speaking of football, my boss’s dog and the dog of the young lady who sits next to me, both were perfect in their nfl picks

yes i write often on Unleashed, in fact its the only LAT blog where you’ll find my bio.

if youre ever bored and you want an animal story or two, just type in

latimes.com/woof

or latimes.com/meow

I‘ve never watched Titanic.
I’ve never read Pride and Prejudice.
I’ve never been drunk.
I’ve never played Laser Tag.
I’ve never skipped in a public place.
I’ve never laughed at an inappropriate moment.
I’ve never cried over a movie.
I’ve never cried reading a book.
I’ve never cried while watching a TV show.
I’ve never had a threesome.
I’ve never made a Twitter.
I’ve never read anything by Charles Dickens.
I’ve never been in love.
I’ve never skipped school.
I’ve never owned a rabbit.
I’ve never sung solo in front of a crowd of 100+ people.
I’ve never played Guitar Hero.
I’ve never had more than four siblings.
I’ve never jumped off a swing.
I’ve never been camping.
I’ve never read a Harry Potter novel.
I’ve never watched a Heath Ledger movie.
I’ve never watched High School Musical.
I’ve never made a sibling cry.
I’ve never stolen anything.
I’ve never broken the law.
I’ve never been in public without underwear.
I’ve never jumped in the sea fully clothed.
I’ve never read the Bible.
I’ve never driven a motorcycle.
I’ve never met a celebrity.
I’ve never written fanfiction.
I’ve never gone scuba diving.
I’ve never dyed my hair.
I’ve never had a tattoo.
I’ve never watched WWE on TV.
I’ve never taken part in a sports contest.
I’ve never been to a soccer match.
I’ve never danced to a Michael Jackson song.
I’ve never played a musical instrument.
I’ve never sky dived.
I’ve never eaten pet food.
I’ve never read Twilight.
I’ve never punched someone.
I’ve never swam with a dolphin.
I’ve never broken a bone.
I’ve never danced well.
I’ve never been arrested.
I’ve never owned a Playstation 3.
I’ve never watched a Batman movie.
I’ve never sang at a Karaoke Night.

before i croak gets shorter

riding in a hot air balloon in new mexico during their balloon fiesta keeps creeping, surprisingly, closer to the top of said list.

via Guy who knows how to party

meanwhile put your money on the teams in bold if you’re playing the spread

10/4 1:00 ET At Houston -8.5 Oakland (wrong)
10/4 1:00 ET Tennessee -3 At Jacksonville
10/4 1:00 ET At New England -2 Baltimore (wrong)
10/4 1:00 ET Cincinnati -6 At Cleveland (wrong)
10/4 1:00 ET NY Giants -8.5 At Kansas City
10/4 1:00 ET At Chicago -10 Detroit
10/4 1:00 ET At Washington -7.5 Tampa Bay (wrong)
10/4 1:00 ET At Indianapolis -10 Seattle
10/4 4:05 ET At New Orleans -7 NY Jets
10/4 4:05 ET At Miami PK Buffalo
10/4 4:15 ET At San Francisco -9.5 St. Louis
10/4 4:15 ET Dallas -3 At Denver
10/4 8:20 ET At Pittsburgh -6.5 San Diego

10/5 8:35 ET At Minnesota -4 Green Bay

or you can ask Zombie Tony, either of us will answer your pressing questions

but what if youre like me, and arent afraid to die?

as a Christian i believe, just like ive been taught, that when you die you go to Heaven. which is one reason i was in the xbi for as long as i was, cuz who cares if you die. take a bullet, end up at the longest buffet in paradise for dinner.

but i am afraid of a few things. the biggest being disappointing or embarrassing my mommy.

shes an angel, a southern belle, an upright citizen, and the guiding light in my life.

so when i heard David Letterman admit on tv last night that he not only schtooped someone that worked for him, but several women that worked for him, i thought to myself “of all the things my mom has to worry about with my odd life, thats one phone call she will never get.”

when i was young she instilled in me that there are some things that black men just cant shake off. she would tell me that all minorities will have to work harder and walk a straighter path, and we should get used to the fact that we wont be able to get away with any old thing.

when i was at LAist i had some pretty amazing women working with me, but it was a tad different because i didnt pay anyone. but STILL i was 100% conscious of the little voice in my head sounding almost exactly like my mom saying “you stay away from those girls, tony pierce”.

i didnt even think twice about it because i totally believed her. i totally believed that if something happened, and then it got out, not only would my weirdo blogging career be over, but my mom would be completely devastated.

“all the women in LA and you had to mess with someone who works for you?” shed say.

and thats exactly what i thought when i heard Dave. why women you work with? why not one of your fans? why not some woman in hawaii? why not three women in hawaii?

then i thought, am i not that horny that i would risk my career and reputation? is there something wrong with me? i mean ive been 100% single during this, the best part of my professional life. ive had more so called power over these last 3-4 years, more access, more… everything. why would i risk all of that to get it on with a subordinate?

is the risk of being caught Dave’s turn-on? and again, whats wrong with me that i get giddy just holding hands of a pretty girl? whats wrong with me that im completely satisfied just having a really good conversation with a really good person while eating pizza and drinking mediocre beer?

plus, how good could sex in a office on a couch with a staffer possibly be? is that worth risking millions of dollars through extortion (and possibly advertisers) over? dave had people like Drew Barrymore flashing him – why dooce where you work?

none of this made any sense to me. still doesnt. once again i feel like im from another planet. once again im shocked that im the one with morals and one of my idols doesnt.

