no i didnt have a cavity.

i had four wisdom teeth that seem to all need to come out. had, have. i still have them. im no dentist, or doctor, or anything, really, but how do you blame three other innocent teeth for the Alleged deeds of a fourth?

i keep forgetting, every time i visit a new dentist, they see that i have survived 108 years of roaming this planet with all of my perfectly good wisdom teeth and they instantly have the immediate desire to yank them out. once, i swear to you, i was visiting my mother back home and i went to my old dentist and he didnt even look at my teeth, he just looked at ME and said, “you still have your wisdom teeth? they need to be taken out.”


i dont have many aunts, but one of them was married to a dentist. when i got back home my mom showed her my xrays. my aunt said, are your teeth hurting you? i said, no. she said, “then leave them alone.”

so a few days ago i felt some pain, i took two asprin. the next day i took two asprin. today i took nothing. i lie, i am smoking an american spirit.

this morning i went to the dentist, they took the xrays, blamed All Four wisdom teeth and were bent on rushing me over to an oral surgeon because two of my teeth are below the gums – and guess what theyre doing there? MINDING THEIR OWN DAMN BUSINESS. but because they’re underground, the dentist cant pull those so he figured since they have to put me under!!! to pull teeth that are under the gum, may as well have them yank the other two while im down.

my insurance pays 80%, but for some brilliant reason, it doesn’t cover the anesthesia!!! anesthesia costs $300, naturally. and on top of it i have to get someone to drive me back out of the SURGERY because legally they cant let me go home alone because the three hundred dollar drugs fuck you up so much that it’s a crime to let them stumble home.

so basically theyre saying that they’ll get me wasted for $300 if they get to yank out my four teeth.

my dentist had to let me know that the surgeon is hot.

still, no, fuck you.

if they’d let me brown bag my drugs, then maybe, but something tells me that at $300 a squirt, someone is making a profit somewhere on the food chain, and fuck you for not being able to lobby Blue Cross into figuring out a way to pay for most of it. No way am I paying for all that shit. and just like any drug dealer that ive ever seen on tv, they want all the money up front and then you can get loaded.

how many hits of Ecstacy could I get for $300? uhm, tons, like maybe 50.

the dude said, “wait a minute, you’re tony pierce. i read your blog. you’ve raised $300 for your car. use that.”

i said, “that money was given so that i could get a Snoop DeVille Cadillac. that fund is holy.”

best part about the whole wasted morning was that i got to spend about two hours reading Tund. im a very slow reader and this is the type of book that rewards slow readers because every sentence has it’s own particular aroma – it’s own personality – a certain nuance. and he uses a lot of big words and fancy phrases, and you dont want to just zip right past those like they were ordinary. theyre special.

tomorrow is my boss’s last day. he’s worked at our company for almost 6 years. im sorry to see him go because he was easilly the most laid-back boss that i’ve ever had and i appreciate that so much. plus he hired me and i appreciate that too.

like most of the higher-ups in the agency, he couldnt tell us where he was moving on to, but he was sooooooooo hush-hush about it, it has made everyone really curious.

he says it’s his dream job, so i immediately thought anime porn, but like most things, im probably wrong.

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