Tag Archives: etienne

etienne and i have been chatting

Posted on by

just know nothing i do regarding my heart
my financials
my career
my creativity
or my diet

makes any sense.

if there was a button that said correct choice

it would be the least touched button on my dashboard

but graciously, the Lord Above has saved my ass time and time again

for example when i was at santa monica college and pumping gas in beverly hills

i was torn between going to uc santa barbara and ucla

i had zero idea ucsb was a party school. the internet hadnt even been created. there was no way to know unless you had gone there,

it didnt become notorious until the years i was there

pure coincidence, i assure you

but i sincerely went there because i thought it would be easier for me to study

since it was away from LA and all the distractions here.

i swear.

but the Lord turned that mistake into a good thing.

(the greatest thing.)

etienne and i had some very high highs and very low lows.

there is something about her, still, that inspires me

i was writing her while under all these meds and too much sleep and these words just came flowing out and they were funny and creative and i just sat back as part of the audience because they were doing all the work and she was crying and i was laughing

it was such a flow i probably could have written a books worth of psychedelic romantic comedy all while asking about some of our past moments and she answering honestly and in such a lovely way

one thing i told her in this long flow ended like this

we must have been married 500 years ago and had a messy divorce over a misunderstanding that was revealed with a dna test long after i was hung

she wants to start a dog rescue down there so i made up a name and a poster

 

 

16 of my favorite pics of me

Posted on by
Reply

i have lots of pics i love. here are the 16 im willing to discuss at this moment.

one of the places i lived in San Francisco was on Haight Street a block from Fillmore. Near the end of the Fillmore line is a legendary rock club. At some point in my day I thought to myself, “Sound check for Elvis Costello tonight is probably 4pm.” So I got on the 22 Fillmore bus at 3:30pm, waited around a little in the mist and at 4pm a limo pulled up, Elvis got out. Earlier I had told a different guy, “if you take my pic, I’ll take one of you with him.”

one of the weirdest parts of my blogging career was how popular this blog was in canada. im not sure if it was raymi (pictured) or matthew good who linked to me first from up there, but as soon as they did, this thing went to another level for years. this is a halloween party up in toronto where raymi is dressed as a woman who got her neck slit open. im dressed as an american.

i had never been to a movie premiere before. liana miraculously got two tickets for the premiere of kill bill 2 at the chinese theatre, and you got free popcorn and pop.

very few pictures exist of me in college or with a skateboard, or wearing a swatch, or with chris smoking a cigarette wearing my amnesty international concert tee shirt. later that year i would have an epiphany on that plaid couch while watching roger clemens pitch in the playoffs.

found myself having to drive Cheech to his home and i said i have about an hours worth of questions for you on this 40 minute trip so strap in compadre. he answered them all.

i used to get invited to speak at colleges more often. but then the kids started quoting me on twitter.

my first day working at the LA Times also happened to be the paper’s Christmas party. this was the publisher David Hiller. he introduced himself to me and said, “Mr Blog Man, I have heard of you. I have a blog myself. Do you have any advice for me?”

I said, “I have seen your blog and it is good, Mr. Hiller. But I would not invest too much energy on it if I was you.”

Shocked, he said, “but why?”

I said, “I have heard a little about your life. You have a great life. Great life = bad blog. Bad life = great blot.”

And he laughed and laughed and someone took this picture.

I had no idea what to wear to work on your first day so I wore a ski sweater.

my first day at LAist I wore my lucky hawaiian shirt – which I would mysteriously lose the day etienne and i broke up for the second time and swim trunks. Basically on 6/6/06 we had drinks at the Good Luck Club and I said 100,000 people are reading this blog, your blog, right now. i know a way to get to a million. when i left we were at 1.3 million. the pants (left) knew we were gonna do it as did big tanky (right) because i was wearing a funny hat.

my last day at LAist i wore a robe and pajamas because the slur against bloggers was we were just losers in our pajamas in our parents’ basement typing up a bunch on nonsense. we were celebrating that i would be overseeing all the blogs at the LA Times. to my right is mr adam rose who had already made the leap from LAist to the LA Times, he was blogging about USC sports after a beautiful run of being the Sports Editor at LAist, a job he begged me for of which I gladly allowed him to do. he was incredible at it. he would later become a big wig at the huffington post.

sxsw austin about to ask a few questions to the drummer of metalica, watch amy winehouse, kiss a beautiful woman, and finish that diet dr pepper. sxsw is my favorite thing all year and i rarely go. but when i do i try to savor as much as i can while getting plenty of rest. the trick is to get a hotel right downtown. it will cost more. but if you can get a 5pm nap for about an hour and then go back out there, you’ll look as handsome and healthy as that smooth bastard.

