if you dont, keep an eye to the haps across the bridge in new york this week as the Pajamas Media trainwreck is headed to the big apple and is poised to make a big… uh… splash.

heres some of the things theyve got going against them that theyve recently failed to address:

1. Judith Miller will be giving their keynote address. Yes that Judith Miller. Presumably because Jayson Blair and Armstrong Williams were busy, and Jeff Gannon was… ahem… tied up. [rimshot]

2. When even midwesterners like Ann Althouse take a pass while calling PM revenue scheme “skimpy compared to Blogads” you’re either holding out on the B-list (your base) or you’re off on a really bad foot. Althouse is one of Glenn Reynolds’ favorite people to link to and if the Instapundit can’t convince his bff to sign up with him there must really be some seriously small margins in the Pajama game.

3. 60+ Conservatives and 2 Liberals does not make, as PJ co-founder Roger Simon describes, “the best of mainstream media and best of blog media”. It makes for a Fox News on the web. And just like Fox News, if Pajamas Media doesnt identify itself for what it is: overwhelmingly right-wing it will be held in just as much regard as The O’Reilly Factor and the rest of those Fair & Balanced shows.

4. The Little Green Footballs problem. Not everyone has met Charles Johnson, the creator of LGF, nor do they know him as a long haired mellow, jazz and rock musician who comes across more like a hippy than anything else. Just the opposite is true on the blogosphere as most who read LGF consider the site hateful, racist, reactionary, and foolish. Like O’Reilly, that hasn’t hurt LGF’s popularity, but it might hurt the type of advertising that comes into the Pajamas Media kitty. Speaking of which, have you seen the ads on LGF? Neither has Charles. Similarily have you seen LGF in the Technorati Top 100? Us either. Despite admitting that LGF has close to 4,000 sites that link to it, Technorati apparently refuses to put the controversial blog in it’s Top 100. Talk about a hot potato.

5. The Luke Ford problem. Long-time journalist and Internet pioneer, Luke Ford, was hired and then let go once Pajamas Media found out that Luke was back interviewing porn stars. Apparently you can run LGF but you can’t run lukeisback.com but thats not the real problem. The real problem is when LGFs scrubs the post welcoming Luke in shame/embarrassment, and when nobody at Pajamas MEDIA wants to talk about it, particularily PJ contributor and Ford’s best friend Cathy Seipp who chose to take the Fifth. “I have nothing to say about my friends at Pajamas Media first welcoming, then dropping, my friend Luke Ford.”

6. The New York Office problem. According to their own press release, PM’s office in New York is located at Rockefeller Plaza Center – 7th Floor, 1230 Avenue of the Americas
New York, New York 10020, and their phone number is 212-745-1377. But according to blogger Dennis the Peasant, any time you see someone claiming to be on an entire floor of a Manhattan building, something’s usually fishy. Fishy indeed, he found. Turns out Despite their alleged $3.5 million in funding, the address according to Dennis is a “virtual office” and the phone number isnt PM’s it’s SJ Enterprise who knows nothing about Pajamas Media. Apparently on the interweb, people can factcheck your virtual ass. or something.

Can Republicans not get anything right these days?

Here’s my advice to my fellow bloggers, several of whom will be jetting out to New York:

A. If you plan on being like what good bloggers claim to be – Transparent – show us pictures of your 7th Floor offices. Use Buzznet to host your picture if you like. All you have to do is email your picture to tony.tony.pajamas@buzznet.com and the proof that youre not using a phony baloney cheesy Virtual Office will be seen at tony-pajamas.buzznet.com

B. Fire Judy Miller as your Keynote. Are you kidding me? If you have no problem hiring and firing Mr. Ford, you shouldnt even think twice about doing the same to Miller. Your boy Bush did it with Harriet Miers, you need to do it to Judy. For if you don’t you will never live it down. Let Glenn Reynolds be your keynote. With no offense to everyone else, he’s your biggest star, but more importantly knows how to cover his ass. Or just say fuckit and hire Zell Miller. At least he’s guaranteed to put on a good show.

C. Explain the firing of Ford and address the LGF hate issue. If a roomful of lawywers and writers can’t get it together to spin, I mean educate us on these two concerns then you’re no better than any other mainstream media outlet – youre just newer, dumber, and more chickenshit. Show us all that you’re different.

