fucked up and confused, so i let them in.

y not

itd been raining so i lit a fire and retrieved blankets from the basement

and i plotted.

one of em looked like a blue eyed dita the other looked like a dirty britney

somehow they got a hold of way too much ecstacy and being pretty cute they were allowed to eat too much ecstacy

the key to a strong quickstarting impressive fire is to get a fake duraflame log or three from the 99cents store. chop a log up into thick meatloaf slice sizes. slide that under a wood log and poof, fire.

they flopped down on the couch and started spewing all this paranoid insane bullshit about how these girls were laughing at them and how these boys were talking shit about them and how terrible they looked when they looked in the mirror and i said

baby baby baby.

i didnt sit on the couch, i sat in my chair.

i already have a girlfriend.

who was out of town.

i said heres what we’re going to do we’re not going to think of anything negative for the rest of the night.

they said, but

i said no, we’re going to only focus on that fire, and maybe that tv if youre lucky.

and we looked at the fire and told happy stories that sometimes swerved into the ditch of negativity but you just pull yourself out of that ditch by saying something nice

like, you two are looking real good over there

with the halloween oranges and tangerine reds all flickering on your

young

moist

skin

shadows bouncing across the ceiling and the drapes

but im taken so we talked about crepes

which studies have shown you can do on that pill

talk about food, that is, deflect, if you will

but they wont

and last night they made out right in front of me

slightly hotter than what was on tv

and i swear theres magic in that couch.

the fat guy + zulieka + instapundit + wit nit