i was sitting on a panel discussion in chinatown next to ev williams, pictured, who near the end takes over the laptop connected to the projector and it announced that Blogger had just that minute been sold to pre-IPO google. a few years later ev would co-found Twitter. the thing you probably clicked first to get here.

before i got work at the academy, i struck out on a bunch of job interviews. i couldn’t see why. my track record was incredible. but in retrospect, maybe the man upstairs was just waiting for the oscars job to open up. it turned out being the longest job i ever held and the most dramatic positive surge: 4,000% increase in followers.

crazy thing about LAist. we had no budget. i couldnt pay anyone. so i would throw barbeques at my apartment once a month. everyone would show up, theyd even bring food. it was beautiful. i think people write better when they like each other. this group loved each other.

bleachers, wrigley field, thanks to a go fund me supported by the greatest friends in the world. game four world series. three games later the cubs would win it all and my charmed life will have reached a peak.

on a road trip to canada in a dingy motel in oregon

on a road trip in ontario and quebec wearing a belt from a drug store that would tighten no problem but didn’t like to unloosen. etienne had just bought me ray bans and said i looked handsome for once and would like to take a picture of me at the count of three. un, deux

do i really miss everyone

Posted on by
Reply

i do.

everyone who has ever been close to me i miss.

etienne once gave me a hard time for that, maybe she was saying she didnt feel special if i was just gonna love ashley and michele and chris AND her

but wtf you dont think it’s possible that the heart can have room for everyone?

mine does.

maybe theres something wrong with it but theres lots of room and even the good book says you should love love love

which when its not there means you’ll miss miss miss.

etienne was a handful at times, but i was too. for all of them. but still i miss her.

i miss them all.

i remember when i saw my first girlfriend mary for the last time.

there was a fire in san diego, it circled where she was

for some reason i was visiting her and when i got there she was really stand offish

WHILE telling me all these terrible things her husband-at-the-time had done to her

but an outsider might have thought that i was the scoundrel.

do i miss mary?

yes.

i miss them all.

i miss the girl in sixth grade i asked to be my gf and she said her dad would kill her if she did

because i am of african decent.

i miss the roller rink we used to go to

i miss the girl who kissed me on the cheek there who was a cheerleader

i miss the music they played there

i miss getting blisters

i miss walking home in the snow because i ran out of quarters and didnt wanna call my mom collect

and it was miles in the dark

but that slush in my sneakers eased the blisters from throbbing.

so now lets rock.

ashley was right, im never pleased

Posted on by
Reply

etienne was right, im bossy

emma was right, her dad should kill me

the favourite was fine, but

theres always a but

heres my big problem with so many movies:

if you have action, you can’t have romance

if you have powerful women,

theres no room for powerful men.

star wars is great because everyone is great

except for the star troopers

so they made them look fantastic.

the favourite looks fine, is fine, is better than most

but is that what we should be shooting for? B-plusses?

when you have such fine performances, costumes, framework

would it kill you to go that extra mile?

i have spoken. exeunt.

etienne is now a married woman

Posted on by
Reply

the street dogs of Santiago wagged their tails in unison this weekend as their patron saint was wed in holy matrimony in the capital city of Chile.

etienne aida reyes le blanc decided that her name wasn’t long enough?

si.

hopelessly romantic, for as long as i knew her, etienne has been enamored with love. sadly for me,  her heartstrings were more attached to her scruffy bff Uva than this American, but theirs was and is true and unbreakable.

who is the lucky groom? like many things in her colorful life, that’s a secret. despite often being the brightest light in the room, etienne prefers to keep things on the down-low. she currently holds no social media footprint – as far as i know. there are no public photos of the ceremony. and the only reason i even knew it happened is because of the network of mythical but strong relationships between the XBI and its canadian brothers and sisters at the CIS.

etienne is a complex and dynamic young woman. wildly creative, capable of speaking a number of languages at her will, and able to make friends at the snap of her fingers. finding boyfriends was as easy for her as ringing a bell. but a husband is something new to her and whoever her beau is must be someone truly special because etienne suffers no fools.

the warmest of busblog wishes to both of them.

hey tony, how havent you gotten married yet?