D. Admit that you’re a Right Wing cadre. Transparency is a good thing. Own who you are. Bask in the glow. Admit the obvious. If you truly want to hire Lefty bloggers to balance things out, provide a list of 30 who you’d be interested in. Or say these are the types of Lefty blogs that we enjoy reading. There are 20 million blogs. If you cant find 30 Lefty bloggers that you can put on a list to truly make you the “best of blogging…” then you should just admit that all you care about is the conservative voice… which there’s nothing wrong with.

E. Pay your writers. The Althouse quote, oddly, is the most embarrassing thing of this list of embarrassments. If all of this hype is to make a few at the top rich(er) on the backs of the rest of the gang, it could be disasterous to everyone involved: the greedy will come across as one of the first scoundrels of the blogosphere, and the victims will end up looking like fools.

Bottoms up!

buzzmachine + the poorman + tell smelly shes cute and will bounce back

starring 50 Cent, Bill Duke, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, and Marc John Jefferies as Young Marcus
Paramount Pictures
directed by Jim Sheridan

there are many benefits of living in hollywood and having a blog.

and being in the xbi.

still. (secretly.)

theres the xray vision, the cool gadgets, the wine women and song.

and of course the black helicopters. mine being, as some of you may know, chopper one.

but the bad news is with all of those things there are rarely any suprises because you know about things before they happen.

in fact one of the xbi shrinks speculated that perhaps i was a stoner for the last 10 years because i wanted to dumb down so life would feel “normal” again, so that mundane things would feel interesting since my reality was so skewed.

false, but good try i told her and whispered nice ruffled pink panties.

she said what?

i said with xbi xrayvision contact lenses nothing is mundane.

but she was partially correct. i like pleasant suprises and there werent very many here in hollywood since it was our job to not only be in touch with the heartbeat of the city but to know what was going to happen before it happened.

which brings us to todays movie.

one of the things the xbi likes to do for its agents is take us to the movies. believe it or not but i dont like going because im an idiot and id rather go with a pretty girl and hold her hand and buy her popcorn and play footsies and giggle through the film all slunk down in the balcony. i dont like going with a bunch of dudes on a film lot in the middle of a sunny day.

but back when i was “working” at Look-Look i was called in midday to screen Fiddy’s new film as a summer treat.

because my bosses knew that we liked surprises they didnt tell us who was starring in the movie, who directed it, or what it was about – which is Exactly the way i like movies.

let me say that i LOVED this film. now we saw it while it was unfinished. two scenes were missing and the ending seemed so horrible that it felt to me that perhaps they were going to clean that up too.

but 50 was good, lil 50 was Great, the director who had done My Left Foot did a wonderful job of making it slightly different than 8 Mile but just as serious.

and you know what, it was a good story.

going into the film i did not like 50 – i thought he was a mumbling ignorant flash in the pan successful only because of Dr. Dre and Em, who didnt deserve to escort Vivica A. anywhere and would be forgotten in hip hop before 2008.

but watching this movie i understood why he spoke that way, where he came from, and what odds he overcame.

yes it has its flaws that probably wont be edited out or fixed, but it was a hell of a movie that anyone who enjoyed Boyz in the Hood or 8 Mile would enjoy, or anyone who doesnt understand hip hop should see because this is American music, when at its best, comes straight from the streets.

and we get to see how crack influenced both drug dealing and music.

now lets talk about the billboard bru-haha. apparently some are not happy with the advertisement of 50 holding a gun to hype his movie.

why not?

its a violent movie about guns violence and gangsta rap.

