for almost an entire week

cuz a bitch ate oneclay aiken” has been the number one search phrase on Technorati, it’s also been one of the most-tagged phrases in people’s blogs.

lets see what the last few blogs have said in reference to america’s most loved runner up.

… Herschell has played thousands of clubs, bars, and dives all over America opening for acts including Molly Hatchet, Gwar; Culture Club and Clay Aiken. He enjoys water polo, shooting automatic weapons, horror movies, and raising cows.

myspace.com/blackwatermetal

… As I began to regain my eyesight (and sense of feeling in my upper body) I discovered that the only source of fat, complex-almost-cancerous carbohydrates, and cholestorol thick enough to clog Clay Aiken’s anus was a Swanson Hungry Man Southern Fried Chicken that has been hibernating in our freezer for about 3 equinoxes. So I threw it in our plutonium-powered gamma ray flash-heater: the microwave oven.

myspace.com/acidtripper

Why dear God are so many people still talking about Clay Aiken???

Why is he still rated so high on all the search engines of internetville, have you seen what he looks like now! I understand that he sings so loverly and stuff, but come on, he hasn’t done an album in like 2-3 years and he showed up on American Idol looking like a really ugly chick. I will never understand the obsession so many people have with Clay Aiken…ok I rest my freakin’ case.

hollywood gossip whores

If anyone has pictures of Clay Aiken with his sexy longish dark hair, hook me up, cos I love him!

megyn-rainbow.livejournal

I’ve told you so many times that you look like Clay Aiken. Ok not as gay as Gayken, but similar features and subconscious movements. I realised that since AI2003.

First and foremost – the smile. Look at the loopsided senget smile that Aiken has. This grin if you scrutinize closely from front, left and right look exactly like yours. 2nd, the hair, he has similar hair as yours. 3rd, his laughter or giggle is exactly like yours.
And whatever style he did with his hair, hey man, you have done it too. You had this look when I first met you, didn’t you? And the same slouch and gait. Oh, look at those chubby cheeks.
But Aiken’s eyes are not as deepset as yours. You have more of Toby’s eyes and the chin too. But only those two, for the rest of the features – Aiken is your lookalike.

OMG I’m dating Clay Aiken!

somnabulism.blogspot.com

Kinda random stuff:

but what has happend to my beloved Britney Spears. I was slaaaaave 4 her! But now wtf? Kfed what have u done to her? or should I blame Sean Preston? I want my baby back baby back=(

Is everyone in Europe ridiculously good looking? Yes! Specially in Spain, France, England, Italy, Ireland, Switzerland, Germany, Greece, I could keep going but Daham, the girls girls girls!!

I still have no mothafokkin clue whats goin on Lost saw the season finale yesturday, also I was a lil upset to find out a gray haired senior citizen won American Idol? Hicks is it? How funny was the Clay Aiken look alike! he almost had a seizure. Hes right though Clay Aiken=pure hotness! O ya-

myspace.com/ichuckwood

thats what youve been missing.

grace + floorpie + sean bonner + get well leck

me: raymi what are you wearing

raymi: oh sorry im, im wearing these pants i just cut into short/pants that are black cords and i look amazing
and cowboy boots
with pink and blue striped sox sticking out
and a white tank top thing and a lot of makeup

me: why arent you wearing a bikini, i thought it was hot over there?

2:03 PM raymi: cos i am going to be meeting some lady friends in an hour on a patio and i am practising wearing clothes

me: are you guys gonna have a pretend tea party?

2:04 PM raymi: yes but the pretending will be real and the tea with be huge booze drinks

me: what will be the topics of discussion on the table?
… do you predict.

2:05 PM raymi: morphine ex loser boyfriends obesity funny things i said or did once

me: ive only done demerol, never morphine

2:06 PM raymi: ive done neither

me: dont fret, yr young

raymi: aha

me: did who you wanted to win win american idol

2:07 PM raymi: that wasnt english

me: you dont speak french all of a sudden? i thought you were canadian.

2:08 PM raymi: i meant
oh nevermind
i didnt see who won was it the grey head guy

me: yes
why dont you watch Lost either

raymi: HE WON!
I LOVE HIM
oh cos i dont
2:09 PM i have never seen an episode of sopranos

me: i cant believe im telling you this almost a week later

raymi: i like huff tho
well sorry

me: prince played, it was killer
why dont you watch more tv, is toronto really that fascinating?

