and because i have a job now. and because that job makes me do things sometimes like drive through the valley during morning rush hour and evening rush hour, i find myself listening to A LOT of talk radio.

and because the liberal media is so liberal, theyve allowed rightwing blowhards pretty much every channel on the dial.

most of the time i think that these talk show people are just doing things for ratings but sometimes i think theyre just lying idiots. sometimes i just think theyre idiots.

either way they make me feel better about myself, which is nice. npr makes me feel dumb, kfi makes me feel superior.

yesterday evening Tammy Bruce and this dude were on talking about a century city strip club who had a sign on their club that said “Vaginas ‘R’ Us”

tammy bruce was all up in arms because she had to pretend that strip clubs objectify women and the dude had to appeal to the right wingers who fund the station (KFI is LA’s home of Fox News) and listen to it by saying bullshit like “i always feel gross in those places” “i always feel like i have to take a shower after i leave those places” “those places lead to crime, drugs, and prostitution in whatever neighborhoods that theyre in” and all the predictible unscientific bs.

tammy was speculating that one reason that many strip clubs in LA are relegated to industrial parks are because “people should feel ashamed to have to go into places where no moral people would go. they should feel the shame of having to go out of their way, of going where no other good people are.”

and thats when i almost pulled over and dialed kfi because thats just plain wrong.

industrial parks are part of america. not everyone needs to have their office or small manufactoring plant on wilshire blvd or overlooking the pacific.

my mother, for example, works in an industrial park in the suburbs of illionis because she works for a company that makes parts and then ships them to the UK. that business doesnt need to be in a central part of town, it doesnt need to be in a highrise, it doesnt need to be in a trendy part of the city. it needs to be in a wide-open, cheap to rent location with lots of parking and access to trucking routes.

strip clubs often find themselves in those areas not because their patrons feel shame, but because neighborhoods might claim “freedom” as “liberty” when they defend the war on iraq, but when it comes to the freedom to dance topless or the freedom to watch pretty women dance nude, that liberty is relegated to the not-in-my-backyard mentality.

so if the titties are in the industrial parks, good. that way no kids accidentally walk in to the wrong door, and theres lots of parking, and shit can go on all night without disturbing the neighbors.

what bruce and the other dude kept overlooking was my part of LA, hollywood, where strip clubs and xxx shops are on a variety of streets including sunset blvd blocks away from hollywood high and on la brea, again, blocks from a high school.

nudity and the human body are two things that drive the alleged God-loving rightwingers crazy. on one hand they want to have you believe that they love God who is infallible, but on the other hand they want to cover up his finest work: the female body.

pick a side righties: is the human body beautiful or isnt it?

should people be allowed to have a business which has not been proven to cause people to do drugs and break laws, or shouldnt they?

these talking fools kept trying to say that the areas surrounding the strip clubs were cess pools of prositution. excuse me, but isnt prostitution the oldest profession? isnt prostitution going to happen regardless of the neighborhood or what clubs surround it? heidi fleiss had a huge business and she wasnt near any strip club, she had a telephone. the telephone is what drug dealers use, what terrorists use, what child molestors use. strip clubs have caused far fewer issues than telephones. but you dont hear them say to ban them. nor should they.

if the issue is people are afriad that prositution or drugs are the real problem, how about make prostitution a 3-strikes type crime. get caught three times and you go to jail for 20 years. same for drugs. the problem is many of the right wingers and politicians knwo that they frequent hookers and do drugs.

thus the hypocracy.

the question i would have asked bruce and the other guy is this: if i could dance the way some of these girls dance, and if i could get women to pay me $20 to grind on them for 3 minutes, why shouldnt i do it? because fakers like you might judge me? ha. i will make probably $125 working hard for 8 hours. why wouldnt i jump at the chance to make that in one hour, go home and have the rest of the day off? you two lie for a living and exaggerate – how is that any less “moral” than ripping off my top and saying “here they are”, now pay up.

my journey to vegas exactly a month ago was life-changing for me. i went there and went to Cheeta’s strip club and talked to the ladies all night and into the early morning. they told me their life stories and i listened. they showed me their boobies and i paid up. the whole night cost me one days salary of about $125. i had a great night, met some wonderful human beings, and afterwards i quit smoking pot, a habit i did daily for ten years.

