im a little depressed tonight. nothing serious. nothing to comment on. just the true love. she told me that she was not only moving to my most hated city on the planet, but that she had found another. hasnt been back in america for more than a few months, and spent most of that time in oregon, yet has found another to love. annoying. some say im to blame. some say i pushed her away by being honest with her and pledging my allegiance and by stating the obvious which is sure time has passed but we still have something special, something rarer than rare. something that defies all space and time.

her beautiful blue eyes said yes but her mouth said no. and it smiled when it said no. indeed it laughed because thats what happens when you lie thru yr teeth.

run to san dieger beautiful angel. fly away to the arms of america. cant run forever. and you know noone has what ive got. one day we will be in walkers but because im black i will have a step on her and i will push her walker over and make love to her right there in the rec room at the old folks home in front of everyone. no little blue pills needed. some might be ingested, of course, cuz if youre gonna put on a show make it a good one, but none will be needed.

back in olden times when mtv played videos that helped you learn about new music, theyd have these Weekends. like occasionally itd be a Michael Jackson Weekend and all theyd do is play all these vids from the kingofpop, sometimes itd be a Madonna Weekend, and you’d get to see everything she had come out with. i dont know if they ever really had a sammy hagar weekend because other than 1-2-3 lock box and i cant drive 55 i dont know if they coulda had even a sammy hagar hour unless they counted all that crap that pretended to be van halen.

which is why i love thelonius monster for this song. which captures a beautiful slice of a beautiful time in southern california and maybe the world. a time when boys had “little tiny baby moustache”s and smoked pot and drank beer and sat in the parking lot of anaheim stadium. a time when football arenas werent renamed to be ads for crap. a time when true loves didnt move to the 619 without really giving the ones who they really loved a chance first.

i know ive had lots of chances. more than i deserve. but on any given sunday even a blogger can do the right thing. even a washed up one. even me.

to cheer up i ate sushi with two lovely ladies and then got wasted at this pool party at the custom hotel. sorta worked. but tonight it stopped working when there was a moment of silence in this empty house and i realized that someones spooning her in the darkness and whispering dirty jokes tonight and making her laugh.

and that person doesnt have a blog.

Well It’s a sammy hagar weekend
it’s a sammy hagar state of mind
it’s a sammy hagar weekend
it’s a sammy hagar way of life
we’re gonna drink some beer
smoke some pot
snort some coke
and then drive
drive over 55
yeah
’cause it’s a sammy hagar weekend
it’s a big man’s day

we got our metallica t-shirts
got our little tiny baby mustache
got a jacked up camaro
we’re sitting in the parking lot at anaheim stadium
drinking beer
smoking pot
snorting coke
and then drive
drive over 55 yeah
’cause it’s a sammy hagar weekend

it’s a big man’s day

we’re gonna drink some beer
smoke some pot
snort some coke
and then drive
drive over 55 yeah
’cause it’s a sammy hagar weekend
it’s a big man’s day

a sammy hagar weekend
a sammy hagar weekend yeah

just cruisin’ and boozin’ yeah
on a sammy hagar weekend yeah
a sammy hagar weekend

a big man’s day

before yesterdays bears victory

i love it when people sing the national anthem.
i love ginormous american flags
i love really crappy amateur camerawork
i love that peyton manning thought he didnt need to play any pre-season games
i love when people in the worst seats in the stadium shoot video
i love indoor fireworks

but most of all i love that da bears are 1-0 thanks in part to great defense.

also, i didnt think that johnny mathis was still alive. is that wrong?

yesterday was a big tv day. lots of football. lots of morning political talk shows.

but then there was also the VMAs!

i thought kanye was aaaah-ite. but lil wayne kicked buttocks.

swore. threw down. held his junk. brought up how janet lost her top at the superbowl (an mtv production), and somehow scampered about with his lil ass sticking out of his pants, but never had his pants actually fall off. tough trick, lemme tell you.

i also thought the host was funny. whatever his name is.

but back to the lil wayne bit above, at the end did he say, “shout out to matt damon”?

is jimmy kimmel everywhere?

whats blogging life after Defamer? thankfully, it’s just as funny. hopefully not as stressful. but for readers, it’s just as delightful.

almost every day Mark Lisanti posts something short but interesting on his new blog Lisanti Quarterly. it’s on the Tumblr platform which is the short attention span format and the former defamer editor works it beautifully.

yesterday he posted this video of the Barack Roll if it were to have happened in minnesota last week.

if only the hacker kids werent slackers deep down. but i guess mccain entertained enough on his own. my only question is, what ever happened to the Ron Paul revolution that promised to make some noise at the con?

i was sorta looking forward to that.

heres karisa peddling down sunset

in her ongoing quest to dazzle the readers of the busblog, karisa j., seen here on sunset blvd right before she took over the lead in the 69th annual LA triathlon, IMed me on friday to tell me that she was going to participate.

