ups and downs

regarding this weekend. mostly ups

friday took the truest to “Cop Out” at a theatre in Glendale that could probably sit 300 people and it was only about 20 of us in there. which was great.

the movie was fine. something that id consider a semi-parody of buddy cop movies. not sure if it was intended that way but any time you have a soundtrack by Harold Faltermyer that sounds exactly like Beverly Hills Cop 5 then imma think its a parody.

still it was enjoyable and Bruce Willis, strangely seemed more movie-starish in this little Kevin Smith throwaway than he has in many of his last “serious” showings.

spent most of Saturday shopping for washer dryers which was totally exhausting. rarely do i think of Frys as a place to get quality sales service but the guy working the white goods was completely impressive and their price was by far the lowest. might have to pick up my stuff there.

Saturday night i went to Nokia Live to see a very interesting event. Sandy Koufax, the reclusive Dodger southpaw who retired at age 30 hasnt spoken to many people for 30-40 years. every spring he makes an appearance at Dodger Town and shakes hands with the team and then disappears into the ether.

even though they were never teammates (outside of All Star games) Koufax and Dodger manager Joe Torre have been long time friends. Torre’s pet charity is something called Safe At Home, which supports battered wives and families. Torre experienced domestic violence in his own family growing up and he said it affected him in such a major way that when he married his wife he decided to try to help other families who were victims of this type of violence.

Safe at Home was a huge success in NY when Torre managed there, and here entering into his second season in LA he asked his old buddy Sandy to come out and help him raise money for the charity. so Torre got hard-hitting sports columnist TJ Simers to moderate a 90 minute discussion and what an amazing night it was.

stars everywhere including former Dodger owner Peter O’Malley, Oscar-winning director Ron Howard, Penny & Garry Marshall, Jon Lovitz, Nick Lachey, Billy Crystal and even current Angels owner Artie Moreno. i also think i saw a former USC QB.

fascinating, inspiring, and very funny night. TJ may come across as abrasive sometimes in his columns but Saturday night he was the perfect host / interviewer. asking the hard questions that everyone wanted to know because, hell, who knows when Sandy will rock the mic again.

speaking of, not only did Sandy prove that he is larger than life when he brought up current Dodger lefty phenom 6’2″ Clayton Kershaw as they compared the size of their hands (Koufax’s dwarfed the 21 yr old Kershaw’s). but Sandy still looks like a movie star: bronze, glowing, and confident.

lucky night for all of us in attendance. and the place was packed.

congratulations Canada!

you won fair n square via what “Slapshot” would have called, “good old-fashioned hockey”

above is John Bollwitt, Mr604’s, video of cannucks singing their anthem as their players get gold.

below are some of the pro-USA tweets i delivered during the game

Gearing up for the US / Canada hockey Super Bowl by getting a $60 shredder at Staples for $20 and a $3 burrito. USA! USA!

nice to hear “Welcome to the Jungle” is the universal anthem that something is fixin to go down. #usa #hockey #canadassuperbowl

which one is Gretzky?

One things for sure, Canada wins the coveted Better Hockey Jersey Design award. Did our side even try? #canadassuperbowl #hockeynight

Al Michaels forgot it was daytime? 1pm? Keep drinking bro, and bababooey to y’all. #hockey #canadassuperbowl

EMBARGO THEM! EMBARGO THEM!!!

sweet stick handling! #thatswhatshesaid

that shot and reaction looked like an execution. sadly the execution failed. #canadassuperbowl #usa #hockey

GET BRETT FAVRE IN THERE IF THIS IS HOW ITS GONNA GO DOWN! #usa #hockey #canadassuperbowl

Playing the Donnas “Gold Medal” and up comes “Is That All You Got For Me?” ironically (?) #canadassuperbowl #hockey

The only thing more exciting than the Empty Net is Stealing Home #hockey #usa #canadassuperbowl

DO YOU BELIEVE IN TIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Apparently the Lord wanted a little more of this really really really good thing. It is His day today, after all. #canadassuperbowl #hockey

Nothing better than Free Baseball on a hockey rink. #instantuglyamericanism

No Canada!

loving / hating that black eyed peas tune

im glad we’re not smiling. second place is for secondplacers, not americans. #canadassuperbowl

our friend Monkey asks:

Hi Tony…I have never been to Chicago and I just got invited to go next weekend. You’re the only person I know from there and I trust your opinion – top three things I have to do? Any awesome restaurants, tourist traps, miscellaneous adventures to be had?

three very touristy endeavors, but whatever

– Gino’s East pizza (deep dish Chicago style) one piece may fill you up! wash it down with an Old Style beer something you can only get in the midwest

