dont say i dont tell you anything

i never thought that id have to hear them for the rest of my life. dont ever weep for kurdt.

ive had this to-do list that has been hard as fuck.

try it one day. make a list of things that you seriously need to get to but for some reason are a super pain in the ass. ive had this list for a week now and today i totally crossed off two of them and i feel like a million bucks.

each of the items took me a total of 45 minutes today.

i am such a loser.

but in my glow from accomplishment i made two more items for a different list.

– if youre awake, and if there isnt a special lady in the house, at 2am blog.
– if youre awake, and if there isnt a special lady in the house, at 230am write your book.

so here it is 230am and im watching VH1 classics. theyve given me u2 fishbone alphaville and now the smashing pumkins cherub rock. is this song really old enough to be a vh1 classic? if so, why is everything making me feel a gazillion years old.

this song reminds me of a little situation i had when this album oh wait its not this song. ok, never mind.

my arms have been killing me. arms and hands. i work far too long. no days off all summer. day and night work. always looking, always searching. always tweaking things. i know it might not look like it but its not easy, i’ll tell you that. and to write that Times thing in the middle of it was pretty weird especially since my hands were killing me that day.

i eat this arthritus medicine that karisa recommended. and i use icy hot. theres a 99cent store version of icy hot called Crysta Ice.

a special lady came over today after i accomplished my second check off and i started kissing her and i said lets see if we can make out for a half hour but i cant move my hands and arms.

it was fun for a while until she got bored and gave me a little dance show on my persian rug. if that rug wasnt fithy before it is now is all ive gotta say.

speaking of big brother, omg i cant believe how chilltown has totally played reverse psychology on this shit and are about to run the table.

one of the guys in this reality show, people who dont know, has been telling the other contestants to vote him out but they refuse to pay attention to him. its classic.

yes i have no idea how i get any girl to even take off their anything in my presence. but whatever. speaking of big brother, today i wrote one of my former Nexus cohorts who is a Sr. VP of programming at cbs to ask him who i should write to get a nice litte BB set visit and the email totally bounced back.

that was one of my white board to-do’s: write cbs.

um they are totally playing the same fishbone song that they totally just played totally 45 minutes ago. TAKE THE TAPES OUT AFTER THEYVE PLAYED STONERS!

i totally worked at a record store when this record came out. the girls knew of the band totally before the record came out and they put Fishbone is Red Hot on the Licorice Pizza marquis.

id like to have a son named marquis.

his middle name would be d’

i dont know any kid whose middle name is d’

something cool might happen friday afternoon

steven + shabooty + kali + xTx

but i do

and I saw that you just neatly broke down the whole season of BB All Stars I ask you this. Do you listen to Bubba The Love Sponge at all on H101? If not, why? – 4rilla

as you know im a huge Howard fan. im a subscriber, ive got the hookup to get the shows on my ipod, im so sick that at 3am (as in 15 minutes from now) i reach over to my nightstand and turn on the laptop and i listen to it live through the Sirius stream.

when howard said that he was signing up Bubba i had zero interest. why would i want to tune into a fat nascar redneck when i faithfully listen to 4.5 hours of a freakishly tall micro-penised halfjew?

but since howard is spending my money on vacation all summer banging that supermodel of his ive been forced to tune into the 101, and even though i cant say that ive listened for more than a half hour at one sitting, i must say that i do like bubba, i do think he’s talented, i appreciate that he keeps it real by owning his southern roots, and i like that everything is a jones or a mcgillicutty. its funny.

i also like bubba because it shows you how good howard is and what an excellent formula theyve got going there. howard’s parody songs make bubba’s seem like the secondrate knockoffs that they are. the way bubba treats the strippers and porn stars that come in is funny but howard takes it to the next level intellectually, if you can believe it.

i do appreciate bubba’s shocking of the puss and the shocking of the nuts and all that but for some reason the only time i want to hear someone in pain is when its someone who you care about, which is why when Richard got waxed it was so good because we all love Richard.