the maps of the race were confusing, but if i wasnt hallucinating, it looked like the “Olympic bicycle turn” was mere feet away from my doorstep. a good thing because i didnt get to bed last night till 5am. cough cheerleaders.

in our IM on friday karisa told me that she was gonna jump in the pacific around 7am. so i asked, how long will it take you to swim, and ride your bike through venice, the westside, mid wilshire, and most of hollywood. she said, “just a few hours”. so i said, ok i will be on sunset near the scientology sign about 9ish. got there at 9:05 and was a little nervous that id missed her because there were a bunch of people on bikes (and a few people who seemed a tad out of shape). but lo, at 9:20ish, i heard this “hi tony” and there was karisa smiling and waving – which was amazing because most of the people tearing ass at that point were huffing and gasping and grabbing water from the volunteers.

but karisa was just tooling along, another walk in the park as it were.

i said, how ya feeling? she said good! so i took the camera out, hit the button and caught her coming around the turn-around. thats our girl waving at the :51 mark of the vid.

she later won the race by 17 minutes.

totally worked. so heres your answers to axe tony

leah: tony, who are you going to vote for?

i was thinking about The Steps cuz they got that hockey mom on backup vocals, and you know, shes spunky. then i was thinking about Mingo Fishtrap cuz you can anagram their name into Farming His Pot. but after further consideration, im leaning toward Quiet Company cuz they rock.

Sharp: Do you ever get tired of us know-it-all Canadians who claim to know how to run the USA better than anybody in the USA?

canadians can speculate all they want. but theres one thing they have to do before they can say anything: allow beer sales in their grocery stores and gas stations. until booze is set free in the great white north, no cannuck can talk any trash on us.

Bob D: Answers to Abe questions Yes yes yes no no. Question…TP I am starting to get that all too familiar pain in the pit of my stomach as I hear of Zambrano’s tendinitis and Harden’s missed turns in the rotation, so my question to you is how many marshmellows do you think Rick Reuschel can fit in his mouth?

the correct answer is zero because The Whale doesn’t put marshmellows in his mouth, they go directly down his throat and into his gut. but thank you for the trick question. meanwhile, secure me a world series ticket cuz im coming out there in rocktober to get this damn thing done.

adriel: is there anything i CAN’T DO???

you cant fly to LA in a catholic girl skirt. for my birthday.

zona: Sharp. who DOESN’T? Yo Tone’, would you support a law prohibiting true blondes from shaving “down there”?

as a borderline libertarian i value individual freedom in ways that most people probably consider ridiculous. for example, i think a man should be able to paint his house any color he wants. with that said, the first time i ever encountered a true blonde i was 19, i think. these were in the days before people shaved. and when all was revealed in the backseat of my cadillac i swear it looked like a cloud floating above paradise. today it would look like – something totally different. although i would vote against such a law, if one was passed i would be interested to see how they would enforce such legistlation.

Andrea: What are your thoughts on girls in glasses?

girls look great in anything. ties, boots, scuba gear, top hats. when i used to work with karisa she would sometimes wear glasses and i told her that she looked better in them than without them. she didnt believe me. but twas true.

Harold: How did you do this at the LA Times?

pure luck. the portion that i participated in, at least. by luck i mean, i am lucky to have a genius boss, im lucky to work around brilliant people, and im lucky that our bloggers are all pretty fantastic writers who work extremely hard. its a perfect storm of rock over there which is why readership is higher than ever in our history.

Phaedra: If you were to participate in a triathlon, which leg would you do – swimming, running, or cycling? And when are you coming back to Vancouver. I missed out last time apparently, or so I’ve been told

im a terrible swimmer, and i dont see the point of running. i would do the cycling part on my mountain bike and ollie over fire hydrants and potholes. im never going back to vancity.

Sharp (aka Azreal Darkskies): one more! What are your thoughts on bottled water?

when i was a kid i would drink water out of faucets, out of garden hoses, id roll up snowballs and eat that too. sometime around college i started hating water unless it was disguised as Budweiser. it wasnt until bottled water arrived that people, including myself, cut down on sodas and started drinking plain old water, which is better for us. yes they have to burn a lot of gas to deliver us the water, and they have to figure out what to do with the bottles once we toss them in the garbage. but i say lets burn all the gas so we can move on, and i believe that one day all those empties will fuel our homes. so thank you evian, arrowhead, et al.

David: do long distance relationships ever work tony? and will the rays stay on top or fizzle down the stretch? the bosox are only 2 and a half back…

ive never had a long distance relationship work out. maybe temporarily, but not in the long run. the Lord has made lots of people. make out with one who lives near you. american league is boring. theyre only competing to see who will lose to the cubbies, so i hope the white sox get it together so we can do it right.

