what do you do if you saw a perfectly good guitar, alone?

is it a test?

is dumbass ashton kutcher gonna jump outta a taco truck?

is Dateline going to fall from the sky?

are the strings coated with COVID?

are the angels in the Heavens debating the morals between Christians and non-believers and one of them says, oh here comes a Christian, Gabriel, set a perfectly sweet guitar in his path and see what he does

but thats tony pierce, Gabriel says

other angel cuts him off, just do it Gabe. jeeeze!

Gabriel says but but

other angel glares at him and points at his watch DO IT

and i walked by it, investigated it. took exactly three photos of it and moved on.

angels laughed

other angel huffed

Gabriel sighed and says, tony only plays electric guitars

things i wrote for los angeleno last month


i had terrible writers block last month.

i just coudnt get it together.

i struggled harder than i have — ever. just too much was going on. like all the time. finally i snapped out of it.


i just let that gunk flow through me and waited. and finally it was gone. and i was able to get back to writing.

but if that makes you think i wasnt concerned AF, youd be wrong. fortunately i was able to eek these out:

Why My Girlfriend Doesn’t Want to Eat in a Parking Garage in Glendale

Why Not Just Party if the Cops — and Everyone Else — Are Doing it?

Picking a Psychiatrist’s Brain About Kanye, Racism, and the Rise of Karens

Twitter Sounds Off on Kamala Harris’ VP Nomination

Uber and Lyft Poised to Hit Cancel on California Like the Losers They Are

Who Is That Masked Man Offering Me Pizza?

The Buck Stops Here: NBA, WNBA, MLS and some MLB Games Postponed