when i was in chicago i grew up on the original howard, steve dahl, which howard can pretend meant nothing to his early development, but those of us who are 113 yrs old remember how lame radio was back in those days. and if you listen to steve and gary meier in chicago when howard was just starting out you will see a great deal of similarities which may or may not have anything to do with the fact that dahl was in Detroit a year before Howard got there. arguing with his wife on the air, talking about his personal life, and yelling at his boss with the mic open was what got Dahl out of Detroit… which is exactly how Howard got from Detroit to DC where he became #1.

bubba unfortunately will never get out of Howard’s shadow as long as howard is still on the air. dahl and stern were able to blossom on their own since one was in the midwest and the other was on the east coast. for both bubba and howard to basically be on the same station will only help bubba a little, for a temporary period of time. and during that time his similarities to howard will stand out like that big fucking gut he has.

in order for him to break out he’s got to find something that howard cannot do. banging the fans is a good start, but he’s gotta think bigger than that.

scotty ferrall however is a freaking genius and the best part of Howard 101.

i met alecia this weekend. so hot.

almost two years ago

i laid it out and aint a damn thing changed 1. kiss my ass.

2. if you cant kiss my ass, ask a question.

3. if you cant do either of those, have the guts courtesy of filling in the email address or home page portion of the comment box. everyone agrees that anonymous negative commentors are pussy ass bitches whose opinons are not even worth the milisecond that it will take to delete them.

if you have the nerve to come into someone elses house and talk shit, have the backbone to identify yourself. i wouldnt accept a check without your signature, so fuck your pissy comment without a real email address.

and that goes for you democrats too.

4. but people say oh but i will get spam oh i will get spam.

a. only fools put their primary email address on the internet.
b. when they ask you your email address type it out like this busblog@g[mail].com
c. create an email account for spam, look i just made one on Yahoo

busblog@yahoo.com busblog@yahoo.com busblog@yahoo.com busblog@yahoo.com busblog@yahoo.com busblog@yahoo.com busblog@yahoo.com busblog@yahoo.com

im runnin with scissors im runnin with scissors

busblog@yahoo.com busblog@yahoo.com busblog@yahoo.com busblog@yahoo.com busblog@yahoo.com busblog@yahoo.com busblog@yahoo.com busblog@yahoo.com

d. notice that the world didnt end.

e. a sincere commentor should want the reader to know that theyre serious about their rebuttal. the simplist way one could discount a negative comment is to say, that person was certainly kidding as they didnt even leave their name.

f. only cowards hide and snipe from the shadows, the only thing more pathetic and hopeless is someone who does it on a fucking blog on the internet.

5. politely alert me of a correction that should be made. if a hyperlink is available, please use it.

6. if you have nothing useful to say, be funny. be the guy who pops in with a little joke and then pops out real quick.

but you better be funny.

7. if youre busy at work, inarticulate, or flying a helicopter above the dreary clouds of hollywoodland, keep it short and/or use these:

a. right on
b. fuck yeah
c. omg for sure!
d. you know, bush does suck!
e. please accept this generous tip
f. bullshit

id much rather accept some ignorant ass with a real email address simply calling out bullshit than boring me with these fat generic lies of “you’ve crossed the line now pierce im never coming back here again! humph!”

just call bullshit and go back to watching your stories grampa. your votes been counted.

8. a polite, lean, direct rebutal resonates much louder than a clumsy wandering stale belch. say exactly what you disagree with, offer an alternative, provide examples.

or, call bullshit while leaving your fucking earthshattering blog’s address.

9. do this everywhere you go

10. realize good or bad i still probably wont give a shit what you say. the good feelings of good comments rarely last and the annoyed feelings of bad comments are even more fleeting. so just kiss my ass and move on.

katfran + adriel + coop

and threatening to move away from Vancouver?
possibly forever?
and just gave a free show in his apartment?
and wants to hit the road and wander?
and is auctioning off two of his original paintings?
and is as of today “homeless”?
see what you miss when you dont read someone’s blog for 8 days?

Opinion

Why a Racial “Survivor” Is a Good Thing
Reality show gimmick will force conversation and maybe show that skin color doesn’t matter.

By Tony Pierce,
TONY PIERCE is the editor of LAist.com
August 26, 2006

WHO KNEW A stupid game show could launch a race war?