Posted on by
5

dear tony,

ive read your blog. ive read your tweets, ive seen your instagrams,

ive read your palm, ive audited your taxes, ive investigated your tarot.

you are a libra on the scorpio cusp. bad moon rising. 

you’re healthy, semi-wealthy, and wise. 

you have no problem talking with women or making even the most uncooperative of us smile.

you’re nearly 100 years old (black sure dont crack). so why havent you gotten married ever?

my guess: you are afraid of commitment, intimacy, and you hide behind your blog.

signed,

Famous Expert

dear expert,

some of what you say is true. i am wise. and im healthy. the rest, you should do more research.

i am not afraid of anything except the good lord (rightfully) nixxing me from Paradise.

when it comes to romance i go all in. i’ll fly to foreign lands, i’ll fly the lands to me.

i pay for everything. i give up everything.

i do all of the things ive seen other men refuse to do, not because of any other reason than i think its fun.

but there are several outside forces that, if you have truly read this blog, i have laid out repeatedly: the first is the undercover agency the xbi. they like it when i am sans babes. i get to help them save the world when im solo. the second is the angels. sometimes they pull apart the good things that i have going so the young lady can blossom somewhere else outside of my every clutching clutches. and the third is me. i am not as incredible in real life as i am on the www. i dress very badly, i have a spare tire belly, i eat at mcdonalds like every day, and i dont have a jealous bone in my body. believe it or not, that bothers some ladies.

regardless, i do not have the same goals as many on the planet. i do not think a wife, kids, and a minivan is the key to happiness. i think it can bring happiness. and im sure i could have been happy if one thing led to another and poof i was softball soccer dad driving my spawn to the bowling alley for tapdance lessons. but for some reason it didnt work out that way.

and i am willing to conclude that thats fine.

do i look at some of my friends and sigh and think wow, fucking kickass house, fucking sweet pool, fucking beautiful fam? yes. do i ever, even for a minute think, i wonder if that was me?

no.

because that is nothing at all who tony pierce, xbi agent to the stars, busblog uber driver to LA, was meant to do.

for better or worse i was not put here to pay off a mortgage.

for worse or better i was put here to kiss pretty girls from around the world.

and then write about some of it

and take pictures in a canadian mirror after being interrogated by the border patrol

for you.

and you.

and them.

because they are busy raising the next generation and paying off that mortgage

and driving to tennis camp.

and when they see what i have to say

which is

none of this is true

they wont be tempted to do it too.

etienne, reporting from Chile,

Posted on by
1

with a chilly updatey

Hey Tony,

Yeah, I’m alive. Things are still bad, though. I’m not sure what you
see on the international news, but from what I’ve seen on the BBC,
you’re only getting a sliver. I know you’re no stranger to
earthquakes, so you know how fracking terrifying this situation is. I
could have never imagined. The sound! The disgusting sound of it all!
Anyway, I only have a bit of time at the internet place, because
there’s a long line-up. There are still lots of places in Santiago
without power, and there hasn’t been any bottled water since the
quake. We have it way better than 300km away from here.

I hope this email isn’t too scattered. It’s a scattered time.

Love ya,
Etienne

p.s. Thanks for your email. It made me feel happy.

photo of etienne from happier times

Chris C. asks:

Posted on by
3

I am moving to Chile for this Woman [Etienne]. Tony do you know her? Why do I fall in love so easily? I would love to corresponde with her.

dear Chris,

yes I do know Etienne. not know know, but for a while she was one of my favorite bloggers. and no not just because shes adorable and hates clothes.

i loved etienne because she was creative and fun and funny, and took great pics of canaduh, and hung out with interesting people and had aspirations of ruling the world.

because you know that nothing in here is true, let me tell you the Story of E. once upon a time etienne realized that even though she was ridiculously attractive in a cafe-au-lait-Lolita way, in Canada she was just another hot babe because if we have established anything on the busblog it is: there are no fugly women in Canada.

added to that a family tragedy and etienne said eff this im outta here. she moved to Thailand. then she bopped over to Spain. then she went back to Asia. she came back to Canada for holidays but then explored South America. breaking hearts all around the globe, including the heart of yours truly when she took down her eponymous blogspot.

when i first became aware that etienne was a real person and not just a beautiful illusion set up to trick me into moving to Toronto i messaged her on MSN and asked her if she had a web cam. she did! i was convinced that when she got on cam the truth would be revealed, that there was this giant sized man who had a cute cousin who he took photographs of and pretended was this wild child.

“is that really you etienne?” i typed while watching her laugh on the chat window.

“of course it is. i should be asking you the same thing. am i really chatting with THE tony pierce?” she asked.

soon we both realized that the only way we could both be sure that we were each other was to get naked in the chat and simultaneously talk dirty on the telephone.

unfortunately she said, oh wait, how about first we pull out our drivers licenses and press them close to the camera.

best laid plans, my man. anyway, add smart to her list of attributes. or at least “not dumb”.

but id add smart because somehow she has figured out how to avoid the terrible climate of Americas Hat and has lived in what appears to be utter joy along some of the most tropical beaches around the world without the slightest need to blog any of it for our prying eyes.

before she left north america she did party with the likes of The Pants, Raymi, and i think Bunny McIntosh. all of them gave her rave reviews and said that men melted in her wake.

some say shes the root cause of global warming. sorry Climate Change.

how can you contact her?

i do it by blogging.