being able to go into a place and meet strangers, talented beautiful women, listen to great music, talk about real topics, and do it in a sexy enviornment, was priceless to me. and im sure that when i told this very big-boned young girl that she wasnt fat that she had muscles and was thick and sexy and i wanted a lap dance and i wanted to tip her and i wanted to buy her a drink was so awesome for her that she invited me to her house to hang out.

what she and i talked about for 45 mintues was something that we couldnt have done at the mcdonalds across the street. if she had approached me there i woulda blown her off. if i had approached her there and asked if i could examine her body and squeeze her thigh real quick to see how much was fat and how much wasnt would have earned me a punch in the gut. but in the context of the strip club where everything starts with bodies and sex: two subjects we as humans, even in 2005 have huge difficulties with discussing, especially because of fakers like those ratings-hungry talk show hosts – i could tell the big girl that she wasnt fat and i could tell the medium boobied girl that if she got boob implants she would be wasting her money cuz she is beautiful, and was cool.

some might say that i went there to be validated and have my bald head rubbed and have girls say nice things to me because i had the money, but i looked at it as a way to tell hot babes the things i would love to tell hot babes when i see them walking down the street: damn girl you got it goin on, let me buy you a drink.

i realize that i am not like everyone else. but i bet you there are more people like me than tammy bruce et al give america credit for. i would imagine that most men just want to hang out in a club full of beautiful women now and then and live in the fantasy world of hard rock music, booze, and topless girls paying attention to us, and letting us talk about real life issues and learn about each other with sparkly lights, perfume, and glitter.

if a society is going to allow guns to be sold at walmarts and liquor stores to be on every corner, to not allow topless bars or stip clubs in those very same neighborhoods is prudish antiamerican and hypocratic if thats even a word.

doc searls paid me the hugest compliment yesterday + i was the quote of the day here + anti

that i would get to bed early tonight and it looks like that wont be happening.

but we can sleep when we’re dead. right.

i hate that saying.

its so unChristian.

why would anyone want to sleep when theyre dead?

why wouldnt people want to believe in Heaven, in All Good, in Paradise, in Rock n Roll Forever

in mountains made of ice cream

in lines of hot babes waiting outside to meet you.

in clouds made of cotton candy and trees that you eat and rivers that have clean water and presidents that are actually voted for.

who the fuck is the president to take the pussy way out of skirting around the congress and getting bolton and that other guy jobs?

who the fuck is the instapundit and all the rest who just let this guy bastardize the constitution and balance of power and checks and balances?

i have no idea why we look up to professors online or in the neighborhood when those of us who went to college remember far more fucked up professors than great ones.

i read an article today that there is a blog created every second.

this is what i hope from the new generation of blogs that were created in the last twenty minutes that its taken me to get it together and write this post:

you will have the courage to write your blog out of honesty, transparency, openmindedness, and creativity.

tell us what you really think. dont hide behind the links that you provide or the pictures you post or the commentors that you attract

if youre going to do what it takes and stay up late and work to tweak your blog, make it a direct reflection of your soul

whats yr soul?

its the picture you have in your head of you as a little kid

its the good part of you that will get compared to the adult part of you to see how it matches up

if youre ever lost think about that little picture or that elementary school picture of you with your chipped front tooth or fucked up hair and say

am i living up to the hopes and dreams of that excellent kid

or have i sold out to the fears of society and become a tool

and echo of a fat guy in a little coat.

i have sold out in many ways but my ultimate goal is to be the man that that little kid wanted to be when he grows up.

and since i’ll never make the major leagues, at least my blog can grow up to be the blog it always wanted to be, instead.

tomorrows friday and once again i will be in flagrants neighborhood and maybe our paths cross if it is true that she meets with her resident doc #4 on fridays

if i pass you on the 101 baby, i’ll be the dude stoked that his week was perfect except for the lack of postings.

on a final note. let me tell you that yes i listen to republican radio and i also sometimes tune into the oreilly factor because ive always enjoyed circuses and therefore clowns.

today he tried to call ted kennedy a flip flopper because he once said in the 60s that life began at conception, but has been one of the biggest activists for abortion.

o’reilly as you know is a blowhard who sexually harrasses women and buffoons it up on tv and exaggerates instead of intellectualizes – for ratings.

kennedy said that he personally disagrees with abortion, but as a legistlator believes that women deserve the right to choose what happens with their body.

people ask why i listen to rep talk radio and watch rep talk tv. its because it teaches me more about dems than lib radio and tv does.