– Art Institute of Chicago – its the museum best known in Ferris Bueller

– The Weiner Circle. go at night.

maybe i didnt watch enough of the olympics

maybe i watched just enough

because even though it was touching to watch the candian skater girl get a bronze right after her mom died,

the person i was rooting for the most was johnny weir.

the lo and behold our pal kk+ bumped into him and did this quickie video interview

i like it when people who dont win medals are still loved and respected. if theres one thing i really dont like about the oly games its the whole gold silver bronze bs. here you have all these really young athletes trying their hardest to perform and in events like figure skating we run around pretending that its ok to say that one persons routine was better than the other and because of those extremely subjective assessments their lives are changed forever.

same goes for a racer who wins or loses by a fraction of a second.

not real crazy about any of that.

nor am i excited about one country performing or competing against another.

we’re all just little blobs of cells and blood and bones running around. barely alive. lucky to be alive. im not gonna hate on a skater cuz of the country hes so-called representing.

back in the day if Apollo was racing against Flash i wouldnta said “go italy!” ida said “go Apollo!”

anyways rock on johnny weir.

saw mariah at the gibson wednesday

it was rainy and cold and i almost didnt go but i did cuz i aint never seener before

and i love her.

i have every record. i get them when they come out.

still i have no idea why ive never seen her before. prob cuz no one else likes her.

no one i know at least.

tickets were $300 a pair on ebay. $100 face value for the very back.

got to the place and i thought no way will i need to spend more than $30 from a scalper cuz no ones gonna be there. in the rain. everyones gonna bail.

no one bailed.

everyone showed up. i paid the ticket box $108. sat in the back. stood for most of it cuz i was excited and she was awesome and the epitome of a diva.

at one point two dudes brought out a chaise lounge and her hair guy and her makeup guy did a touch up on her as she sipped champaign in some taffata dress.

everyone screamed. then she sang her ass off.

this was the video at the very end.

90 minutes. no encore. just hi bye out.

i will never miss a tour of hers again.

there goes the neighborhood

black is white, white is black, we’re through the looking glass people.

the president is black, the tallest dude in the nba is chinese,

and this year’s winners of the national step competition

are white.

mlk’s dream is being realized before our very eyes

and all we can do is bitch about nbc and american idol and create drinking games based on dick cheney’s heart attacks.

no wonder Shamu ate his trainer.

h/t @misterjt

Chris C. asks:

I am moving to Chile for this Woman [Etienne]. Tony do you know her? Why do I fall in love so easily? I would love to corresponde with her.

dear Chris,

yes I do know Etienne. not know know, but for a while she was one of my favorite bloggers. and no not just because shes adorable and hates clothes.

i loved etienne because she was creative and fun and funny, and took great pics of canaduh, and hung out with interesting people and had aspirations of ruling the world.

because you know that nothing in here is true, let me tell you the Story of E. once upon a time etienne realized that even though she was ridiculously attractive in a cafe-au-lait-Lolita way, in Canada she was just another hot babe because if we have established anything on the busblog it is: there are no fugly women in Canada.

added to that a family tragedy and etienne said eff this im outta here. she moved to Thailand. then she bopped over to Spain. then she went back to Asia. she came back to Canada for holidays but then explored South America. breaking hearts all around the globe, including the heart of yours truly when she took down her eponymous blogspot.

when i first became aware that etienne was a real person and not just a beautiful illusion set up to trick me into moving to Toronto i messaged her on MSN and asked her if she had a web cam. she did! i was convinced that when she got on cam the truth would be revealed, that there was this giant sized man who had a cute cousin who he took photographs of and pretended was this wild child.

“is that really you etienne?” i typed while watching her laugh on the chat window.

“of course it is. i should be asking you the same thing. am i really chatting with THE tony pierce?” she asked.

soon we both realized that the only way we could both be sure that we were each other was to get naked in the chat and simultaneously talk dirty on the telephone.

unfortunately she said, oh wait, how about first we pull out our drivers licenses and press them close to the camera.

best laid plans, my man. anyway, add smart to her list of attributes. or at least “not dumb”.

but id add smart because somehow she has figured out how to avoid the terrible climate of Americas Hat and has lived in what appears to be utter joy along some of the most tropical beaches around the world without the slightest need to blog any of it for our prying eyes.

before she left north america she did party with the likes of The Pants, Raymi, and i think Bunny McIntosh. all of them gave her rave reviews and said that men melted in her wake.

some say shes the root cause of global warming. sorry Climate Change.

how can you contact her?

i do it by blogging.