2:10 PM raymi: prince is too gay for me. i saw him and i turned it off.
oh i watch othe rstuff like movies and i play video games
and i write stories

2:11 PM me: baby ive seen the gay shit that you put on your blog. there is Nothing too gay for you.

speaking of which. lets come out with books soon
i started writing one yesterday

2:12 PM raymi: im writing one
i started a month ago

me: write something every day for 100 days
good you need a head start
youre a girl

raymi: i dont put gay things on my blog my blog is awesome
aha
whats yer book

me: your blog is awesome despite the gayshit
its a novel autobiography
mostly real but fake parts when i slow down

raymi: tell me one gay thing on it
2:13 PM and maybe i put gay things on it if i put gay things on it maybe i put them there for a reason

me: i trust your reasons
no one has hyped your blog more than i

raymi: thats true
but what was gay?

2:15 PM me: didnt you have a guy getting blown by another guy next to a tree?
last time i checked that was borderline gay.

raymi: well that’s FUNNY!

me: i never said it wasnt funny.

2:17 PM raymi: excellent
2:18 PM me: oki guess that does it for this interview
raymi: i wonder what i will eat tonite
aw
xoxoxoxoxoxooooooooooooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooooooooooooxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxx

me: ok blow fil for us

raymi: ew
haha
hey wait

me: yes baby?

raymi: what did the 1 say to the 11

2:19 PM me: ahhhh idont know

raymi: who’s your friend?
also what did the 0 say to the 8 ?
NICE BELT

me: ahahahaha
later raymi!!

science blog + flagrant should write about teen boy syndrome + xTx + raymi

hot chick was on me last night, i was drunk

i didn’t know how she got there. if there was a web cam in my house maybe you people could see that lots of times things just happen to me. i have very little control over the circumstances.

life is fuzzy. things fade in and out. my legitimate kids will never have to worry about tv reception, but it’s like that sometimes. flashes like a strobe light.

bowling. riding. drinking. smoking. church members. bicycles. back door. phone ringing. groceries still on the floor. knock at the door. phone ringing. ice cream. soda. phone still ringing. pee. door bell rings. take off shirt. take off shorts. take off shoes. oops. cell phone rings. turn on computer.

people know i don’t open my door at night still they try to trick me with fancy knocks. heres the secret knock to get me to open the door: don’t knock. don’t ring the bell either. don’t call the phone, don’t call the cell phone. get me on instant messenger or write an email.

better yet, write about me on your blog.

blonde girl wrote about me on her secret blog. then she instant messaged my ass. phone rang. unplugged the phone.

she said she wanted me to call her and talk dirty. i said i just unplugged the phone.

she said she wanted to come over just to sleep.

i said we’re not just going to sleep.

then she said things that are the right things to say to a drunken man who had just bowled a 95 and was served three shots of 151. she said i was beautiful. she said that no one touched her like i did. i asked, with my hands? she said with your hands with your mouth with your words with your thoughts.

i told her all i had were dirty thoughts and she said sexy isnt dirty then she said that i taught her that. then i said i was going to bed. then she said she was coming over to leave the gate open.

went to bed. let the gate open. fell asleep. woke up. is someone trying to kill me. kill me then. fell back asleep. who’s saying my name. who’s whispering my name. who’s playing with my chest hair. who’s telling me i have gray chest hairs. three of them. four of them.

who’s telling me they don’t care if i don’t wake up. that they know how to wake up.

who’s awake.

originally posted, may 30, 2003

so guess whose summer vacation just suddenly arrived?

ice cream man coachella mine.

hi tony.

hi vacation?

i didnt think i was going to have a summer vacation, and ive gotta say, i was a little jealous of a lot of bloggers out there who were all pumped that their finals were over or they were graduating, and that they were going to laze into trying to find a little job to get their parents off their back, but mostly work on hitting the sand surf and suntan oil.

why is it that may has found me unemployed two years in a row now?

because the Lord loves me? lets pretend that thats why.

who knows, its probably true.

mid october i started working at buzznet. immediately i was sent to nyc to attend the BlogOn conference with mc brown. we threw our first east coast Buzznet meetup party at Lolita in chinatown. ironically i was abducted by a couple of lolitas right after meeting jamie and his girl, and several other manhattanites, but i managed to escape in the morning. i also hung with AJ who i hadnt seen in quite a while, scott and tons of friends, hung with amy, met jeff jarvis, met my book agent, and even ate with anne ferris. and saw the daily show, thanks to jason ross.