i have so much respect for teddy now, because thats exactly what i believe.

im personally against abortion, and i believe that life begins at conception, but i also believe that its up to that individual woman to decide if that embryo will grow and live and become a baby in her body.

there are so many unwanted children, there are so many issues with out-of-control growth, and overcrowding in schools, that the irresponsibility of people who want to force others to have an unexpected and/or unwanted child is insane to me.

personally im against it, but publicly people should choose what happens in their lives and in their bodies.

plus i think theres a reason that the bible never talks about abortion once, and yet it repeatedly says “do not judge”. if that isnt a hint that abortion is part of our free will, then i dont know what is.

poseurs = awesome in canadian + negro please + all about george + happy belated birthday laist

for your ass, a film

starring your long lost pal tony as himself.

its twelve fiddy three and i really should go to sleep but im fucking insane and not only have i not showered after a loooong day of some crazy shit including a trip to the valley doing manual labor, but after i write you im going to do some research for some shit im going to wake up early tomorrow to write for my job.

have i told you that i love my job? i do.

what i love is i started the job a day before i started, that ive had homework every night, that ive stayed up until past 3am every night, happilly, and not fucking took much of a break since monday.

i love that everything that i do makes sense, is important, is appreciated, must be done hard fast and brilliantly, and i love that im surrounded by smart people who are also giving a hundred per cent.

i had a marching band director who said its easier to give 100% than 95% and its so true.

i love that ive been there three days and every day ive had to meet with the owners of the company and been in meetings with them and i love that they treat everyone as equals. which isnt to say that they’re all hippy-dippy and lalalala, theyre not, but it means that you have two minutes to capture their attention and it better be right on or they’ll tell you its not right on.

its la. which might mean its ny, but its definately not anywhere else.

on arli$$ or jerry mcguire the guy would flip open his phone and say “talk to me”, these people dont even have time for that. just talk and make it good.

this morning i had to present some ideas that i had worked all night on. in a way it was almost like a pitch meeting where you say your peace and they would pick it apart. they didnt really say nice bullshitty things, they went at it like they knew the client would go at it, trying to find the weak parts. dentists dont jab the healthy parts of your tooth, they try to figure out how deep the cavity is. its not personal and i didnt take it that way. i want to find out the fucked up parts too.

so i kept pitching and listening and defending and editing, and it was awesome.

when i was a sales trainer sometimes someone would ask, “how do i develop the thick skin that you seem to have?”

and i would say, get rid of the skin entirely. have no skin. when someone brings up an objection let it go right through you as if you were a skeleton. nothing sticks to you. you hear it, you get it, it goes through you, but you take what they send and you send it back.

its like playing pong. boop. beep. boop. beep. only an idiot would get all pissed off and take things personally during a pong game.

heres my idea. boop.

youre missing something. beep.

its missing for a reason. boop.

your reason isnt fully true. beep.

sure it is, these guys did it that way and it worked, so did these guys. boop.

and smile. its pong. you get paid to play pong. beep.

so today i made my pitch, i got to show off some of my bizarre creativity, i even made two dummy ads that they didnt even ask for. then i was in a staff meeting which was great cuz everyone was playing speed pong. then we loaded up the truck with crazy shit for our secret location.

and then i found myself in flagrants neck of the woods in a uhaul in the blazing summer heat. and then i worked all day moving shit and building shit and talking to two very cool surfer dudes who are about to enter ucla next month and i got to pick their brains about what its like to be a highschool kid in america today whose about to go to college: its very different – these two dudes didnt even know what blogs were, which isnt surprising, if you were a young surfer living on the beach you probably wouldnt be interested in blogs either.

then i found myself on the 101 at rush hour near the 405 (the busiest freeway intersection in america) and it wasnt very bad at all.

then i found myself listen to sean hannity and being very impressed by him because he was telling america all the things wrong with republicans right now. beep.

and then he said, so libs, dont think that youre the only ones who can say that youre the intellectual party because some republicans have what it takes to fully do a laundry list of what their party needs to do to be better. booop.

then i found myself walking through a bad part of town after dropping off the rental car and considering walking all the way home cuz even though i had basically gotten a workout moving and building and lifting all day, im a slob and a three mile walk might do me good.

but then i found myself climbing aboard the vermont rapid bus, putting my buck twenty five in there and enjoying the air conditioned ride till it got to los feliz

and then i found myself turning on the tv but not the sound and thinking youre in a very weird place right now emotionally and spiritually you should either beat off or catch up on your emails and fantasy baseball. which i did. until ashley of all people called.

