its obvious that when new readers who just bop in to a blog get their way in the comments, they can often be crude, rude, and stupid, and have forgotten about the blog before the blogger can even begin to get pissed off at the dumbass comments. but if i was getting a gazillion hits, id expect a few dozen jagoffs a day and write em off.

or if things get super bad, just hire some kid to moderate the comments. there are ways to cherry pick only the good news. i use the giant brick walls around me technique. problem with that is its a great defense but its hard for the good stuff to get in and stay there. which is why the girls who come over with the i heart tony tshirts usually get treated xtra special.

my advice to the huge majority of us who will never be top 50 bloggers, write from your heart, do your own thing, dont be full of shit, accept comments, dont let the sweet nudes give you a big head, and dont let the mean anonymous bullshit ruin your day.

i have no advice for ginormous bloggers because i dont know what thats like. thankfully.

happy tenth anniversary, blogging.

and not just because its about college girls in various versions of catholic school outfits fighting crime, specifically a lesbian villain who has never lost a fight. but its a great movie, and it has a great soundtrack which includes the original version of “Another Girl, Another Planet” by the Only Ones.

notice below how when the Replacements covered it, Westerberg smoothed out the bridge a little so as to make it a little less rickety when you cross. and yes this is one of my favorite replacement songs ever.