all of the hbo dramedy big love and im always up for a dare.

it is a dark and creepy show. my girlfriend chloe sivengy is so unlikeable its bizarre. hopefully we will see her express a few nice sides. but i doubt it. i dont know why im rooting for this dude, hes so bland and undeserving of his two decent wives.

and where are the orgies? im totally serious, why have a bunch of wives if youre still gonna stay uptight about sex? present to me a television series when the characters have something to teach me.

which is why harry dean stanton steals every scene. the show should be about him. hes got the band the girls and the money. hes got a wife whos younger than any of bill paxtons wives. and he rides around in a hummer.

BellSouth officials denied Friday that they had blocked consumer sites MySpace and YouTube, although customers in Florida and Tennessee said that they were unable to access them. – pc magazine

in my day you had to walk in the woods if you wanted to pictures of hot chicks. the kids have everything these days. i hate them.

you know how often mike royko wrote in a week? five times.

and he had a lot of one sentence paragraphs

if you know what i mean.

yes but those were the days when the paper cost a dime and a movie cost a dollar and everywehre in chicago and the suburbs was area code 312.

wouldnt it be just my luck if bell south was legally allowed to block myspace and youtube, and a bunch of other carriers followed suit, and buzznet exploded from people trying to do their thing?

actually that would make me very happy if it happened. especially that way.

today is lianas last day at look look.

a year ago today karisa didnt work where she works now, chris lived in america, my other buddy chris had his own business still, welch was at reason

everything changes baby thats a fact
but maybe everything that dies some day come back
put your makeup on, fix your hair up pretty
and meet me tonight in atlantic city

cnn video via panasonicyouth + the daily peep + full atlantic city lyrics which i dont completely agree with

q. should we turf our buzznet swag now???

– pitt

a. if i had a blog as cool as yours general pitt, and if i was tired of something i wouldnt turf anything. id auction it off for beaucoup delores.

q. your vacation should mention that a canadian team will win the stanley cup.

– PatZ

a. i should mention that im rooting fo the canadian team because there has been nothing better than to see the fireworks, shopping carts, and bosoms on the blue mile.

north of isla vista that is.

q. what did i just watch?

– brandon pennington

a. what you saw was proof that the kids are alright. those two young ladies as well as the children on wonder showzen (video, above) make me want to reproduce or better yet adopt, but only the funny ones.

one of the girls was singing a backstreet boys song while the other screamed fire.

ive never been that excellent in any of my 113 years of life, god bless their souls.

q. Tony when are you mailing me your dirty socks? I gave you my address a week ago!

– Nikki P.

a. i love these ploys for my old socks. good try.

however it is nice to see that leck got my old keyboard.

q. Im still annoyed that technorati includes myspace as “blogs”. Just cause they put the heading “blog” on it.. don’t mean its a blog. fucking myspace.

– bicyclemark

a. i too was pretty surprised when i saw myspace blogs being indexed in technorati. but as you can see from these entries, they possess a certain je nais say kwah.

you know one result ive ever seen on technorati? one from a yahoo 360 page.

whos the biggest yahoo 360 blogger?

no, i say allow the myspace bloggers. especially jenna.

the original version of ok go’s “a million ways”

or the high school boy version on pasta night?

nelly furtado sings crazy + vince vaughn is freakishly tall + but nobody is better than mariah

and i think i know. i think he would go to hollywood park.

tomorrows thursday and i was thinking about going to san diego and taking danielle out for dinner and a movie. then maybe escape to mexico on friday to take some pictures for you.

then spend the night alone out there in that wilderness. no cheerleaders, no computer, no tivo. just a few beers. not too many.

i used to rent a room from a very nice lady. bukowski would have done that. and she would go to tijuana once a month to volunteer at a church down there. its probably a good idea to donate something to them on the way down. and hotels are so easy, anything with a jacuzzi in the room.

danielle was an angel in my life during a very tough time when i was at e! i was super paranoid that i was going to get canned any minute, and then danielle got hired and this chick who sat next to her came over to my desk and was all youre going to love danielle and i was all wha and we met twenty minutes later and we went to get bagels and had lunch almost every day and had several photo shoots along the way.

now she lives in san diego. a town that gets no love from the busblog.

not only did it suck my first girlfriend ever into its mighty vortex but it was the scene of the crime known as the 1984 national league playoffs of which we’ve already said too much.

but i miss danielle and i want to see her and today i was so bored i went to the burbank target and walked around and realized i spent a whopping eight dollars. one thing i learned about the target in the middle of the day – no ones in a damn rush. everythings free and easy.

today i wrote a little something over at thought mechanics about dan akyroyd putting out a dvd about ufos and how he believes in them.