and then i thought about how i havent talked to karisa in a long time

or had two blog posts in a row in a long time

and then i found myself worrying that my readers will leave me if i cant figure out a way to knock two out a day.

and then i found myself thinking, just write. nobody writes like you. they’ll be back. people leave all the time and come back and theyre always happy when they return.

and then i found myself eating apple sauce.

and then i found myself blogging. which is the easiest thing ive ever done ever, if you dont count fingering those drunk girls the other night until completion. but who on earth wouldnt count that.

bloop.

sorry that was twenty four minutes. i suck.

prufr0ck + beautiful sorta + abrasivist + fil

and im glad they rocked!

“Hey Tony,

Thanks for all the tips on Tsar. I got to check them out last night
at the Horseshoe and they totally rocked the place. They definitely
deserved all your hype.

a couple pics….. http://noregrd.buzznet.com/user

after the debauchery + nude raymi + fil

years, really.

i do many dorky things and my addiction to blogging and fantasy baseball are right up there with my appreciation of the bible and reality tv.

close is my addiction to subscribing to trashy magazines.

anyways last night something bizarre happened in the most competitive yahoo fantasy baseball league that ive ever been in: i called out the most active player in the league for being a liar, and it hit him so square once he realized that i was right that he quit playing right there in front of everyone.

this guy was poised to make the playoffs. not only that but he made a brilliant move of screwing me on a trade the day before by asking me in the public message board what players i was willing to give up for two of his good players. i told him and twenty minutes later he cut a deal with a different team for pretty much the same guys that i had offered.

meaning he got what he wanted without having to give me his players.

seriously quite a savvy move for a guy who doesnt even know how to cut’n’paste an email.

not that you probably care, but if youve made it this far, perhaps you do… anyway, afterward the trade, he wrote me an email saying that he was sorry if i felt ripped off, that he would make it up to me by offerring me some trades. his offers were rotten. basically his junk for some of my good shit.

so i wrote him back and said basically, bro you used me, you owe me one, and if you are genuinely sorry you need to offer me something decent. i was firm but i was careful because there have been 7,078 posts in that league, and everyone pretty much hated me because ive had to play bad-cop in the league by asking the commisioner to veto some of the lopsided trades that so many of the teams have been involved in.

meanwhile, however, noone hated the commish, even though he listened to my public advice and actually vetoed about 75% of what i requested. maybe its cuz i can sometimes come across as an asshole, and rarely do i apologize out of politeness when i know im not wrong.

so yesterday one of the lowest-ranked teams started calling me names. then the dude i was pissed at, the one who had just jacked me with the trades (The Detroit Tigers), was all LOL even last place teams are making fun of you, you must really suck.

to which i was all, tigers, shut up, you used me and you should just be quiet

to which he was all, dodgers (im the dodgers – the cubs were taken), youre the one who should shut up, you wrote me an email saying i should trade with you or else. wtf is that all about?

i know, super mature, but what else do you expect from free fantasy baseball.

anyway, i had found my angle to get payback for getting taken in the deal.

i called Tigers a liar and because this league is full of super-macho “men” i knew if i pulled the screws and demanded an apology he would never give it to me and would be backed into a corner.

if you want to see what happened through our message board postings, i copied most of them and put it on this web page

warning, its lame and dorky and geeky. but its an insight as to how not super cool i can be, and how amazingly proud that some men can act – even when they know theyre wrong.

some people, i learned yesterday, would rather quit something that theyve played every day for the last four months, that they quite possibly could win, instead of apologizing for being a jackass.

amazing.

sarah-lynn + whitey + bojack + aaron

at the daily nexus wearing a dress, drinking wine, and surrounded by women doing night production on the greatest college paper of all time.

he had longer hair, raggedy jeans, and like corey hart he wore sunglasses at night.

i guess we all had longer hair back then and more fucked up jeans, but the difference about todays birthday boy is that fuckin white boy got a hundred times smarter than any of us ever thought.

not only is he a virtual expert on central and eastern european history – somehow – but he’s only gotten more nerdy about his baseball history and neo-jamesian stats that would make guys like theo epstein say hold on what?

there will be a day when someone will let me and matt either run the dodgers or the cubs and after i abuse my powers and rip down the lights matt will trade away all the stars and replace them with long beach unknowns and i will make sure that every national anthem is sung by the best of the punkrock underground.

