etienne is now a married woman

etiennethe street dogs of Santiago wagged their tails in unison this weekend as their patron saint was wed in holy matrimony in the capital city of Chile.

etienne aida reyes le blanc decided that her name wasn’t long enough?


hopelessly romantic, for as long as i knew her, etienne has been enamored with love. sadly for me,  her heartstrings were more attached to her scruffy bff Uva than this American, but theirs was and is true and unbreakable.

who is the lucky groom? like many things in her colorful life, that’s a secret. despite often being the brightest light in the room, etienne prefers to keep things on the down-low. she currently holds no social media footprint – as far as i know. there are no public photos of the ceremony. and the only reason i even knew it happened is because of the network of mythical but strong relationships between the XBI and its canadian brothers and sisters at the CIS.

etienne is a complex and dynamic young woman. wildly creative, capable of speaking a number of languages at her will, and able to make friends at the snap of her fingers. finding boyfriends was as easy for her as ringing a bell. but a husband is something new to her and whoever her beau is must be someone truly special because etienne suffers no fools.

the warmest of busblog wishes to both of them.

hey tony, how havent you gotten married yet?

me and etiennedear tony,

ive read your blog. ive read your tweets, ive seen your instagrams,

ive read your palm, ive audited your taxes, ive investigated your tarot.

you are a libra on the scorpio cusp. bad moon rising. 

you’re healthy, semi-wealthy, and wise. 

you have no problem talking with women or making even the most uncooperative of us smile.

you’re nearly 100 years old (black sure dont crack). so why havent you gotten married ever?

my guess: you are afraid of commitment, intimacy, and you hide behind your blog.


Famous Expert

dear expert,

some of what you say is true. i am wise. and im healthy. the rest, you should do more research.

i am not afraid of anything except the good lord (rightfully) nixxing me from Paradise.

when it comes to romance i go all in. i’ll fly to foreign lands, i’ll fly the lands to me.

i pay for everything. i give up everything.

i do all of the things ive seen other men refuse to do, not because of any other reason than i think its fun.

but there are several outside forces that, if you have truly read this blog, i have laid out repeatedly: the first is the undercover agency the xbi. they like it when i am sans babes. i get to help them save the world when im solo. the second is the angels. sometimes they pull apart the good things that i have going so the young lady can blossom somewhere else outside of my every clutching clutches. and the third is me. i am not as incredible in real life as i am on the www. i dress very badly, i have a spare tire belly, i eat at mcdonalds like every day, and i dont have a jealous bone in my body. believe it or not, that bothers some ladies.

regardless, i do not have the same goals as many on the planet. i do not think a wife, kids, and a minivan is the key to happiness. i think it can bring happiness. and im sure i could have been happy if one thing led to another and poof i was softball soccer dad driving my spawn to the bowling alley for tapdance lessons. but for some reason it didnt work out that way.

and i am willing to conclude that thats fine.

do i look at some of my friends and sigh and think wow, fucking kickass house, fucking sweet pool, fucking beautiful fam? yes. do i ever, even for a minute think, i wonder if that was me?


because that is nothing at all who tony pierce, xbi agent to the stars, busblog uber driver to LA, was meant to do.

for better or worse i was not put here to pay off a mortgage.

for worse or better i was put here to kiss pretty girls from around the world.

and then write about some of it

and take pictures in a canadian mirror after being interrogated by the border patrol

for you.

and you.

and them.

because they are busy raising the next generation and paying off that mortgage

and driving to tennis camp.

and when they see what i have to say

which is

none of this is true

they wont be tempted to do it too.

etienne, reporting from Chile,

with a chilly updatey

Hey Tony,

Yeah, I’m alive. Things are still bad, though. I’m not sure what you
see on the international news, but from what I’ve seen on the BBC,
you’re only getting a sliver. I know you’re no stranger to
earthquakes, so you know how fracking terrifying this situation is. I
could have never imagined. The sound! The disgusting sound of it all!
Anyway, I only have a bit of time at the internet place, because
there’s a long line-up. There are still lots of places in Santiago
without power, and there hasn’t been any bottled water since the
quake. We have it way better than 300km away from here.

I hope this email isn’t too scattered. It’s a scattered time.

Love ya,

p.s. Thanks for your email. It made me feel happy.

photo of etienne from happier times

Chris C. asks:

I am moving to Chile for this Woman [Etienne]. Tony do you know her? Why do I fall in love so easily? I would love to corresponde with her.

dear Chris,

yes I do know Etienne. not know know, but for a while she was one of my favorite bloggers. and no not just because shes adorable and hates clothes.

i loved etienne because she was creative and fun and funny, and took great pics of canaduh, and hung out with interesting people and had aspirations of ruling the world.

because you know that nothing in here is true, let me tell you the Story of E. once upon a time etienne realized that even though she was ridiculously attractive in a cafe-au-lait-Lolita way, in Canada she was just another hot babe because if we have established anything on the busblog it is: there are no fugly women in Canada.

added to that a family tragedy and etienne said eff this im outta here. she moved to Thailand. then she bopped over to Spain. then she went back to Asia. she came back to Canada for holidays but then explored South America. breaking hearts all around the globe, including the heart of yours truly when she took down her eponymous blogspot.

when i first became aware that etienne was a real person and not just a beautiful illusion set up to trick me into moving to Toronto i messaged her on MSN and asked her if she had a web cam. she did! i was convinced that when she got on cam the truth would be revealed, that there was this giant sized man who had a cute cousin who he took photographs of and pretended was this wild child.

“is that really you etienne?” i typed while watching her laugh on the chat window.

“of course it is. i should be asking you the same thing. am i really chatting with THE tony pierce?” she asked.

soon we both realized that the only way we could both be sure that we were each other was to get naked in the chat and simultaneously talk dirty on the telephone.

unfortunately she said, oh wait, how about first we pull out our drivers licenses and press them close to the camera.

best laid plans, my man. anyway, add smart to her list of attributes. or at least “not dumb”.

but id add smart because somehow she has figured out how to avoid the terrible climate of Americas Hat and has lived in what appears to be utter joy along some of the most tropical beaches around the world without the slightest need to blog any of it for our prying eyes.

before she left north america she did party with the likes of The Pants, Raymi, and i think Bunny McIntosh. all of them gave her rave reviews and said that men melted in her wake.

some say shes the root cause of global warming. sorry Climate Change.

how can you contact her?

i do it by blogging.