i got the idea from 1)going to the frys in burbank today, and 2)reading sploid

the burbank frys of course is the huge electronics store that looks like its been invaded by aliens.

sploid is the only blog i know of that gets as many hits as it does inspite/despite their love of all things ufoish.

why not. everyone was there and it was wilder than the last time.

its funny, as great as last night was, i really dont feel like rehashing it.

but i will try.

because you had to put up with that naked guy all day.

naked guy was even at the party. he was clothed and equipped with a smoking hot girlfriend. we were all drunk so i asked him all the questions people were too shy to ask.

have you ever been naked on stage before?

no.

who called the police on you in pittsburgh?

the hotel desk chick.

was she old?

no she was young.

did you see those gay guys totally loving your nudity?

yes!

did that freak you out at all?

no!

then i poured him some absinthe and decided that he was an ok guy.

he is an ok guy.

people lost their keys and their cellphones. i found some barrettes on the floor this morning. i had a terrible hangover. it took most of the day to recover.

im still recovering and now its bedtime.

all i have to say is im a lucky man and i have some great friends and some of my friends play in the best band in america, and that includes both north and south america.

and i have some great neighbors who put up with a much louder party than the other week.

and i live a blessed life, which i dont deserve, but i totally appreciate.

and the cubs totally won after 15 innings thanks to sammy sosa who is back

and now the cubs are unstoppable.

a photo essay of the event

me: ok check it
i saw a 12 pack of name brand condoms aat the 99 cents store
durex i think
ribbed for her pleasure
do ladies really get pleasure from those things
ps your answer will go on my blog

Karisa: haha- no, they don’t.
at least i never felt a difference
it all feels like latex to me!

me: its just enough to stare in the eyes of your lover as hes about to take you?
everything else is just butterflies and cupcakes?

Karisa: hahah- not maybe since i was 18

me: question two, should a man buy his condoms at the ninety nine cents store – even if its a name brand manufacturer like durex.

Karisa: well-
sure.
i’ve gotten them off of ebay
if they aren’t expired
don’t appear tampered-with
99 cent store is cheap
but they are large enough where they can be sued for selling defective materials
i don’t know if it is the same rule that applies to ‘salon hair products’- which are only guaranteed when sold in a salon
but i doubt that is the case

me: final question
condom ettiquette

some chicks dont like it when you flush the condom down their precious toilet
and some dont like it in toilet paper in their waste basket
what are your thoughts?

Karisa: well i don’t think you should flush it-
that isn’t good for the septic system
but it depends on their situation, i guess
single?
involved and you shouldn’t be there?? [wink]

me: cough… magnum

Karisa: as long as it is in the garbage, wrapped, it is fine

me: thank you so much for your advice
xoxoxox

Karisa: hahah- it is hardly advice [wink]
but your welcome

superhero princess + pauly + colin + tankboy + ashley

and i dont really like limiting speech anyway, but thank you all for your nice words on my summer vacation post.

i have a good friend who can see into the future. the bible says that its cheating if you go to a medium, but that doesnt mean that im not sometimes tempted. hell, im all the time tempted.

the only thing i would ask her is how long will this summer vacation last for. that way i would know whether to go on an excellent road trip or just go to vegas for the weekend and meet japanese girls.

i dont think im reading enough bukowski. if theres one thing that the master has taught us is youre going to get fired. or better yet, youre going to be unemployed a bunch. that you should just go with the flow.

no one ever said everythings gonna work out.

even in the bible moses never made it to the promised land.

when i wrote down the things i did at buzznet i did it for a few reasons. the first was to remind myself because i have a terrible memory.

the second was to remind myself of things that can happen if i get out of the house. deep down im terribly shy and i enjoy the comfort of a small dark house high speed internet directv and one or two cheerleaders. not only going to parties but hosting parties is pretty much out of my comfort zone. and airplane travel is something that i’ll leave to the businessmen and people who roll around their carryon.

and the third reason was remind myself to stay in jobs where i can get paid to do the things that i love.

today i dropped off the laptop and camera and it was all smiles and handshakes. and yes i do plan on continuing to use their wide array of products. i was in before i worked there, id be silly to stop after taking some of their money. if you recall bill veeck worked one summer for the cubs and it was his idea to plant the ivy out there. later he would end up owning the white sox for many years. but if you remember when he retired youd see him out int he bleachers at wrigley with his shirt off, his wooden leg glimmering in the sun, and his cup of beer beside him.

its 11am and im back in my pajamas as acdc is on. for those about to rock. when i got home there was a big box at my front door. what was in the box? a little bong was in it. there was a note of encouragement and it was signed “the fans”. next to the box was the biggest baggie ziplock ive ever seen tucked into a manilla envelope. inside ziplock it was buldging full of what the kids call weed.

