his name was Jamaal. picked him up at the Fox Hills Mall in Culver City. many call it the Westfield Culver City now, but Black folks overwhelmingly call it by its original name.

we were heading to the Ralph’s in nearby Inglewood. he asked if he could vape weed. i said just roll down the window so i dont catch a buzz.

my nigga he said, relieved.

met this bitch on facebook he said while exhaling an enormous cloud out the back window of the benz. rain stopped so i cracked open the moonroof a tad because i feared he smoked stronger stuff than i do.

my cousin knew her and told her i could get her some weed. but i had been staying in Lancaster not LA so i didnt have any, or any money, but when i saw her FB picture i could see she was fine so i told her id chill with her and we could share my last pre-roll. it was a big ass spliff of the kush. not this hood shit.

she was cool. lived in a house! kids toys were everywhere. but we turned on a little movie, smoked, chilled, immediately bonded. maybe i moved to fast. fucked up.

next time i came over she told me she has five kids. i could only hear two. but if you saw her body you’d ask where did they come from? not from that! she was fit. funny. and very giving.

very.

we didnt have sex for the longest but she took care of me every time. without asking.
why didn’t you have sex?

it wasn’t even like that. i felt a connection. maybe she was someones side chick. i dont know. i liked her.

after a while the kids started getting annoyed with me. asking when do you go to work? where are your kids? they were jealous of the time their mother was spending with me and not them.

that first night no one knocked on the door, but because they were 5 to 11 years-old, after a while one would knock, she would tell them to go play, and then 10 minutes later another would knock. i had to put a lock on the door because some of Bebe’s kids just walked right in.

but i kept going back.

could she cook?

that’s what got me. she could cook anything. with a smile. with dat ass swaying to the music, being all nice to the kids, all who had different daddies. she’d give me plates to go to work with. i work nights. i always had food. my stomach my head and my soul were right.

five kids, does that mean she was strict about the condoms or not at all strict?

no trojans, ever.

the ride was going to pay me $20. one side of town to the other. which meant he was paying probably $50. so i said, so wait you also work nights and you take ubers every night to these jobs? where’s your car?

so she had bad credit. i had good credit. she had no car and all these kids. she said she would put down the down payment on a mini van / suv if i put it under my name.

bet.

but after she got the car she sort of changed. and i didnt like it. but i was stuck. i had clothes over there, now a car. she wasn’t doing all the things any more. and i was like, how am i taking some other man’s son to football practice and picking up some other man’s daughter from school in the morning when i should be sleep?

and im not the king of the castle?

so i told her i needed to take a little time out and you know what that ho did? she put sugar in the gas tank.

No!

so i stopped paying the payments and let it get repoed. but here’s the thing. repo sells it and you owe whats left on the loan. i bought it for 25, they sold it for 15, so i owe 10.

how did they sell it for 15? wasn’t it destroyed?

her nosy ass neighbor told me about the sugar before i started it. so it never got in the engine!

what?!?!

anyway new subject. but thats why i usually have this other uber driver who ive worked out a deal with, he takes me back and forth for half and i give him weed. but he couldnt do it tonight, but im glad i got you. his car stink.

so theres this white girl at my other job at Ralphs. she lets me rub up against her. fine as hell. booty. eyes. everything. but married. she giggles and says ive been so good until now.

where do you rub her?

up against her ass, legs….

no, where in the Ralphs? arent there cameras everywhere? Black man cant be doing that with a white girl in the back room.

back room? this be in the aisles. any where nobody at.

worse! what about the cameras?

im a manager. who you think erases those tapes every night?

he laughed and blew a cartoonishly looking cloud out of the window.