yesterday this lady had the cutest eight month old twin boys in a side-by-side stroller built for two.

she was talking with her friend and they were talking about the swine flu, which is messed up because arent you not really supposed to be in the subway during the swine flu especially with babies?

and she goes “i wonder why the swine flu attacks the children of mexico so hard?”

and as if on cue one of the twins reaches down to his shoe, which is nice and dirty, and puts the shoe in his mouth.

bottom side up.

i felt like i was in an r crumb piece.

then last weekend i was on the way to the movies. i was waiting for the light to change and this dude was all, hey man do you have fifteen cents?

i tried to blow him off by just smiling and pretending i was jamming to the tunes coming through my headphones, but he was persistent.

and the damn light wouldnt change.

and he pulls out a double-quilted-toilet-paper-roll-sized roll of twenties and says “really, i need fifteen cents to get on the bus” and he showed me a handful of change.

i have this great Obey wallet that has two slots for coins. i have two quarters, easy access.

i handed one over and he was all “my hero. my hero!”

the light changed and i crossed vermont and i thought, did i just help a crime happen?