I see Bruce Willis holding a gun in the poster of Hostage, i see Al Pacino holding a gun in Scarface, i see Arnold Schwarzenegger holding a gun in True Lies

so why cant a brotha have a gun on the poster hyping the film about his violent life?

maybe its because the old adage is true: the only thing more frightening than a man with a gun, is a [black man] with a gun.

but these protesters, just like pretty much every other faker out there, are hiding behind the kids, saying that the billboards promote gang violence and theyre too close to schools.

anyone who watches this film will learn that this film explains that neither drug dealing nor gangs got 50 a movie, a career, or the fame: it was hip-hop. yes theres drugs and violence in here, but its music that saved this Black man. thats the lesson the kids should be taught.

on the busblog scale of 1 to 4 quarters… this film gets 75 cents because of its unbelieveably horrible ending and nonsenseical 10-minute middle passage. otherwise fascinating, riviting, believable, real, and suprising.

ebert gave it a thumbs up and 3 stars + E Online gives it a B + dallas morning news gives it a B

pj media are lying about their nyc office? + seipp has no comment about ford firing + riley dog

or as the canadians, aussies and brits call it Rememberance Day.

i was totally impressed how it’s not really a “day” where you put the old flag up next to the mail box, or get the day off, but in Vancouver, and i suspect, most of Canada, the good people actually think about the horrors of war and give props to the veterans who died for them.

what you do, apparently, is buy a red poppy from a old vet for a buck or two and pin it to your jacket or shirt or cap and it’s like the ribbons that we sometimes wear except not as cheesy.

dare i say, it came across to me as classy.

americans talk alot about supporting the troops but i wonder if they ever feel like sometimes the best way to support the young men and women who volunteer for the service is to *not* send them to every single war that a few men in power usher them off to as living pawns.

for such an intelligent and diverse nation, im often shocked at how simpleminded so many can be, especially when it comes to something as serious and life-changing as war.

what i learned from the Canadians was that even though far fewer of them have perished on the battlefield, that they respect life so much that they really respect those who will give their lives in the name of their nation.

and therefore they respect war so much that they would hesitate from entering into it for foolish reasons.

on this veteran’s day i believe its right to say that i think we are wrong to be in iraq. i feel like the best thing we can do for our soldiers, who we support, is to get them the hell out of there, especially our national guardsmen who should be defending our borders.

i believe that you can support the troops and disagree with certain wars, this one being a foolish one.

and i believe that in a free country, especially in America, it is not only your right to stand up and disagree with the leadership when you have a valid point, but it is your duty as a patriot.

when i was younger i very much wanted to be a pilot in the Air Force. strangely enough it was Bruce Springsteen’s Born in the USA that inspired me to want to protect our country. obviously i had not read the words clearly, so i will print them out now so you can read along to one of the best war anthems around. its semi-anti-war, as its about the dark side of false wars based on fears of an enemy who is not doing us any harm.

but i know that if i had joined the air force and was sent off to a unjust war, i would have hoped that my fellow americans at home would have stood up for me if they had known that my selflessness had been abused by the State.

which is why today i ask virtually that the President withdraw our troops from iraq.

Born down in a dead man’s town
The first kick I took was when I hit the ground
You end up like a dog that’s been beat too much
‘Til you spend half your life just covering up

[chorus:]
Born in the U.S.A. (x5)

I got in a little hometown jam
And so they put a rifle in my hands
Sent me off to Vietnam
To go and kill the yellow man

[chorus]

Come back home to the refinery
Hiring man says “Son if it was up to me…”
I go down to see the V.A. man
He said “Son don’t you understand…”

[chorus]

I had a buddy at Khe Sahn
Fighting off the Viet Cong
They’re still there, he’s all gone
He had a little girl in Saigon
I got a picture of him in her arms

Down in the shadow of the penitentiary
Out by the gas fires of the refinery
I’m ten years down the road
Nowhere to run, ain’t got nowhere to go

I’m a long gone Daddy in the U.S.A.
Born in the U.S.A.
I’m a cool rocking Daddy in the U.S.A.
Born in the U.S.A.

in flanders field + edwin star – war + our president does not support the troops

about blogging. during my trip to new york city we ate green eggs and ham and i had a great idea about a book that would be a best seller and she agreed. it would focus on politcal bloggers.

lets just say i have a million ideas that i aint even rocked yet, and at the time that was a good idea but last night after reading welch’s page, and then dennis the peasant’s page, and then luke ford’s page, and then the lgf page, about how Luke Ford was kicked off the Pajama Media cadre, it made me sick to my stomach.

i know i can come across as a liberal sometimes. but the truth is i voted for the first George Bush, and Reagan. i believe in small government. i believe in capitalism and the right for americans to be as rich as they can. i also believe, somewhat in trickle-down economics – to the point that i think that when people get rich they will, on their own accord, naturally give to the poor and start new businesses and invest in their community.

