so heres yr answers to Ask Tony, and yes thats a picture of Miss 604 and Keira-Anne with Hanson

Keira-Anne: When I was a child, I secretly hoped that when I grew up and had a child that he or she would be born with Down’s Syndrome because I believed children that were, were more important. Does that make me twisted?

when i was a child i had a crush on a little girl named ilka wagner. i used to secretly hope that she would get hit by a car so i could give her mouth to mouth and bring her back to life which would make her love me for ever. it means that all kids are twisted. and should probably get spanked more out of principle. or maybe they should be babysat by this guy.

Kerry: Sometimes it seems when you read the news, a middle eastern country has a car bomb or terrorist attack daily. Why do you think we haven’t had that here in the USA?

we have better weed and hotter chicks. that demotivates the desire to blow s**t up, generally.

Alys: Last night I couldn’t fall asleep and wound up going through a TON of stuff in my head as I lay there… Do you ever have insominac nights and if so what do you think about?

theres very little in my head. maybe thats why i never have insomniac nights. i also have thousands of blogs to read, dozens of books on my nightstands, and handfuls of cheerleaders tapping on my windowsill. even if i wanted to go to sleep early i doubt i could ever do it. oh and theres all those video games i havent played, and cds i havent burned for my mom, and books i havent written. i hardly sleep at all, but not because im trying to sleep.

ddebil: You, tony? I can’t say. But someone? probably.

i couldnta said it better myself.

JackassJimmy: What will be the end of the democrats campaign journey to the white house?

exaltation, voting machine drama, and then misery and hand wringing. and then they will have no one to blame but themselves because theyve had 8 years to see this coming and they still havent done anything about it. say hello to President Paul.

Ciavarro: Holy crap I’m married. Can you believe it?

on one hand i cant because you should know better. you had a good thing going. you had a nice blog. you had friends. you had a future. but on the other hand danielle is a sweetheart and i can see why you ruined everything for her. i saw your wedding photos on facebook and i was expecting something a little more italian. like a cake made out of meatballs or something. i dont know why. but it was adorable. my best to you and your bella. you must tell me what pizzeria youre registered at.

Tania: Do Americans even notice that we’re in the midst of our own election campaign up here in the Great White North, aka Canada?

wait, you can vote for queen now?

Mike: Dear Tony, Vancouver a safe choice for a new years bash?

it is. and its too safe. which is why i wont be there. (unless matt goods playing)

Bob D: Would there be any situation where you would live in alaska ?

love does weird things to a man. which is why i avoid it. lust does worst things to a man, which is why if even anna kournikova said baby lets move to wasilla and let me help you run for mayor just to be ironic – id probably say yes and do it. but only because she would be qualified to be my first lady since russia is so close to alaska.

timmay!!!!!: did i die a few years ago … and i just don’t realize it yet? (because that’s how this country is making me feel right about now)

when you die, timmmmay, you will go to heaven. is this your idea of paradise? for some reason id think that in your heaven the music on the radio would be better than this.

lily: where were you on sept 11 2001?

i was blogging. in fact i had just started blogging regularly and i hate to say it but if it wasnt for that horrible day i probably wouldnt have this particular blog because two days after 9/11 i made this photo essay and it got me hundreds of thousands of new visitors. that sort of attention is the perfect way to be motivated to keep up yr new hobby.

adriel: why do dumbf##ks keep trying to convince everyone that obama is the antichrist?

because hes black, hes well spoken, and his middle name is ann coulter.

Sharp (aka Azreal Darkskies): f’in dude from Pearl Jam is a Cubs fan. How does that make you feel?

there are lots of cub fans in terrible bands. his just gets more radio play. tom morello is also a cub fan. i try to focus on him and his band more.

