why are you up in my bidness? why are you all up in my grill? why do you wanna french kiss my soul?

dear television, why are you showing me shrek the third? why are you so beautiful? why do you make everything else literally pale in comparison?

dear hot chick who is now putting back on her clothes, why did you take that personally? dont you know youre already pale in comparison b/c youre pale… because you dont want skin cancer or something? because youre eastern eurpean? because you arent 46 inches diagonal – which is a good thing?

dear clean apartment, why is my maid so excellent? but why does she think its a good idea to cook me a snack of beans, rice and shrimp, and think its ok to put a plate and let it sit out on the counter until i come back home? dont you know im a bachelor, maid? dont you know that means i might not come home for days?

dear slamming door, why do chicks need to treat you so? why must they huff, puff, and slam? didnt they get what they wanted tonight? or was that just a dramatic exeunt into the night? or did she seriously think that i was gonna chase after her just because her body is so fine, so perfect, so driving down sunset in a few minutes cuz im gonna sit right here and blog and watch my more perfect tv?

dear hollywood, why are you so plentiful? why are you still my bff? why do you keep delivering the goods and the drama queens and the mellow temps and the freaky folk, and the random everythings? why have you sucked me in as if i was meant to be here? why are you so wonderful in the midst of wonder? why are you so underrated besides being talked about on every medium every day? why is it that only bukowski captured you, but only in passing, only as a background, only to the trained eye?

dear blog, thank you for staying with me through all of the changes. dont you ever wanna be written by someone more fascinating? dont you want some wild chick to scribble her dreams wishes and rambling actions up in here? why me? dont you know how old i am? dont you know i hit the wall when i was starting shortstop on the little league all star team sometime last century?

dear end of this post, what took ya?