i like it when people are obsessed with me.

i like it when people talk about me on their blog and other peoples blogs, and in my comments.

i like it when they become cocky and then eventually frustrated and pissed off when i wont address their silly requests.

talk about me all you want, blogosphere, it only adds to the hype.

anna kournikova taught me three things:

you will never be as bad as people try to make you out as being

you will never be as cool as people swear that you are

the worst thing that people can do is ignore you.

there are far more ghost blogs than kickass blogs and the ghost blogs are written by people who couldnt figure out how to get people to come to their url or get people worked up about their good name.

some fall for the fakeouts, some take the bait. dont take bait. especially when the bait is nothing more than fat dirty nightcrawlers sold for pennies by children.

if people talk shit about you and theyre way off base, just take their little spitballs and keep on keeping on.

when they try so hard to convince you that youre boring, theyre lying.

ignore the liars.

liars will take you places you dont wanna go.

heres where you wanna go

you wanna drive the lane

go for the hole

keep your bald head down charles barkley and go for the hole

dont listen to the male cheerleaders

keep your elbow out

fake right go left

switch hands

get scratched


completely unrelated, a funny thing happened last night. our girl brand trueboy who recently outted herself as hosting a blog that didnt have three writers, but only had one, her, pretending to be three people – ended her whatever-it-was against me.

i give her major props for ending the feud, and i will either take a picture of my nuts like she requested or i will have a civilized aol chat with her which you will see in the first issue of Lick sometime next month.

rock on, trueboy. happy holidays.

bing + blamb + muscle 68

hi anna kournikova

anna kournikovaim not talking to you.

how come?

oh i dont know, why dont you ask your girlfriend kristin dunst!

oh come on, dont be ridiculous. shes so not my style.

i hate you.

i heard you got hurt again yesterday in the second set.

rub it in, tony. good job.

i was going to say that i am sorry to hear that you are out again after missing so many tournaments trying to rehab.

i dont need your pity.

it’s not pity.

fine, your sympathy, whatever.

so i cant say that im sorry that youre injured.

no, you cant say it. you cant say anything! specifically because im not TALKING TO YOU!

you looked cute in your new outfit.

still not talking to you.

whats with the blue though, you’ve been doing blue for years now. remember yellow? remember green? red? why not use some more of the pallette?

im going to come to hollywood and knock down your door and strangle you. do you understand me?

anna theres nothing going on between me and kristin dunst, why do you want to start wars all the time.

ok, YOU, tony pierce are the one putting skanky ass hos on your page pretending to have conversations with them. shes not even pretty.

she is so pretty.

and she has saggy boobs

if she was your friend you wouldnt say that.

i wouldnt be friends with a skank like her.

how is she a skank? she plays sweet girls in all her roles.

get it on?

that’s bring it on, and she played a sweet cheerleader.

please stop talking to me

if you didnt want people to talk to you, why are you on Instant Messenger?

i totally super hate you.

who else are you chatting with?

x minus you

sk smith + faith fools + pshrink

Anna Was Married!

Sergei Fedorov anna married

TORONTO (Reuters) – Detroit Red Wings center Sergei Fedorov has admitted he and tennis player Anna Kournikova were married but are now divorced and no longer talk.

Fedorov, 33, rated as one of the top players in the NHL, confirmed his relationship with his 21-year-old fellow Russian in The Hockey News, which went on sale on Monday.

“They are true,” said Fedorov, when asked about rumors concerning their wedding. “We were married, albeit briefly, and we are now divorced.”

Fedorov has had a long-running relationship with Kournikova dating back to when she burst onto the tennis scene as a teenager. His mother told reporters back in 2001 that they had been married in a Moscow registry office.

One of the world’s most recognizable athletes and a target of paparazzi around the globe, Kournikova has been linked with several other high profile athletes and entertainers, including New York Rangers sniper Pavel Bure and singer Enrique Iglesias.

A torrid Russian love triangle involving Fedorov, Bure and Kournikova raged in the tabloids on both sides of the Atlantic with the two multi-millionaire ice hockey players both claiming to be engaged to the tennis diva.

Fedorov told The Hockey News that he questioned Kournikova about Bure and wanted to break up but was convinced by the tennis pinup to continue their relationship.

“I still don’t know what it was,” Fedorov said. “I read only in magazines what was going on and I basically tried to break up.

“But she had an explanation and I really believed that it was true and I, sort of … we patched things up.”


More recently, Kournikova has been linked romantically with Iglesias, appearing in his videos and accompanying the Spanish singer to various music award shows and premieres.

Fedorov, who becomes an unrestricted free agent next season and is seeking a contract in excess of $50 million, recently changed agents leaving Octagon, who also represent Kournikova.

It has been reported Fedorov left the company because he blamed them for introducing Kournikova, voted by People magazine as one of the world’s 50 Most Beautiful People, to Iglesias.

Fedorov said his split with Kournikova did not enter into his decision to leave his long time representatives but felt the company no longer had his “best interests at heart.”

“I wanted to make a fresh start with both my personal and professional life,” said Fedorov. “I needed to make a complete change from what had gone on with the last four years that I was being represented by Octagon.

“There were some things that happened when I was being represented by Octagon that I found out about after the fact.