Krista: i have major blogger’s block, what should i do?

i cant pretend that i know you very well. or your lifestyle. but generally people get bloggers block because they have things inside them that they want to say but theyre afraid that the people in their real lives would be hurt/embarrassed/pissed off if the blogger wrote what she really wants to say. ask yourself this, if you created a private blog right this second on blogspot, would you really have nothing to say there? something tells me youd have lots to say. the trick of real blogging, though, and not private blogblogging, is to say those things in your existing blog. perhaps through metaphor, symbolism, photo essay, poetry, or something. anything. and do it daily. by the way, every post youve ever made is perfect and beautiful. you should do everything you can to break out of the block and quit listening to the devil in your ear thats whispering the negative things.

ps heres what i wrote about “blogger burnout” several years ago.

top photo of keira-anne and hanson via keira-anne, photo of chad’s “family” via cristina rossi, photo of downtown vancity by duane storey, and photo of krista by oceanaria

the cubs are still in first place, thus its Ask Tony

topics on the table:

would there be any situation where i would choose to have a downs baby
would there be any situation where i would live in alaska
would there be any situation where i would have a fifth child while being governor
would there be any situation where if something happend to the First Dude id make out with a vice president candidate

some times i feel like that fake singer andy kaufman used to play tony clifton, some times i feel like flava flav, but often i feel like george clinton.

i think, i must be from another planet. i must be from another time. things happen around me and to me and at me and i think there just has to be a camera on me, this is clearly an episode of punk’d this is obviously the new candid camera.

but no one jumps out of the ceiling, people dont laugh and applaud and some douche yells cut, people just keep walking or talking or blahblahblahing and i drive home heat up some chinese and stare at the ceiling thinking wtf wtf wtf.

the ceiling cat says why dont you touch yrself and im all didnt you hear me, i said wtf.

thing is, if im gonna accept babes way outta my leauge, and the cubs still in first place despite doing everything they can to blow it, and the bears ruling, and my friends being amazing, and my job being unreal, then i hafta accept the unbelievable bs nonsensical wtfs that find their way in my daily deeds. its only fair.

but still i question it. at 101 years old, do i still not know my environment that well? am i still surprised by the utter randomness that people think and say. surely theyre just trying to get a rise from me. they cant really believe that.

like for example i dont care which “party” wins the presidency, but who are these people who are going to vote for mccain because theyre pissed off that hillary couldnt beat obama? seriously who are they? i say give them their own tv series because theyre unlike any logical person ive ever met, and i wanna see what else they do in life. like when they find out that they hafta wait three months for a hybrid do they say f it and lease a hummer?

i wish i was that unpredictable. i look at myself and i think – most obvious most predictable most boring man alive. just look at me in that picutre above. cubs hat (like you couldnt guess), polo shirt (!), mojito. bor-ring. wheres the punk rock aesthetics. wheres the sense of style. wheres the slap in the face from the babe because of the wandering hands? all there is is what youd imagine there is – dullard and hot babe.

i like that picture because it says so much about me. thats the same shirt i woulda worn in high school. those are the same $5 sun glasses, and thats the same hat. i love rum so thats the drink i woulda had, and because God is wonderful, the girl next to me is 234534 times cooler than i deserve, but such is the path the Lord has always had me on. i dont understand that neither.

whats the point of this post? who knows. life is weird. maybe thats the point. as if you needed me to say it. but just know if youve been feeling it and you sometimes feel alone and disenfranchised, just know that i feel it too. a lot. and heres to hoping that one day our spaceship picks us up and flies us home to where things make perfect sense.

October 28 – Wilkes-Barre, PA – Wachovia Arena

October 30 – Chicago, IL – Allstate Arena

November 3 – Indianapolis, IN – Conseco Fieldhouse

November 5 – Detroit, MI – Palace of Auburn Hills

November 7 – Toronto – Rogers Centre

November 9 – Boston, MA – TD Banknorth Garden

November 12, 13 – New York, NY – Madison Square Garden

November 15 – Washington, D.C. – Verizon Center

November 17 – Philadelphia, PA – Wachovia Center

November 19 – East Rutherford, NJ – IZOD Center

November 21 – Columbus, OH – Schottenstein Center

November 23 – Minneapolis, MN – Xcel Energy Center

November 25 – Denver, CO – Pepsi Center

November 28 – Vancouver, BC – General Motors Place

November 29 – Seattle, WA – Key Arena

November 30 – Tacoma, WA – Tacoma Dome

December 2 – Oakland, CA – ORACLE Arena

December 6 – Los Angeles, CA – The Forum

December 10 – Phoenix, AZ – US Airways Center

December 12 – San Antonio, TX – AT&T Center

December 14 – Houston, TX – Toyota Center

December 16 – Atlanta, GA – Philips Arena

December 18 – Charlotte, NC – Time Warner Arena

Tickets for upcoming US dates will go on sale the weekend of September 20th at Ticketmaster and the band’s website, www.acdc.com. Additional appearances thru North and South America, and Europe, will be announced shortly.