as soon as we got back to LA we had a Los Angeles Buzznet meetup back when the office was sort of still a loft. i met so many buzznetters who i’d always admired, but never met. plus a lot of the girls from my old job at look-look showed up and i had missed them so that was killer.

that next week one of buzznet’s biggest bands was playing at the wiltern. fall out boy. they were playing with panic! at the disco and motion city soundtrack. so i was sent down there to pass out flyers about buzznet and take pics of the kids in line. the kids were wonderful and now panic! is a top 40 band. i took over 100 pics.

i would have gone to the show but i had to run over to Tower on Sunset to take a bunch of pics of Tsar doing an instore. then i ate a burrito and hustled back to the strip to take a bunch more pics of tsar who rocked the roxy.

a few weeks later i was flown to vancouver, bc, canada where we had our first canadian buzznet meetup. i hung out with matt good and took tons of pics and from the best ones i made this photo essay. i met so many cool canadians it was ridiculous. i was treated like the queen. id be back.

juliette lewisi got back to LA in enough time to take over 100 pictures at the Doo Dah parade. and that night i went to see Juliette Lewis and the Licks play with Tsar. i took hella pics including that crazy one of juliette on the right, who i adore. tsar ruled too, fyi.

a week later i flew to chicago and for a thanksgiving Chicago Buzznet Meetup. among others i got to meet jessica and erin who partied with me and bob all night. as in All night. so fun. hi kids from oswego. hi brian and byron. the best part of the meetup was it was in the shadows of wrigley field. so rad.

the first week of december found me at the virgin at hollywood and highland for an inxs in-store. inxs was working with buzznet at the time so i got to take a bunch of pics for them for inxs.com and buzznet. it was an honor.

a few days later i shot a ton of pics of tsar at spaceland where they were just named one of the top bands in los angeles by the LA Weekly. my highlight was getting a half dozen pics of poison guitarist cc deville with rocket and tsar.

my mind is fuzzy but i think somewhere in december i helped buzznet have their biggest hit day ever, biggest hit week, and biggest day of signups. we all hugged each other and it was decided that i was the man, because i had used the guidelines given to me from the book buzzmarketing to create attention and news to our site.

to celebrate i drove up to san francisco where i hung out again with jessica and many other cool kids where we sang karaoke. by we i dont mean me. then i drove up through northern california to umpqua oregon and celebrated Christmas in Eugene. i pretty much worked every day of this so called vacation. not because i had to but because i wanted to. i loved doing what i was doing.

after Christmas i drove up through some rainbows to tacoma and actually sang karaoke with the pants who is far more beautiful in real life. the next day i drove through seattle to take pics of kurt kobains old neighborhood and his old house.

made it to vancouver again, had sushi with mr good again. turned around the next day, drove through oregon and tried to go down the 1 but there was super flooding happening. i saw a dead cow in an overflooded river. it was so sad. got stuck in southern oregon. worked from the motel. got up in the morning and took lots of pics.

got home on new years day and took pics of the rain coming down on the rose parade.

in the middle of january koganuts from virgin megastore started inviting me and buzznet to some of their secret shows. the first one was with giant drag. i took pics. i wasnt very good with the camera that we had bought. but i was there. i did what i could. a week later we were invited to the Coachella The Movie premiere. i took a bunch of pics there on the red carpet including my hero the cobrasnake.

near the end of the month i was on a date with a super hot chick when heather graham showed up to have her birthday party there. i took this picture which got linked by defamer. heather’s way hotter than that but we had both been drinking for many hours at that point. me, i had been drinking for 6 hours by then. of course cobrasnake was there.

a few weeks later my true love Chris moved off to africa. i said let me take some pics. she said no. i said baby i work for a photo sharing community, i sorta have to. plus your cans look great in that shirt, i mean your eyes are so beautiful. she sneered and almost smiled. then she smiled. then she almost cried.

a few days after that, this is february by the way, i was sent to Amsterdam by the dutch government. i figured this would be a good time to have our first european buzznet meet up. i got to meet bicyclemark, the dude from americablog, justagirl and tons of other cool kids. it was cold but i took shittons of pics and even found some pics to put on buzznet that got us tens of thousands of hits. i know it may have looked like a vacation but i worked and produced and got buzznet some great attention. justagirl even got to hear me vomit. lucky babe.