That’s what nervous pundits and politicians from coast to coast are saying about the decision by the reality hit “Survivor” to divide this fall season’s 20 contestants into four competing groups (or “tribes”) — whites, blacks, Latinos and Asians.

“This could get ugly,” warned a San Diego Union-Tribune columnist. New York City Council members said they’d launch a boycott. One Arkansas paper ran the headline: “Race wars are coming to a TV near you.”

First, unless four white cops get caught on videotape billy-clubbing a black man, and then all get let off the hook, television has little or no power to inspire racial violence. Second, Americans don’t rise up for anything nowadays, or else people would be rioting over unleaded being $3 a gallon and the president continuing a war most of us oppose. And third, dividing “Survivor” into ethnic tribes is more likely to keep people off the streets and in their homes watching TV, where they ought to be.

read the rest here

[Update: Survivor.com agrees with me. imagine that:] “I always disagree with the LA Times, but this is actually the voice of reason. Maybe this whole “race” thing might actually be a good idea and people will actually work together! What a concept…”

cute and smart I am. I need to hear it every day.
Tony Pierce

baby if i was cute i wouldnt need to blog.

ok lets pay attention to the nay sayers in the busblog and elsewhere because they sure want a little attention. its almost as if all the people who were super into the busblog got jealous that i was spending so much time at LAist.

thats sweet but bros, im not that fantastic or smart or else i would have figured out immediatly how to keep up a personal blog with two good posts a day and a professional one where i write six posts a day and am responsible for 9-10 more. without a day off.

for yr ass.

but its ok. i know not everyone is on the same page. so for the record here are my priorities: 1) my job, 2) everything else. pardon me if i would like to hang on to this sweet opportunity of getting to roam around LA, get invited to sweet shit, meet interesting people, blog about it, and get paid for it.

unlike what my wouldbe critics would say, any time i talk about anything good that happens in my life i always say it was due to luck or God or good friends or booze or the myth that is the busblog. i almost always say i dont deserve it and if i dont, know its implied. i say on here that nothing in here is true primarily to make those sad boys out there in the world not get so jealous when they see a dimwit like me is getting some and theyre not.

trust me when i say that anything thats come my way happened in spite of my actions. i am the superstar of self-defeat and self-terrorism.

last night was no different. here i had been knocking out a half dozen stories a day for eight weeks and i [undeservedly] got a [lucky] email from [a friend] at the LA Times saying write something and have it done by 6am and you probably wont get it put in the Times but you may. instantly i jumped away from my computer and did EVERYTHING other than bang away at the typer. i cleaned my house for the first time in months, i showered for the first time in days, i cooked, i organized, i watched tivo, ANYTHING other than write for my local paper. an idea that once upon a time was merely a silly daydream.

eventually at 1am after i tricked myself into spending two minutes to write one sentence and i saw that i was almost done. crap, back to cleaning.

i bring this up because it was an interesting excersize that the How To Blog rules totally helped me with. i totally believe that procrastination happens when you listen to the devil in your head say “you cant do this, youre no good, you suck, any time you wrote well you just got lucky, youre going to get torn to peices, this is gonna get you fired, this is gonna get your house burnt down, this is gonna get you killed” etc. the machinegun fire of negativity is nonstop, so theres no wonder so many people quit their blogs after a short period of time.

so last night i just said to those demons, yes its all true, i suck, i dont belong here, im a creep, but im going to write one sentence real quick and then you can go on with the nay saying as i dust waaaaaaay over here far away from my laptop that was given to me by a fan. and then i wrote that sentence. then a few minutes later i was all, yeah i know i cant write worth shit and my hits are dropping off so im going to rearange my walk in closet filled with random belongings of hot babes who have ended up in my walk in closet… but only after i knock out one simple paragraph of three sentences.

and for kicks i will write down all the things that would drive all the demons in my head crazy. sentences that suck. just for fun. just to see how they look there.

it cracks me up when kids with 29 hits a day try to take potshots at me in their dusty blogs as if they have anything original to discover to berate me with when the demons have been sitting in the front row since day one. ok, day two. day one was a perfect day.