Lewis: Has the experiment in democracy honored by the mf-er Lincoln lost all legitimacy and is it beyond repair? That is, r we tools to think digital tools, ie a digital commons, is strong enough to re-vive it, pleazzzeee, let’s not believe the hype, right?

no.

aj: tony – what’s up with the cubs?

the cubs are doing exactly what you should do when you’re playing pinball. you should push and pull the machine until it tilts. you should let a few balls bounce around the table and watch them drain. you should try to aim at every corner of the machine to see how everything works and reacts. the cubs are seein how every man performs in every situation. theyve even used zambrano as a pinch hitter. its ok that hes a little hurt. they all should be. but he will be back in time for the stretch run, and most importantly the playoffs. all will be well.bloopy: as much as i’d like obama to win, i can’t help but think mccain is gonna win purely ‘cuz he’s a white dude running for office in a relatively intolerant and ignorant country. . . plus i’m kind of concerned that with congress approval ratings being in the toilet, there might be a switch back to a republican majority with a republican president. . . got any thoughts to boost my confidence in obama’s ability to win the presidency?. . . or at least to boost my confidence that we won’t have another four years of an all-republican government?

obama has already presented himself to america. theres nothing more he can do to win. now america has to decide if they are ready for a charismatic educated black man. one day it will be. maybe that time is now, maybe it isnt. but this country isnt going to get a smarter brotha than barry, the question is, does that freak people out or inspire them?

i dont think congress will go back to the gop. of the two conventions, the dems had a more interesting presentation but more people watched mccain. but we’re still in iraq, our economy is still in turmoil, and gas still cost triple what it did not too long ago. i think most people think of Bush when they think about iraq and the fuel pump. and if they do, like-minded republicans will probbaly continue to be punished at the ballot box.

Phil: Tony if you had to sell your soul, what would you want for it?

if i *had* to sell my soul, i would want to be able to play guitar as well as hendrix. you can do a lot of good in the world with music.

omg. wtf. lulz

topics on the table:

would abe lincoln be more beloved if he had used a teleprompter?
would abe lincoln vote for sarah palin?
would abe lincoln hurt his rotator cuff during the last month of the regular season?
would abe lincoln watch thursday night football will all his rowdy friends?
would abe lincoln get swift boated for freeing the slaves?

“Mrs. Palin needs to be reminded that Jesus Christ was a community organizer and Pontius Pilate was a governor.”

– Jonathan Martin, quoting a commentor

and i say LA is my lady

shes always warm. so warm i havent used my heater in the 8 years that ive lived in hollywood. shes never cold unless i deserve it .

la is like 17 girlfriends all in one. drive from venice to south central to koreatown to east la and you’ll see some of it. truck up through the valley and westwood and little armenia and thai town and you’ll see that maybe its more like 42 girlfriends all in one.

the cars are great. the art is great. the food is beyond delicious. f paris. f italy. f vegas. theres so much music here that its not unusual for there to be Bob Dylan, Lee “Scratch” Perry, Three 6 Mafia, and Louden Wainright III all in different locales on a Wednesday night.

the houses are beautiful, the mountains are right there, the beach is right here, the desert is right over there. skateboards, snowboards, boogie boards, and surfboards fill each of our closets.

i also hear theres good shopping here. i know that theres Santee Alley and the venice board walk and their are outlet stores a short drive out of the county.

people talk about our schools being so so. i say YOUR schools are so so! the times just launched our huge Schools database which is more than so so.

but mostly i love LA for the people. i know thats weird to say cuz lots of people say that there are only shallow evil materialistic people out here. but the joke is, those are only the transplants from new york. i love all the transplants cuz theyre from everywhere. but i also love the natives. typically the most mellow people you’ll meet cuz theyve seen it all.

combined you get one of the best examples of melting pot anywhere in the world. which is why i celebrate LA’s 227th birthday… with the theme song of 227:

Yesterday, hardest hike and distance of my life: nine or so miles of the treacherous Kalalau trail along the Na’pali coast (google for more info–if you ever brave it, it it will be the hardest thing you ever do, I promise). On our way back after about 5.5 miles of single track seriously hard, muddy, move-2 inches-off-the-trail-and-you-plummet-to-a-horrible-horrible-death-among-the paradise-cliffs, N started running far ahead of me, leaving me panting and frustrated and slipping over muddy rocks and roots to catch up.

I finally caught up to chew him out along one of the switchbacks on the trail, overlooking the aquamarine jewel waters washing onto Hanakapiai beach. He was fiddling with his Camelbak and I was prepping myself to rip him a new one. He spun around and in his hands was a silver little box. Sweaty, muddy, and grinning nervously ear to ear, N knelt on a slippery, red rock, opened the box, and said, “So, you think this wait was worth it?” At that point I burst into tears and he had to hold me until I regained verbal capability. About three or four minutes later, N said, “I didn’t get your answer!” To which I hiccuped, “You didn’t ask the Question!”

He got on his knee again, and asked, “Will you marry me?”

find out the answer here

two years ago this month i met the lovely maeko after reading her beautifully designed blog for a while, and not only was she a super hot tamale but she was really funny and very smart. we only had an hour to lunch because she had a crazy job, but it was really cool and she was one of the most interesting people i met on my trip around america.

and definitely the brightest moment in my little stop in the motor city.