door slammer girl made a dramatic return last night

of course it was right in the middle of the laker game.

i was all, hi game 4. she was like, what did you call me? i was uh youre not game 4? she was like, ummm?

i said, cuz for like Everyone in los angeles and boston right now the only thing in the world is whats appearing on that tv right behind you.

she was like, i was wondering why traffic was so light coming over here.

then i said, so you knew you were coming over here and you didnt call first?

she was all, i wanted to surprise you! and she smiled.

cheerleaders, i’ll tell ya.

i was ok you surprised me. how about dont surprise me any more. how about i might actually work for the xbi still and i could be cleaning my gun or be expecting bad guys to be coming over, or i dont know a million of things.

she responded with that super annoying oooooooo kaaaaaaay, like i was the crazy one.

she sat down. folded her arms and her legs. i unpaused the tivo. it was awkward. i offered her a beer. she didnt want a beer. diet dr pepper? nope. water? nope.

then what do you want?

i wanna hang out with you tony!

i was all, baby, the lakers are hanging out with me. and the celtics. then i have to work on this new blog. then i have to get some sleep cuz im pretty sure im gonna meet a big wig from my company tomorrow.

she was like, wait, is this, are you, are you like MAD at me or something?

if you saw her legs you wouldnt be mad at shit.

i saw her legs.

and even though pouty demanding attention loving girls are sorta hot. for some reason the lakers were trying to make the game more interesting than it needed to be. but this chick had slammed my door. so i tolder that if she was gonna hang out with me she had to lose that behavior.

wait, behavior? she asked and twirled her hair.

yeah baby, im a sensitive poet and my door is even more sensitive. you cant slam it or it wont let you in next time.

and in less than an hour the lakers had blown the game and drama queen was slamming a door again, completely forgetting what we had just agreed on.

this time it was the back door.

how did she know that door doesnt mind being slammed?

wait, im not real sure that came out right.

Impolite Club billboards via

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