but this administration isnt the Republican party of Reagan, this is dont-tax and spend, this is the immoral majority, this is the bastardization of the american GOP.

and thats why i rally against it. and i would think that other Republicans would do the same.

however thats not the case. the phenomenom during the W era is to back the party no matter what nonsense they do. be it torture, or going to war over lies, or outting a CIA agent as a form of childish payback, to taking the largest surplus ever and making the largest deficit ever, etc etc.

but because i believe that all parties have the right to their own opinoin i am a registered Independent and i dont knock the individual parties for their point of views, but i do knock the individiuals when they are either 1)corrupt, 2)fucking liars, or 3)not actually representing their party and/or constituants.

for those of you who dont know, Pajamas Media is a collection of mostly right-wing bloggers and writers who, it seems, want to form an answer to the suprisingly successful Huffington Post, which is a collection of mostly left-wing non-bloggers.

each week Charles from Little Green Footballs and the Instapundit announce who has joined the Pajama Media and if you read the comments on LGF they usually say, “oh yeah, hes great” but something weird happened when they announced Luke Ford… one of the commentors recognized him as the Matt Drudge of Porn.

yes its true Luke used to have a very successful web site where he covered the Adult video industry inside and out, so to speak. Ultimately quitting when he became disgusted by the people who run the biz.

Little did I know that he was now back to covering porn on his site lukeisback.com, and apparently Pajama Media didnt know either, but as soon as they found out they took back their decoder ring and kicked him to the curb.

now just like most people, Luke isnt one-dimensional. in fact hes a complicated man. after his exit from the xxx world he found God and converted to Judiasm. however he had a hard time finding a temple who would accept him because of his past. keep in mind, Luke never made any films or starred in any, he simply reported on the industry, and yes, he dated a few of the lovelies… as if you wouldnt.

although in the handful of times that i got to chat with Luke i never really got into the bible with him, i did find him knowledgeable about the Good Book, and sincere in his faith.

but apparently, just like the judgemental Temples, Pajama Media was not interested in a journalist who covered that part of American consumerism in their little clubhouse. even though it’s an industry that’s legal, vibrant, and ever-growing.

proving to all of us who are paying attention, that Pajama Media will accept you if you defend American Terrorism, torture, perjury, outting of CIA agents, deficit spending, lies, traitors, and foul play… but titties on dvds is over the line.

the book that i was going to write was going to be completely objective. allowing several heavy hitters from the left right and center to explain their process of blogging. but at this point, just like abraham who insisted that there were a few decent souls in Sodom, im not sure i could find one just voice on the Right.

so why pay attention to them? why give them ink? why allow them to continue to shrink their circle tighter and tighter, while falling into the stereotype that the GOP is indeed the party of exclusion.

yes i know PM has a handful of libertarians, including Luke’s bff Cathy Seipp, but if i were her i’d step down in protest… or at least blog about her displeasure in their actions – something that she has yet to do. (Is Pajama Media, an echo-chamber of Yesmen and women?)

but what hurts me the most is that it appears Charles Johnson, a man who ive respected for years, is allowing this to happen. yes he wont return my emails, yes many of his commenters are reactionary predictable flagwavers, but ive met the man and just like Luke, Charles is more complicated and real than people give him credit for being.

and as all of us are, outside the two-dimensional world of our blogs, we are far more dynamic and human than these zeroes and ones could ever depict. which is one reason i love going to Blogger and Buzznet meet-ups – because when you allow humans to really just be humans, most of the time you will be pleasantly suprised.

we are not our skin color, we are not the car we drive, we are not the zip code we hang our hat in, we are not the political party we typically vote for.

we are multi dimensional children of God.

or, if you prefer: beautiful accidents from the dust of the big bang.

this entire post makes me sad because grade school ended for most of us a (very) long time ago.

but you wouldnt know it watching them play in the sandbox called the blogosphere.

blogebrity + just a girl + dave navarro + pink is the new blog + lukeford.net

hell, i never go out.

only reason i took the job with Buzznet was because i knew itd get me out of the damn house and id quit being a lazy bastard.

i also never advertise many things in this, the fat part of the busblog.