blogging while black sxswtwo weeks after i returned i was being sent to Austin Texas for SXSW. i got to meet leah for the first time which was a thrill because we’d been reading each other since she was 15. i got to speak on two panels. i met sooooo many cool people it was retarded. i got interviewed a bunch. and me and marc saw tons of bands and took tons of pics and video. in fact almost every night i was at the red bull house, of which we were co-sponsors and we were mentioned the usa today blog pop candy.

i worked and partied every night till 3am almost every single night. asher was great, bunny was great, the pants, ev and robert, marc canter, dan and sara, the fajita prince, dooce and jon, halley and scoble – they were all killer. i even got to take a few hundred pics of one of our most popular Buzznet band, my chemical romance. far more pics of them than anyone on the web. plus i was blogging on the buzznet blog almost every day. oh and we got to hang with the texas roller girls, of whom i took buckets of pics.

despite all the hits i generated for buzznet, or all the kickass people i met, or attention i brought to them, probably my proudest moment were those ten days that we covered sxsw interactive and music. no other outlet covered it every day, took tons of pics, took tons of video, and wrote about it every damn day. not pitchfork, not mtv, not anyone. i was there even after it was over to see how the locals rocked. the best bands of the event? the bellrays, honkey, and the go! team.

it was there that i got sick and didnt recover until this week. exhaustion? burn-out? stress? who knows. all i do know is i got a day off when i returned and i was back at it the day after that and i wanted to be at it. i loved what we had done and coachella was right around the corner.

when i got home i took pics of Hard-Fi at the virgin private show thing. they were rad.

the next week i found myself in toronto slash waterloo for a one night only toronto buzznet meet up. i was there for 24 hours. just enough time to see toronto for the first time, catch a matt good show, and go to a strip club with pitt and chad and mikey and fil and raymi and a few others. i also got to meet the outlaw and several others who pulled me aside at the show to introduce themselves. oh canada, thanks for making me feel like a star. oh we also saw a baseball game at the dome. yes all of this in 24 hours. and we went to tim hortons.

every day for the month of april i wrote at least one pre-write about coachella in the buzznet coachella blog, i even asked fellow bloggers to run a free blogad to it and 30 of you were nice enough to do so, and then at the end of april we were there at coachella. i even blogged about that. some of the posts were silly, but the point was to do just like how we did SXSW – provide the best coverage BY FAR of any other outlet in the world. pre-writes, photos, videos, and post coverage.

buzznet was the official photosharing community for the fest. i got to do so many things but mostly i took pics and helped others upload their pictures onto buzznet. sometimes for the first time ever. it was hot. and at the end of the two day fest we had collected and uploaded nearly Four Thousand Photos. i think we had done our job.

coachella 2015oh and we got 128 videos, including some silly interviews i conducted with people who were camping out in the tents, the security chief, and a tour of the campground, among others.

madonna, matisyahu, kanye west, wolfmother, the yeah yeah yeahs, and cat power were my favorite bands that weekend. but the best part was working with my coworkers at buzznet: marc, lizy, mark, bree, steve, bree’s boyfriend and marks drummer. and the good people at coachella and the at&t blue room who both stoked us. there is nothing more enjoyable to me than to work with a great team of people who just work and get the job done. to me its all about results and the results of that gig mostly have to go to marc and the content team. flickr would have loved to have had our spot but coachella loves buzznet, and should.

still on the ride home i pulled over and barfed and told lizy that it was because i had a bad feeling that our results wouldnt be met with the love that it should. and sometimes being right will make you sick to your stomach.

when we got back we were mentioned in the usa today, defamer linked it, laist linked to it.

right after coachella i was tasked to start finding great content for a new project buzznet is slowly unveiling called big hombre, a blog of sorts for young men in the vein of maxim or fhm, mostly about hot babes, funny videos, and street fights and stuff. every day i was supposed to find a certain amount of content, write funny headlines, and post them. among other things that i did, when i had extra time i started giving people photography assignments in our forums. one forum discussion got over 500 posts in a few days. pretty much a record that i doubt will be broken any time soon.

all in all i was responsible for at least 13 million page views to buzznet in the seven and a half months that i was there. no one user had ever attracted more than 2.5 million hits other than the pretty boy bass player of the top 40 band fall out boy. i had one user account that got 9.5 million hits, another which is at 2.3 million, and my personal account went over a million hits just a few weeks ago, meaning not only had i been the only person to ever have two accounts to ever get over 2 million, but the only one to ever have three go over a million.