unfortunately im straight edge now. and its not even like that shit would work on me anymore, but i do appreciate the gesture. and someone worthy might come by needing something like that.

what i need is exactly what im getting, good weather, good music, a healthy stream of pornography thank you ladies, and of course good health.

yesterday i went to the doctor for my check up after he cured me. he told me that i had normal blood pressure, no diseases, and low cholestorol. the first person i thought of was karisa because she knows exactly the sort of drive-thru diet that i have and she is constantly on my ass about my cholestorol and i called her as soon as i left him and i was all ha ha! the doc says some people just process it better than others. but i told him i was going to start playing basketball again which is true. compton high wednesday nights bitches.

which brings me back to the nudes. who are you people? i love you! that is all.

today will consist of taking a good inventory of my fantasy baseball teams, a visit to frys electronics to return some defective merchandise – surprise, a rental of xmen 2 so i can see xmen 3, avoiding writing a book, avoiding reading a book, actually re-reading Cruddy which i highly recommend, ten sit ups, a very long shower.

and avoidence of filling up my tank because full tanks could lead to very long road trips without the proper house sitter laundry mix cd creation impromptu ridiculousness.

and then i wouldnt be around for when flagrant formally asks me to be her private bodyguard. which of course would consist of me hiring an actual bodyguard at half my rate and being her chauffer with the profits.

you people laugh but if britney spears hasnt taught you anything shes taught you the importance of a good chauffer.

so to review, read bukowski, read the bible, read veeck as in wreck, read cruddy and learn from britney. peaceout. ps i talked to chris in africa on saturday and she was all hollywood where you at. i was all hey have you taught those people the macarena yet? and she laughed and said no. and i was all good let me teach it to them. and she was all be my guest and laughed and laughed.

listen to tsar

flagrant disregard + her roadtrip pics + ann e ferris + raspberry at sasquatch

and just posting videos with a little clarifying text to go along with it.

an extended caption of sorts.

but i dont think you people would let me get away with that.

in 1986 the replacements were in a difficult situation.

they had just signed with Sire Records, a division of Warner Bros who had seen great success with acts like madonna, talking heads, and depeche mode. unfortunately on Let It Be, their last record at the independent minnesotan lable Twin/Tone, the Mats had recorded a beautiful mostly-instrumental track called “Seen Your Video” which ends “seen your video/it’s phony rock n roll/we dont wanna know/we dont wanna know”…

the final lyrics, it is assumed come at the end of the tune when MTV would show the band’s name and album title, etc.

the replacements had never released a video for any of thier singles, up until that point, complaining among other concerns – idealistic and otherwise – that they were too ugly to be in a video.

but most of the time they simply said that videos were lame and took away from the personal and unique experience that each person has with music.

1986 found the Replacements on basically a major label and homie didnt play that no-video hippie bullshit. but the replacements were these quasi punk quasi godfathers and forefathers of grunge. they couldnt just release a video as soon as signing to sire.

and yet they had to. the label had signed them in order to sell records and in the 80s everyone had a video in hopes of it getting on mtv.

so the replacements gave in and in doing so made the greatest video of all time.

a still camera, a throbbing speaker, an unidentified hand and cigarette, and in the end, violence. as a record spins.

in black n white.

far too good for mtv who raved about it on 120 minutes and even on the headbanger’s ball, but sometimes its just too bad if youre too good and Tim never took off despite being one of the greatest records of the 80s, and what some consider the Replacements’ best ever. like me.

yesterday a topless college girl in washington performed a very nice reworking of the classic on whats gotta be near its 20-year anniversary.

“bastards of young” (westerberg)

God, what a mess, on the ladder of success
Where you take one step and miss the whole first rung

Dreams unfulfilled, graduate unskilled

And Pete’s pickin’ cotton and waitin’ to be forgotten

We are the sons of no one, bastards of young
We are the sons of no one, bastards of young
The daughters and the sons…

Clean your baby womb, trash that baby boom
Elvis in the ground, there’ll ain’t no beer tonight
Income tax deduction, what a hell of a function
And Pete’s pickin’ cotton and waitin’ to be forgotten

We are the sons of no one, bastards of young
We are the sons of no one, bastards of young
The daughters and the sons…

Willingness to claim us,
ya got no word to name us

The ones who love us best are the ones we’ll lay to rest
And visit their graves on holidays at best

The ones who love us least are the ones we’ll die to please
If it’s any consolation, I don’t begin to understand them

We are the sons of no one, bastards of young
We are the sons of no one, bastards of young

The daughters and the sons
Young…

take a shower take a shower take a shower

i believe the young lady was almost one years old when the LP was released.

larger version of the pants video + westerberg, skyway acoustic + replacements live 1981 customer