and once again im glad that my mom raised me right.

in echo park tomorrow

read all about it here. tix are twenty bucks.

that she often goes into my archives to see what i did that day years ago

today i woke up late, got to work, tried to make twice the effort to get three times the amount of work done. ate salmon from the farmers market. said adios to a nice guy who is moving back east to pursue a dream.

i chatted with karisa about how i slept last night which was: i was so tired that i didnt have the energy to turn off my lamp or move my laptop off the bed, so i slept sideways instead of lenghtways so my legs were hanging off the bed. i then put the blankets over my eyes. then i woke up at 4am, peed, said my prayers, went back to sleep after turning off the light.

while at work we debated jon and kate, the new canon 7d camera ($1,500), whether or not lamar odom was really married, if you take your longterm gf to france on vacation does that mean youre gonna pop the question, and whether or not i should start wearing slacks to work instead of jeans.

today i also drank a sunkist orange soda cuz i was so sleepy, and now im drinking a coke classic. but still sleepy as hell.

and hey look at this, its breesays about to get her brains chewed out by zombies

some say there were 1,000 zombies on the streets

im no fancy film expert, but people hooted and hollered the whole time

and definitely clapped at the end. and smiled all the way home.

* Tim Sullivan turns 40 on Thu, Oct 1st.
* Sonja Melcher Nilsen has a birthday on Fri, Oct 2nd.
* Jevon Phillips turns 38 on Fri, Oct 2nd.
* Jeff Weiss turns 28 on Fri, Oct 2nd.
* Jackie Martling turns 59 on Sat, Oct 3rd.
* Martin Boer turns 39 on Sun, Oct 4th.
* Jake Dobkin turns 33 on Sun, Oct 4th.
* Kim Thigpen turns 40 on Mon, Oct 5th.
* Sloane Berrent has a birthday on Mon, Oct 5th.
* Steve Smith has a birthday on Tue, Oct 6th.
* Jamie Boud has a birthday on Thu, Oct 8th.
* Ryan Young turns 31 on Sat, Oct 10th.
* Gendy Alimurung has a birthday on Sat, Oct 10th.
* Artie Lange turns 42 on Sun, Oct 11th.
* Aaron Curtiss turns 41 on Sun, Oct 11th.
* Alistair Jeffs has a birthday on Sun, Oct 11th.
* Lisa Dell turns 26 on Mon, Oct 12th.
* Jon Petitt has a birthday on Wed, Oct 14th.
* Pam Pastor turns 29 on Wed, Oct 14th.
* Seana Fitt Wagner turns 40 on Wed, Oct 14th.
* Amy Esau has a birthday on Thu, Oct 15th.
* Eric Neel turns 42 on Thu, Oct 15th.
* Travis Smith has a birthday on Thu, Oct 15th.
* Molli Ann McIlvaine has a birthday on Thu, Oct 15th.
* Moye Ishimoto turns 28 on Thu, Oct 15th.
* Kevin Cheng has a birthday on Thu, Oct 15th.
* Elina Shatkin has a birthday on Thu, Oct 15th.
* Lisa Brenner has a birthday on Fri, Oct 16th.
* Nicolette Dressler Quispe has a birthday on Fri, Oct 16th.
* Alexandra Le Tellier has a birthday on Sat, Oct 17th.
* Michael Charpentier turns 22 on Sun, Oct 18th.
* Timothy Loranger has a birthday on Sun, Oct 18th.
* Marcello Sawyer has a birthday on Sun, Oct 18th.
* Samantha Barnes has a birthday on Mon, Oct 19th.
* Tim Hammill turns 29 on Tue, Oct 20th.
* Tony Lee has a birthday on Tue, Oct 20th.
* Dianne de Guzman turns 27 on Tue, Oct 20th.
* Dan Barrio turns 33 on Wed, Oct 21st.
* Laura Hesterman Kania turns 43 on Wed, Oct 21st.
* Carly Milne has a birthday on Wed, Oct 21st.
* Brady Westwater has a birthday on Wed, Oct 21st.
* Jenn Larsen turns 27 on Thu, Oct 22nd.
* Dumbass Pierce turns 103 on Thu, Oct 22nd.
* Kelly Green Morrison has a birthday on Fri, Oct 23rd.
* Steve Elzer has a birthday on Sat, Oct 24th.
* William Galindo turns 25 on Sat, Oct 24th.
* Lizzie Park has a birthday on Sat, Oct 24th.
* Ruth Waytz has a birthday on Sun, Oct 25th.
* Jaclyn Frattali has a birthday on Sun, Oct 25th.
* Kimberly Richards turns 26 on Sun, Oct 25th.
* Grace Ann Gould has a birthday on Sun, Oct 25th.
* Marjorie Kase has a birthday on Mon, Oct 26th.
* Charmaine Turner turns 25 on Mon, Oct 26th.
* Clare Isabel Abreu turns 26 on Tue, Oct 27th.
* Joe Saltzman turns 70 on Wed, Oct 28th.
* Matt Stormoen turns 33 on Wed, Oct 28th.
* Kelly O’Mara turns 39 on Thu, Oct 29th.
* Karen Lawrence Lujan has a birthday on Thu, Oct 29th.
* Mike Grimshaw has a birthday on Thu, Oct 29th.
* Shelley Han has a birthday on Thu, Oct 29th.
* Kemp Powers has a birthday on Fri, Oct 30th.
* Nancy Rommelmann has a birthday on Fri, Oct 30th.
* Nathalie Kawaguchi has a birthday on Fri, Oct 30th.