but this weekend i will drive the three miles down santa monica blvd and venture down the street from the famed Hollywood Memorial Cemetery to finally meet, and then see, the comedy stylings of Mr. DC Pierson and his troupe from NYC: The Wicked, Wicked, Hammerkatz.

i dont know anything about these people, i dont want to know anything about these people, all i know is i have enjoyed DC’s blog, ham fisted theatrics for what, three years now, and he’s a friend of Alecia’s and i even think madpony kristin had a little crush on him back in the day, which is close to the goodhousekeeping seal of approval or some shit.

and afterwards i plan on going to the del taco where all the transvestite hookers hang out, as popularized by the famous weezer tune hashpipe.

if you too would like to see what all the hubbub is about the show is at 10pm on Friday and Saturday, it’s either $8 or $10, i forget.

heres a map to the Lillian Theatre.

the address is: 1076 Lillian Way, in Hollywood

the Hammerkatz web page is here

this weekend’s shows are part of The LA Fest of Sketch Comedy which runs every night through the 13th.

and if it sucks i have a bag of rotting tomatoes and im going to be aiming at the lanky dude with the hair in his eyes. and then i will have a fish taco with the heshes. and fries.

heres what people who have actually seen the troupe think of DC’s posse

“Hammerzatz is a heavily armed troupe that continously knocks audiences on their asses with original material.”-Matt Zaller, National Lampoon Networks

“Best Sketch Comedy Troupe”-Emerging Comics of New York Awards 2005
“Best Director” (AJ Morales)-Emerging Comics of New York Awards 2005
THE CHOSEN ONE-1st Place Heeb Magazine’s Comedy Competition 2005
“Critic’s Pick”-Time Out New York
“Winner”-Dirtest Sketch in NYC Contest 2004

so there you have it – 1st Place in Heeb

so thats what im going to do on my first real weekend in years. im gonna go out of the house. and if that bastard doesnt make it worth my while you’ll read about it here. thats for sure.

i know that you want to get out of there and be clean laundry but the mexicans in this hi rise loft are working against me and i knew i shoulda came into work early to beat them at their own game, but alas im slow. i wish i knew what slow was in mexican but i dont.

how are you laundry? did you have fun in canada? some of you got to go to the great white north with me, so holla to you, but for the others who didnt what can i say, you missed out.

some clothes are my favorites but they get worn early in the clean clothes cycle and didnt get to make the trip with me because they were already dirty, so sorry. i’ll make it up to you when i go to chicago in two weeks.

two weeks. my does time fly.

do you like being my clothes?

i would imagine you would. i mean youre pretty ugly and cheap and wrinkly and horrible. most of you i got free and i imagine on a regular man you’d be nothing more than workout tshirts or rags to wash their mercedes, but on me youre like my daily shit. you get to go to cool concerts and on hot dates, and if youre lucky you get to see me dance around all tom cruise like after said events as i sing along to bob segar and the silver bullet band.

oh clothes. do you like it that i never iron you or does that get you depressed?

its funny i havent been depressed in a long time. knock wood i havent been sick in years. i dont see how thats possible. as you know, now that i have had a car for a few months i eat almost exclusively from drivethrus and dollar chinese joins.

last night i got some chinese at a donut + chinese place and it smelled so bad that i ate it super quick before i got grossed out. i didnt even spill any on you, clothes, thats how fast i ate that shit.

and now i smell the mcdonalds breakfast from this morning even though its 2pm. i smell it cuz i never eat my whole serving of hashbrowns cuz the grease just eats away at my large intestines.

clothes are you happy or sad that i dont work out and get you sweaty? are you happy or sad that girls who sleep over steal you away from me? are you happy or sad that i dont fold you or put you in drawers, but instead stack you in sloppy piles in the closet or keep you in the laundry baskets that i folded you up and put you in after washing and drying your asses.

do clothes have asses?

do clothes wish they were something else, like upholstry?

do clothes have dreams of being turned into something cool and wonderful like AIDS blankets or axl rose scarves or patches in designer jeans?

do clothes ever want a little jelly spilled on them, or a little blood so they can keep it real?

is bleach your enemy?

do you secretly hate the hot water option?

oh clothes do you deep down wish that i would donate you to good will so you could make a nice poor person warm or an nice hipster super hip and ironic?