and to be honest, before i showed up no one even thought that anyone could get a million that quick, but one of my accounts did more than that in a week.

buzznet stickeri took over 4,000 pictures and posted them, i wrote over 100 blog entries, i sent out over 50,000 messages to our users, and in seven months i hosted seven buzznet meetups in three different countries, most of the time at no cost to the company. i think i was a pretty decent community manager.

unfortunately not everyone saw it that way. which is why tonight im unemployed.

so my plan going forward is to try a few things. i want to send my resume to a few companies, but i cant see them saying yes. i mean the cubs will probably say, dude we already have a black manager and he sucks.

then i will probably get scared and compile a new collection of better-than-average busblog posts like what i did in How To Blog, and maybe that will sustain me for the summer, but anyone who flowed to my ipod fund knows i suck at mailing shit. in fact any one who didnt get what was promised should email me. i now have time to make good on your generosity.

and then come the fall i’ll probably just start selling my ass on santa monica blvd while wearing a dress and a blonde wig at the del taco.

whatever i do, i think im gonna take a few days off from the busblog this weekend. in two years ive done on here what i did at buzznet, pretty much work every day. even when i wasnt asked to, even when nobody cared. have i even taken two days off from this blog in three years? i dont think so.

some people like to jump into things full force. im one of those weirdos. some people get freaked out by that energy. me, my best times have been when ive given 100% on things i really know about. i knew how to be successful at buzznet. that is, i knew how to make buzznet more successful. maybe i will have a shot at making some other company more successful. or maybe i will have to just try to do something myself.

right now i have no idea whats next. none. and thats not the best feeling. i know it could be, but i dont have a bunch of cash to sit on. ive gotta figure something out soon. sux. although this might be a good time to head to the desert and talk to the spirits. or to isla vista and talk to the bikini team. or to vegas and talk to the elvises. or i could sell everything in this junky house and see what it gets. and then write an autobiography and start a new slate.

i do know that you guys will be here, and that is a blessing that not too many people have, and for that im so grateful you have no idea.

joe, it was nice sitting next to you.

prince


staples center
los angeles
5/26/04

dearly beloved,

if u ever want 2 get through this thing called life, make sure u go 2 a prince show at least once.

and if you go once, you’ll be back.

prince popped up through the center of his stage last night at the sold-out staples center dressed in white. pure of any sin. and the definition of sexy.

an x marked the spot on the center of the arena. his gold microphone awaited him. his 8 peice band including horn section featuring james brown’s legendary sax man maceo parker and blonde bombshell candy dulfer waited for him. and the screaming LA crowd who were amazingly on-time waited for him on this, the second night of an unprecidented five-night stand of los angeles’s premier concert and sports venue.

home of the lakers, the grammys, the kings, and last night, of prince.

he owned it. he rocked it. he was it.

as a witness of hundreds of concerts, ive seen the best: the stones, springsteen, u2, miles davis, the jackson 5, eric clapton, van halen, tom waits, elvis costello, tsar, jane’s addiction, and the beastie boys. but never have i seen one man seemingly never make a mistake, a wasted motion, or spin and twirl and pirrorette and be equal parts show-off and showman like that freaky little dude from minnesota.

and the fucker did it in heels.

he played his guitar like a kid would play a broomstick. it was an air guitar to him.

a total maestro he would throw his hand down and the drummer would accent the beat and stop.

a master controller he would tell the lighting man to bring up the lights and bring them down and the lights went up or down immediately.

when he grew tired of his guitar a well-dressed man would come out and take it from him and he pranced over to a couch on the stage and his keyboard player gave him a pillow for his feet and a blanket.

then he played bass. then he played bass with the bass player.

then he danced.

fuck did he dance.

all while throwing out classic r&b numbers like chinese stars, all written, produced, and performed by himself throughout the years.

upon entering the show the ushers handed out free copies of his new cd, musicology and one guy said to his buddy, “mick jagger never gave me anything for free.”

and as much as i love mick, mick never played the guitar or wrote these sorts of songs, alone, or this sexy, or with this much funk.

what we got to be a part of last night kept us on our feet dancing for over two hours, and when he concluded with an extended encore of the title track of his best known album, purple rain no one wanted to leave.