but back to your question, anonymous negative commentor who chose to hide behind my good name. do i need to be told that im smart and funny and cute every day? no. i dont need that. it wouldnt work anyhow because the demons have a pretty good way of discounting anything good that people say. what i do need to hear is that young ladies would get naked with me. somehow the demons havent figured out a defense for that one yet, which is why i cherish the nudes that you ladies have been sending in for years.

if the fellas want to be jealous of me, it shouldnt be because of my alleged lifestyle or great friends or fancy car or amazing job or world famous blog, you should be jealous of my in box.

today is elvis costellos birthday.

lindsay + jessica + erin

Im not just trying to kick the guy, something really seems wrong and Id love to speak to his doctor and hear the truth.
– bicyclemark

ive seen the videos that show W as a Governor with apparently no problems talking. and of course ive seen all the bushisms over the last six years. the explaination is simple – he’s not saying what he really feels any more. nor should he.

if you were the President’s handlers right now why would you let him go off script? when he thinks for himself he either makes up words like Internets or his sits there like he did on 9/11.

thinking is what the other people in the room who went to Yale are supposed to do. not the guy who partied there every night.

if i had to remember the republican talking points i would be stumbling and blinking and stuttering and fumbling too. thats a complicated playbook of bullshit that youve gotta learn. just imagine the dozens of different ways to defeat that death star? iraq, 9/11, oil, plame, katrina, domestic spying, signing statements, the small detail about that gay male hooker who was snuck into the press corps for a year, the other small detail about rewriting scientist’s studys proving global warming is happening and must be dealt with in ten years

this whole administration is one teetering jenga game waiting to be overwith. bush is no reagan. hes no trained actor. and hes not slick like willie. when things are fucked up its written all over that goofy face, its heard in his inflections when he accomplishes the obstacle course that every sentence is for him.

its almost as if he’s waiting for that inevitable moment where the entire press corps stands up in unison and collectively calls bullshit on everythng.

bush should just chill out and realize that thats never going to happen, and go back to imagining everyone actually buying his malarkey. theyve gone past wanting to believe that his lies were true into resigning themselves into knowing that their president is a horrible liar full of terrible secrets and if he just wanted to go to the hospital for a few months because of a tragic “throat infection” caused my some tainted shellfish i doubt anyone would miss him.

the mistake was in hiring tony snow who seems to be just as bad as pretending that what hes saying is true because right now what the GOP need most is someone who can shovel that shit like no one else.

The LA Weekly sez it’s terrible, and ripping our neighborhood apart. Is that true?
– Matt Welch

last i checked discrimination wasnt kosher. even against whitey.

but i also dont hear the minorites complaining too much, its usually the fair skinned granola eaters who have already moved in who are fretting about what happens if that pattern is repeated. such guilt. just look at that word, gentrification, thats the whitest word ive heard all day. scientific, polite, sterile, vague, emotionless – when in fact its definition, if accurate is clear and full of emotion.

as if whitey could fuck things up that bad.

the most normal thing in the world is for one group to move into a part of town and then move out as another one moves in. those mini mansions in korea town werent built by koreans you know. noah finz.

am i disappointed that venice turned into a santa monica jr.? of course. but people should be allowed to move whereever they want and build whatever they want while theyre there. the only thing they shouldnt be allowed to do is tear down cool places without a vote of the people. cbgbs got gentrified. that shouldnt happen. its retarded.

bob burns got gentrified. that shouldnta happened either.

what people should probably do is take it easy on the four kids business. a couple kids is fine. adopting, i hate to agree with brangelina, but that seems like the best idea of them all. its so crazy i love people so much but ive always hated the idea of overcrowding, of the earth doubling in population ever so many years. i dont need anyone who looks like me. maybe we have a responsibility to take care of some kids but i dont think they necessarily have to carry your genetic code. as if any of that shit mattered anyways.

chavez ravine was gentrified. downtown is becoming gentrified. and with that comes things that might be worth it.

the cruelty and tragedy that made way for dodger stadium was horrible, but if dodger stadium was any different you never would have had that shot of the tail lights in the parking lot of cars leaving as kirk gibson hit one of the greatest home runs of all time.

not everything that whitey does is all bad, matt.

jimh + phil + bicycle mark + science blog