i mean seriously, if you have a nice couch, and a big tv, and delicious foods and beverages, no matter how hot your date is, stay at home.

i may start a blog called altatony which is what the opposite of my life would have been like if i had just trusted my instincts.

today altatony woke up, kicked the girl out of his house on account of it being not just holy but super bowl sunday. but first he cooked bacon and eggs.

then he took a little walk to the mexican bakery and he picked up some breads and orange juice.

then he shut the drapes and watched television all day and all night.

for lunch he made a sandwich. for dinner he ordered chinese.

he kept his phone off, he kept his doors locked.

occasionally he twittered. things like

“best catch since last years catch!”

in real world life tony barely saw much of the first half, only some of half time, and just a little of the incredible end.

now how on earth could this be, you might ask? well, maybe its because for some reason tony has an odd way of attracting young women in his life who cant handle their booze and get violently hammered by halftime.

last time this happened i had to delete a post from the world famous busblog.

this time, at least, i was smart enough to tivo the thing.

now that ive gotten to see it unmolested, i think jennifer hudson lip sank beautifully. i think only bruce can get away with playing darlington county – the single that ushered in the feminized springsteen era, and i think the team of al michaels and john madden should be allowed to do every football game that they like.

i dont remember seeing any of the one second miller lite ads. were they there?