“I just don’t think they had my best interests at heart.”

Fedorov has been linked with Kournikova since she was 16 and his relationship with the “tennis Lolita” was greeted with unease in North America.

During the 1997 Stanley Cup parade in Detroit, 17-year-old Kournikova rode with Fedorov, waving to the crowd.


Two years later at the 1999 Wimbledon, Kournikova flashed a diamond ring and it was rumored she had become engaged to the millionaire hockey player.

“I think the reason the media made such a big deal was because of the age difference,” said Fedorov. “We were friends for quite a while.

“We were just so much apart and those things when you fell in love or are falling in love, it happens at such a young age… it’s just impossible because I was a little bit older, I think.

“People didn’t realize we have parents. She has parents, I have parents. Everything was normal as far as I’m concerned.

“They (teammates) were quite supportive because they knew we came from the old word and pretty much, to us, it was normal. But no one really knows our story.

“We didn’t really speak about it. I don’t think my teammates had any problems. They had problems later, though … They wanted to support me, I guess.”

While Fedorov’s value as an athlete is on the rise, Kournikova’s continues to wane, her tennis fortunes in decline since reaching eighth place in the world in 2000.

She is now a lowly 67th in the WTA rankings and is still looking for her first singles title.

Things reached a new low in the second round of the Australian Open in January when she was thrashed, 6-0, 6-1, by Belgian Justine Henin-Hardenne — her heaviest defeat in a grand slam tournament.

riley dog

anna lost yesterday 6-2, 7-5

anna kournikovaand she called sobbing and i said hush hush, and she said tell me a story, anything. tell me about a foreign land. somewhere other than Australia.

so i told her about the City by the Bay. i told her of San Francisco. i talked about this place and that one, and about the baths in the mission where all the ladies go and lots of lesbians. she said please anything but lesbians.

i apologized. they’ve been beating her ass.

so i told her about the coffee shop that got hit by the Muni bus and only one fellow lost his life. i told her how it rains there and cleans everything up.

and then i told her about my favorite day in the whole year Throw Out Your Shit Day where you could throw whatever you wanted out on your curb.

This excited the young Russian.

“You say you can throw out anything? Cardboard?”

Yes, cardboard.

“Wood? Plywood? Two-by-fours with nails on the ends?”

Especially wood with nails in them. But yes all sorts of woods.

Clothes? Rags? Rusty pots and pans?”

Anything, Anna, anything.

I told her how the streets were lined with people’s shit, how people would browse other people’s shit and how the bums pushed their carts and made messes of the neatly stacked piles. And Anna cooed.

She asked me if I ever picked through other people’s shit.

Of course, my dear.

She said, thank you for telling me of this day.

I said, any time, now go hit balls. And she blew her nose and thanked me again and hung up the phone.

Shocker! write about Anna and Mariah writes in immediately


Apparently I was supposed to say something about the fact that Mariah is guest starring on “Ally McBeal” tonight and that I have no excuse not to watch it since there wont be any “Monday Night Football” or no made-for-tv movie about “Monday Night Football.”

And while I’m at it, I’m supposed to say that “Glitter” is going to be VHS and DVD next friday, January 15, and also that we’ll get to look at her house on MTV’s “Cribs” this Wednesday.

And if that weren’t enough, she’s on the cover of the british edition of FHM for February.

So why does she need me to hype her? Couldn’t tell ya.

anna isn’t talking to me

anna kournikova 2002she says i pay too much attention to ashley. she might have a point. she says that i make fun of her too much for not winning any tournaments. you wouldnt think she’d be so sensitive, i mean everyone loves her and shes young and beautiful and talented and funny and being a loser her whole life hasnt seemed to affected her popularity so who cares what i think?

she does.

so what i have decided to do is i will pay special attention to anna on her quest to win a singles tournament.

monday is technically over in Australia, where anna is right now. she creamed Angeles Montolio of Spain 6-4, 6-2 at the Sydney International tennis tournament but the bad news is she has to face a young woman named Serena tomorrow and Serena is probably the best female tennis player in the world.

for the record, i dont care that Anna is a loser. all i care is that she hustles and works hard and remains a good person and remains true to herself. im glad that she doesnt care what people say about her regarding what she wears or who she dates or how she acts. she tells me that she has a linguistics coach who is helping her lose her Russian accent but i say keep the accent. accents are cool.

this straw-hatted man was singing “Oh What A Beautiful Morning” on the train and he had a thick Jamaician accent and it sounded real nice. Usually i dont like when people sing or talk to me on the bus or in the subway, so i kept my nose in my book, but he was making up his own lines and the passengers seemed to be entertained by him. he stomped around the aisle singing about how he’s single and how if he ever got married he’d end up in a ditch. he told all the girls not to look at him with those beautiful eyes. he said he loved the ladies.

it wouldnta been the same if he hadnt had his accent and i’d tell anna this if she was talking to me but shes not and thats cool. i know as soon as she wins it all or beats one of the sisters from Compton she will call me collect or something and rub it in my face.

i hope thats sooner than later. cuz i think we all want to see her win, cuz some of us like her for more than her good looks and sweet accent.

home / ashley’s birthday is friday / email / year in sex