except for the yuppies who wanted to somehow “beat” traffic. which, sadly was half the arena.

but whatever, prince had pummelled them. he had pummelled all of us.

if elvis had actually known a thing about showmanship and songwriting and guitar playing and dancing, the king would have been prince.

in my 110 years, this was the best arena concert ive ever seen.

i smiled the entire time.

zanti misfit + simpleton + xero 79

at the bottom of one of those pictures below, on buzznet,

is a caption that says “all of these nexus men now have children except tony”, and karisa asked me if i was upset about that, and i can honestly say hell to the no.

i dont even want a dog right now. shit, this blog is enough responsibility for me and i would love to have an intern plagarize me in the future. remember when the renaissance artists used to have their “students” do their shit for them? ahhh, those were the days.

thankfully i have all those reruns i can put up here when work gets too busy or the phone keeps ringing, or the girlies start blowing up the pager and the web cam.

its not that i dont love kids, i do. its not that i dont love the blog, i do. its just that theres a time and a place for everything. and right now its time for pretty much all of my friends to have kids and its time for me to start reaping the rewards of this blog.

last night a lovely young lass wanted to show me her uniform on the web cam. always one to analyze the amazing curves of my readers, i took her up on her offer.

europe, where have you been all my life?

now if i had a child, how could i have explained how daddy had his hand down his shorts while in the computer room? i mean seriously. and what would wifey say?

i mean it was hard enough to explain to the chickey that what she was doing was driving me crazy and i had to do what was natural. fortunately she not only understood but asked me if i would lower the angle of the cam so she could see what i was doing down there.

now what i find fascinating is this girl – IS A VIRGIN LIKE EVERY GIRL IVE RUN ACROSS LATELY – but was super into it. obviously not ho-ey, or slutty, and in a very cute way shy about things. she kept looking around to see if her sister would open the door but thankfully that didnt happen until the end.

and i kept thinking to myself – “this girl can see your stupid face, your hairy fat belly, and your stupid clothes… your cam isnt forgiving, your closet is a mess. and shes got that huge smile on her face. how can this be?”

and the only answer is its because of blogging. the biggest blessing of my life since the Nexus.

for fun i put a wooden spoon in my shorts and played with it so that it looked like it was my schween. i was all, mind if i take out my rock hard wood? her eyes got huge. and she typed in “go for it” and looked at the door for her sister.

i had both hands on the spoon so she couldnt see it. every now and then the head of the spoon poked out and her mouth gaped. i threw my head back and rubbed the spoon furisiously. as she was glued to her screen.

eventually i showed her the spoon and she laughed.

again, i couldnt have done that with kids bumping into me on their trikes.

well maybe I could, but i doubt my wife would like it. so yes, im very happy for my friends, and my sister, and everyone with their kids. and im also happy that i can stay up late and do the things that i like doing best. making hot girls’ jaw drop.

a few years ago

yesterday i admitted meeting miss spain universe

i first met miss spain universe, mar’a jesos ruiz garz-n, in a topless tapas joint in madrid in january 2000.

she didnt know the place was a topless tapas establishment either, but we both took off our shirts and cozied up to the bar.

i was there with two dozen of my closest friends to see rock group tsar.

there being spain, not the topless tapas place.

mar’a asked me if i was americano

i said, si.

she asked me if i liked my tapas

i said, si.

she asked me if i liked her cunt-

then she coughed

country

and i said

si.

she asked me if i knew more spanish than just yes and no and i said

si.

she asked me what other words i knew.

i said, burrito, taco, guacamole…

she said, we dont have those things here.

i said, si.

so we simply slowdanced to the spanish guitars and i sang her a little song that i made up there on the spot.

i sang

spanish girl
in all the world
i want a spanish girl

she doesnt know
how much i weigh in pounds
she doesnt care
that im 108, 108 years oooooold
oooooh my spanish girl.

she sighed and looked at me with eyes of a girl falling madly in love
as the twinkle lights of the disco ball rained possibilities

and the lines began to form outside the dunkin’ donuts across the pallazo.

she said, i know how much pounds you weigh.

i said, what about the metric system.

she said, yes, but i know.

i said, ah.

she said, si.

and i smiled.

and i tilted my head to the exito

and she said si.

and we left into the madrid night forgetting our shirts

and not giving a muchas gracias.

art waif + the detox + sugarbaybe + top pic of amy collins