babies making babies, fires making fires, dogs chasing their tales and beta males, do you ever feel like youre completely insane? i got a ticket once when i was helping my mom get her bags out of the car.
we were at the airport.
the lady said this is a loading and unloading zone.
i said ho im unloading.
she said youre wait what did you call me?
maybe i am completely insane.

for some reason i am under the impression that if youre in a bus and the busdriver decides that instead of taking you to the destination on the sign above teh window, hes going to pull over and rob you of all that you have. and then call you crazy when you repeatedly say wtf.

and then cop an attitude when you remind him that you are the fucking xbi whose only job is to protect the innocent people of the world.

bitter
undercover
superheroes

i dont have to apologize like xtx did the other day about watching dateline nbc. and what i learned from that show and from cops and from even the apprentice is when people are caught being bad, half the time they will deny that it is actually bad to come over to a 13 year old’s house when their parents are gone

just to talk.

busdriver you cannot pull over the bus and rob us, especially when the neighborhood watch is on the bus. no you cannot have my shit. not even for a little while.

if youre hurting, ask. if youd like my shit either pay for it or ask nicely. dont just hold out your bag and snatch.

what world are we living in? i thought this was web 2.0? i thought this was the days of transparency, community, the age of information. how is stealing my newspaper neighborly just because its sitting outside?

you are putting the commie back in community. you are turning this into the dark side of socialism where the big man can steal but the average cant steal back. can i steal whats important from you? of course not. but somehow you can just change the rules and expectations and pull the bus over and take?

we had a dog that all of a sudden started biting people, whadda think we did with that dog? that we loved. that we shared so many good times with. that was part of our family. that was our family.

we killed that motherfucker and got a new one the next day.

in the game of busdriver which can be a very difficult game some times, there comes stretches where you can either use the difficulty to help you grow in possible ways in our neverending quest to become gentlemen

or you can take the easy way out and slide down the slippery slope of prick.

i am doing my absolute best to avoid that slope but you have pulled the bus over and you are pointing a gun at not just me but my actual community as well.

and you cannot have what is mine. and you cannot have what is theres. even though you are currently using it for your benefit anyways. if you want more ask. dont steal. be a gentleman and play this game the way everyone knows you can play it.

we have a very long way to go. so get back to driving.

hot. skinny. young. it just ends up like that some times, i swear.

she said how much of the busblog is real i said none. she said not even this i said nope. she said how about when you said and i was all baby say it in french its so pretty. she said some of it is true because you have photos.

i said baby all im saying is you should be careful what you choose to believe. especially if youre reading it on the internet and especially if it says right there on the frickin page in the top not to believe it.

she said what about LAist, how much on there is true? i said sadly all of it. which makes it way harder to write. i actually have to think and stuff before i get to it.

she said then why are there so many typos and errors. i said because its a drinking game, if you see something fucked up you drink. she said no. i said yes and also when people find errors and typos on commerical products they get all excited like theyre some sherlock holmes. they feel smart they feel proud they feel better than the pro.

its nice to make tens of millions of people happy a year.

she said has a million people come to LAist this year? i said yes. she said more i said a little more, she said 5 million i said no. she said well shouldnt you have had 5 million by now and i said you know there are 57 million blogs, and the big ones are really big and most of their links lead to the new york times or the washington post or tmz. trust me, my bosses are very happy with how many people have been to LAist in just the last two months.

she said what are you wearing. i said what are you wearing. she said im wearing a beret black pants and a striped shirt. i said wheres your scarf she said im ironing my scarf. i said wheres your little chat. she said playing with the cord of the iron.

and then i heard the ding of new mail and i had just recieved foreign porn.

of which i said merci beaucoup to which she said de nada.

ken layne is in the la times today writing about parking.

ok that part is true.