dear brittany,

i had one of the best weekends in a long time. it was so much fun making out with you. i didnt think that a big time hollywood movie star would find me in the least bit interesting, but thank god for pills huh?

after i dropped you off friday night i went home and started going through my email. i had something from the girls over at mad pony who said some of the sweetest things to me. i love fan mail, dont you?

dear women of the world, if you want to make me happy please keep sending those cards and letters. its makes me so happy.

on saturday my exgirl chris took me to see your movie with eminem. i must say i was blown away. what a great movie. so not cheesy. great movie. even dissed my boys the beasties, which was so funny. i loved it. and brittany you looked so hot. you popped right off the screen. my neighbor said that you looked too good for that crew but sometimes its like that.

thank you for the new jay-z cd. i love it. it reminds me of pauls boutique. so many different musical styles. i remember back then the dust brothers were the shit and now the neptunes are, and they obviously opened their notebooks and let the jiggaman take whatever he wanted and hell, he took a double album full. what a hip hop weekend i had. maybe thats why im so happy.

maybe its you.

it was so much fun hanging out with chris though. shes so gorgeous and we have so much fun together. we had spinach and shrimp and scallops and lettuce wraps at pf changs and the spinach was so garlicy we barely ate any and they were nice enough to remove it from the bill which shocked me because theyre not really known for their service, but that was super slick, so thank you pf. we’ll be back.

and then maybe ten minutes after chris dropped me off at home ashley surprised me and showed up with some pizza slices and decided to spend the night which was good because i dont like staying mad for too long and she was very apologetic and very beautiful and bought these new little socks that looked real good and sometimes a girl will say, lets do anything you like, and you dont know what to do and other times a girl will say that and you’ll know exactly what to do.

and as much as i try to push ashley away, on many many levels we are eye to eye, i feel extremely comfortable with her, she fully loves me no matter what bs is happening, she totally wants me, and i really know my boundaries with her. we watched the last half of “gimme shelter” which she’d never seen and then you on saturday night live, and you were terrific by the way, and then we went to bed.

tossed and turned and eventually fell asleep.

in the morning i woke up and i tried to crawl out of bed as football was calling my name and she had the death grip on me and even asleep she wanted me. i said it’s twenty minutes after ten, i must leave. and she said, no, cuddle.

long naturally curly blonde hair, cute little necklace, she looks like a hippie girl straight out of the sixties when shes naked. little wood nymph girl with a big smile. she said ten more minutes. i said i wouldnt miss a half hour of football if you were pam anderson.

fifty minutes later i was finally leaving the bedroom and i realized that there werent any games i wanted to see, so we drove over to poquito mas and had lunch, then the ninety nine cents store, then she had to go to work and i had to watch the raiders.

ah, the raiders. east bay assassins. and no finer victim than that man named brady.

under the cover of darkness the silver and black ripped apart the pats and it was delicious. but i wont gloat because this season isnt even half way done and the raiders are in the toughest division in the nfl. and theres bigger fish to fry.

all i have to say is thank you lord, it was a great weekend and i didnt deserve an ounce of it.

anyhow, brittany, sorry i gave you a hickey. i promise i wont be that rough again.




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