i love xtina

so much

i love her little black dress.

i love that she refuses to wear anything other than firestation red lipstick.

i love that she refuses to just sing a song as written.

i love that she insists on vocal gymnastics on almost every other line.

i love that shes back and dirrtay and belting it out again.

ive missed her.

every now and then i will get a little uptight about my looks

its bound to happen. especially here in Hollywood where everyones beautiful.

i’ll catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror and i’ll flinch.

someone will tag me on Facebook and i’ll say is that what i really look like?

or a pretty girl will tie me up to a rotating bed, turn on the smoke machine, start up the video camera, and when the dvd is shipped to my PO Box i will screen it and say god im fat.

im sure it doesnt help that im usually twice as old as the people im being photographed with, or that im bald (and in my minds eye i still have a huge afro), or that clothes just refuse to look good on me.

but then i will find myself watching television and i’ll happen to see a rock star with a legendary producer

gentlemen who are not that much older than me. at all.

and i will notice how aging hasnt overlooked them either

and i’ll ask to be uncuffed, and i’ll find my iphone and pause the telecast

and i will take a digital picture.

and it makes me feel better about myself.

once again my heroes have inspired me, and now i can soldier on.