clothes, thanks for costing less than $5 normally.

formally,

tonyally

anna’s enrique to develop extra small condoms + vodka pundit + rockit + snarkette

how the Instapundit would spin the overwhelming Democratic victory last night in the USA, and particularily the complete shut out of California Gov. Schwarzenegger’s four proposed propositions here in the golden state.

people ask me why i pay so much attention to rightwing radio and tv and blogs and its because as a recovering salesman, i appreciate when someone can smoothly turn shit into shinola.

last night the rightwing was handed a steaming helping of shit, so i couldnt wait to see how my favorite blogger was going to turn it into grade-a shinola.

im sad to report, as poor of a showing that the Republicans delivered yesterday, professor reynolds fell on his face today.

witness:

“…I may have been right in suggesting that the GOP had lost its mojo with the Terri Schiavo affair. Things seem to have started to go south then, not only because of the issue itself, but because of the divisive venom that so many Schiavo partisans aimed at people who disagreed with them. I think it was very damaging to the GOP coalition, and they’ve continued to pay a price.”

Terri Schiavo is when the Repubs lost their mojo?

it was the venom that the “partisans” aimed at people who disagreed with them that sank the grand old party?

oh, professor, you can do better than that.

can’t you?

first of all, if you wanna blame the Schaivo fiasco dont blame it on the anti-choice righties who wanted to continue to expand the government so the woman’s husband wouldnt be able to do what he thought was right.

dont blame the pundits and the media and the faux-Christians, how about blaming the republican Senate for having the nerve to pass the Palm Sunday Resolution with only three senators present. how about blaming the republican House for passing it at 12:41am when everyone was sleeping.

how about blaming the President of the United States who cut his vacation short so he could take Air Force One and fly from Texas to DC and sign the bill at 1:11am, partially because of the Darling memo that had convinced the right that this case would be great political leverage against Sen Bill Nelson of Florida.

so how about blaming, not the so-called pro-life supporters who talked shit about those who supported a husband obeying the last wish of his wife, but blame Bush, Dr. Frist, Delay, Martinez, Darling, and Jeb Bush for using a feeding tube and a woman in a fucking coma as an unwitting political pawn.

yes, professor, i know its hard for you to lay blame on those who are actually responsible for failing the party and the people who they represent: americans. and i know that its tough for you to actually believe that the GOP began its slide more than eight months ago.

but it did.

even though it didnt swing the election, the beginging of the end of the Republican party, your party, professor, the one even youre too ashamed to admit to belonging to, for good reason, officially started their descent October 7, 2004 when special consultant to the CIA, Charles Duelfer and the multi-national Iraq Survey Group hired by the White House presented the 1,500 page Duelfer Report that explained that Iraq had no weapons of mass destruction when we invaded them in 2003, infact the report said that Saddam was much further away from nukes in 2003 than he was between 1991-93.

so why did Bush win re-election four weeks later?

because it took America five weeks to read that report.

that, and they didnt want gays to *gasp* get married.

and they didnt want to believe that the President of the United States of America would lie to them in order to go to war over oil.

they didnt want to believe that a Presidential administration would use something as dramatic as 9/11 as a springboard for their own agenda that had nothing to do with 9/11.

but now they believe that BushCo is really that corrupt, and that you professor are a willing and eager apologist for them and their dirty deeds.

they now understand this white collar gang would attempt to smear a respected former US Ambassador by outting his CIA agent wife, and then lie about it to a grand jury, all because he dared to contradict them in a editorial in a newspaper.

the american people now sing along with kayne west that this administration could have done something to help those stranded on their rooftops in flooded New Orleans the way they went out of their way to try to “save Terri”, but they sat on their hands, ate cake in arizona, played guitar in california, and emailed about fine dining in baton rouge.

they now get it that even the future of the Republican party, the most famous immigrant, the belle of the GOP ball last fall at their convention, Arnold it turns out is a liar just like his nazi police chief daddy, far more interested in his ever-buldging bank account than in the children, the nurses, the students, the teachers, the taxpayers, and the firefighters of california, a state he cant even pronounce let alone govern.