h/t Timmmmmay!!!

vote here before its too late

from the Times:

Leaders of the Los Angeles Community Redevelopment Agency hired 100 goats to nibble away thick weeds on a steep slope at the corner of 4th and Hill streets, next to the Angels Flight funicular.

Agency officials said the goats were cheaper and more environmentally friendly than two-legged brush-clearers armed with gasoline-powered weed-whackers.

And they are much more fun to watch, downtown office workers and other passersby quickly decided, as the animals fanned out over the 45-degree slope and chowed down.

They ruled and everyone had smiles everyone. They seemed to love eating the trees the most.

More photos here.

I love Quiet Company for several reasons. The main reasons being that my husband is the heart behind the band and that most of the songs are sweet words towards me. But even if Quiet Company were a stranger- I’d still stick behind them because they are good. And to put icing on their rock cake- they are also humble, sincere, friendly, and hard working. That’s my main sales pitch: Quiet Company IS JUST GOOD.

With that being said, they’re in a contest to play Austin City Limits. ACL is a three day festival where important people play and thousands of people hear. Foo Fighters, Beck, Tom Petty, you name them- they have probably played the festival. Quiet Company is in the 4th round (out of 5) to be able to play the festival. If they win? A ton of exposure. A ton of, in my opinion, well-earned exposure. This band has been working it’s collective rear off for the past 2 years with extensive touring and living music. All you have to do is vote for the next 2 days from every e.mail address you have. And I promise you this, it literally takes less than one minute. To help a band. That you might even sincerely like.

Or at least, do it for the internet and Tony Pierce. Amen.

especially if youre canadian, eh.

keira-anne has the details:

SPCA walk to raise funds for the BC-SPCA on Sunday, September 14. I’ll leave it up to you to think of a creative and saucy reason for which people should sponsor me (and Matt too I guess). Everyone that donates $20 or more gets thrown into a raffle draw for a $50 MyVisa gift card and a frameable 8×10 photo of one of Duane’s HDR portraits (like this one). Tell them to help me blow this popsicle stand away and be BC’s top fundraiser.

keira-anne and matt have posted about this recently and because secretly you all love bc and dogs and cats, you should help our four legged friends, dontcha think?

but me specifically

he made me want to drink apple juice this morning. a beverage i love every morning.

in fact one reason that i am rarely sick is due, i believe, to positive thinking, and a constant intake of 100% apple juice every day.

as i was waiting for the elevator, i noticed it was taking a long time to arrive on my floor. i also noticed that the other elevator was being held on the 6th floor for a very long time.

the 6th floor at the LA Times is a really cool level where they routinely lease out for movies, commercials, and music videos cuz its super beautiful up there and no one works there any more, and you can do a lot of things with it.

you can also rent it out for big bucks if you’re trying to be creative with how to make income.

i got in the elevator and saw a sign that said “Bone Deep, 6th Floor” and i chuckled because i finally understood the joke my coworker had made when he said they were filming a porn upstairs. i was bummed that i hadnt brought my iPhone so i could take a picture for the busblog.

got off on the first floor and who looked right at me with her soft brown eyes?

none other than my girlfriend Rihanna. looking amazing.

anyone who knows me knows im rarely speechless, let alone starstruck, but there she was, looking hotter than anyone ive ever met or seen in any elevator ever. even megan fox who i rode with in the palms a year ago last week in vegas at the vmas with karisa.

“we’re getting on the elevator” her handler said into a headset. i slipped out, her 400lb security guard kept the door open, rihanna returned to her Sidekick, she smiled, fainted a little in my heart.

and the rest of the day has been a little dream knowing that one floor above me is my Jamaican princess. yes, with her bf chris brown, but we will forget that detail.

and yes my apple juice was delish.