and yes they get it that bloggers like you are simply a tool, another brick in the wall, for these greedy selfish crooks and liars bent on getting richer and more powerful on the backs of average people’s hopes and american dreams, which wont ever come true with BushCo in power because average people dont sit on the board of Haliburton, Exxon, or Gilead

and they understand that this administration will pay off reporters, provide propaganda, and even allow a gay male hooker into the white house press corps for a year on a day pass so he can ask his softball questions in a flacid attempt to pull the wool over the eyes of the average american. a hoax and a betrayal of trust that you repeatedly enable dozens and dozens of times a day.

so yes we the people at this point understand that this administration will even ask for exceptions to allow torture in their secret prisons around the world

while echo chambers like you will turn the other way and instead of shining the light at the most corrupt group of rats in the kitchen will aim their god-given talents at the grieving mother of a fallen soldier who simply asks for peace.

what is it about you people using innocent women as scapegoats for your failures: schiavo, sheehan, miers.

but america’s had it. maybe it was this freak show circus parade of scandal, maybe it was the soaring gasoline prices, maybe the bile in our collective gullets couldnt be held back one more day.

which is why yesterday we went to the polls and began our first real steps at taking back our country from the real terrorists who have lied and stolen and torn freedom away from the greatest nation in the world while spending its surplus on tyranny, torture, and horror.

the only bright spot for the your party tonight my friend is that theres not one democrat on the hill with the courage to do the right thing and call for an impeachment of this president

who knew about 9/11 the month previous

who knew that his advisors and vp were outting a cia agent as payback

and who knew there were no wmds in iraq and no ties there to al quaeda.

last night the terminator got a taste of judgement day

repent now because as page n plant so perfectly said,

your time is gonna come.

ironmouth + jmo + jim gilliam + brian flemming

and she barely looks a day over 23.

noones gonna believe anything that i write in this post because its gonna sound all kissassy and whatever, but you know what, its true and i dont care what you think.

jenny is a killer person, as cool as she is beautiful. she can drive with will alone, she can cook as good as any iron chef, and she adores her babies (benji, pete, casey, and matt) with as much love as you can imagine.

and shes a great hostess.

as you can tell from her pictures, she has amazing fashion taste, and shes such a fashionista that she apologized for her sunday morning outfit that included a pink izod plaid vest, designer jeans, and pink asics. i was all, are you aplogizing to the doggies, cuz i dont care.

shes a big fan of music (currently rocking to the arcade fire, the libertines, and the ladies and gentlemen) and is pleasantly knowledgeable about the national hockey league, and is now working on curling.

in fact when people asked her in front of matt what the rockstar was going to get her for her birthday she said she was hoping that he would hook her up with some sweet cannucks tickets. tell me thats not an ideal woman.

indeed, when she recently was planning a trip to visit one of her best friends in colorado she intentionally scheduled it so that she could see the cannucks play the avalanche in denver. because the world loves jenny she ended up with seats on the glass right next to the bench.

if the ladies werent already jealous enough of her for being happilly married to canadas coolest rocker, jennifer pretty much eats anything she wants. including deserts. and i never saw her work out. i never even heard her talk about working out. maybe its her good karma. or maybe she secretly snuck in a few miles on their treadmill when matt and i were oot and aboot.

animal lover, activist, and vegitarian, mrs good defended her husband when their american visitor accused him of being gay for buying salon-purchased hair and hygene product by saying that matt doesnt buy things that are tested on animals. and then she told the visitor about some natural products that he should start using.

although shes an aspiring fashion designer, i think jenny should go into either animal training or working with peta because although she has an excellent eye for hot clothes, her heart is with the animals, so much so that when we saw the scariest spider in the world she still didnt wish ill on it – bad drivers, however, are another story.

finally, how beautiful is jenny? well, beauty comes from the heart. and jen’s heart is so beautiful that when i first met the goods they were staying at the mondrian on the sunset strip and she was at the pool and one of the first things i ever told matt was that he had the hottest girl at the hottest pool in the world.

he said, thank you, i know.

so happy birthday jennifer, rollerblader, park patron, animal crusader, starbucks acheiver, and no-hands driver. i cant imagine a better woman to run your household of boys.

i hope the cannucks shutout calgary for you tonight and theres a bench-clearing brawl in your honor.

jennifer dot net + peta + matt good

voila