every game will be a sellout and bill veeck will rise from his grave and stand in line for bleacher seats.

worst mistake and my only regret in life was not following matt and the nexus crew to prague after graduation to start the first english language newspaper there Prognosis. i had fallen in love with jeanine who at the time was only a junior and i told matt that i was going to stay in IV, work for warner bros. and hang out with my new girlfriend. i believe that was our first and last fight. he called me a skinny sellout whiteboy and when he saw that he wasnt getting to me figured i was truly in love and gave me a hug and a kiss, and we were good.

a year later jeanine was in prauge and i was working for an even bigger conglomerate than wb and matt was playing guitar on the charles bridge and interviewing havel and getting good seats to guns n roses.

i had made a terrible mistake.

since then matt has married emmanuelle, cut his hair, appeared on the o’reilly factor, and basically made his momma proud. all without a degree, as ucsb decided to kick him out right before he reinvented the wheel.

in a perfect world theyd look at what he’s accomplished in the 15 years since he was unjustly booted from the fine institution and award him an honorary degree, but somehow i think his achievements taste sweeter without the sheepskin because he got everything he needed from his college university and proved to the world that renegades dont need your stinkin badges, they dont even need your cable tv, american ways, or californian girls.

he lives in a better house than you, his backyard is bigger than yours, his wife is frencher than you, and his country band is sweeter than yours.

and he can write even me under the damn table

and unlike me, get paid for it.

two fiddy, sal, two fiddy a week.

of course he didnt tell anyone that today was his birthday and here it is midnight oh six and his big day is over, but thats how real libertarians are – true independents, satisfied with a trip to a beach in malibu with his bikinied bride, a nice bottle or six of red, and maybe some seafood at a little place playing footsies and driving home down sunset listening to npr.

what did i imagine for matt welch in 2005 when i met him 15 years ago? completely ruling. pretty much what he’s doing now.

but for some reason i thought we’d be driving faster cars.

matt welch’s warblog + part three of our backyard podcast + his lovely wife emmanuelle

we talked for an hour for the podcast that i will put up tomorrow night, and afterwards i realized i had stuck the plug in the wrong hole! shit fuck piss!

we had just had this great conversation about payola and how young bands should stay away from major labels and about drugs and all these sorta related but not really topics and then i saw what i had done and i wanted to throw my monitor through the window cuz im such an idiot.

but matt was super cool about it and called me up a few hours later and we did another hour of kinda payola but not really. we talked about the cars he bought over the years, the music biz, U2 ticket prices, and about dudes who yell at him to shut the hell up while in concert. classic.

i seriously need to get on the radio because i dont want to make any more mistakes like that again because the next person i get to interview might not be as generous with their time, or as easy to talk with.

today is renee’s birthday. aka nay (pictured), she has been one of my favorite bloggers way back before they even called it blogging. i first started reading her sites when she was 14! not because im a perv (i am, but not for 14yr olds) but because she was painfully honest about so many aspects of her life that i found it totally compelling. im talking weight issues, boyfriends, long distance relationships, parents, web celebrity challenges, haters, copy-cats, homeschooling, hurricanes, success – the drama was never ending, and even though she took down her site from time to time, she always came back re-charged and committed.

this summer while i was unemployed i even became a member of her pay site just to see what was going on over there. i specifically wanted to see how her 24-hr cam worked and how someone could live under that sort of lack of privacy. im not sure if her shit was broke or mine was but i never saw any of the cam stuff nor did i enter into a chat with her and the other members but i did get to read her private blog and go through her archives so i feel as if i got my money’s worth. whatever.

today nay turns 19 and i wish her a happy birthday and i hope she has all her dreams come true because shes a lot more than a hot chick living in miami, shes a pioneer in the blogging world and on the net, and a gigantic inspiration to the busblog, and hopefully we’ll get to podcast her one of these days because i think she gets easilly misunderstood as being “just another ditzy camgirl”. the chickie has some serious skillz.

today was also a big day for Cub fans. good ole number 23, ryne sandberg, was inducted into the hall of fame today.

growing up it was hard not to love the shy secondbaseman who came over with larry bowa (for ivan dejesus) from the phillies in the early 80s after dallas green and lee elia bailed outta philly.

ryno was the girly’s favorite for his boyish looks, and beloved by the boys because of his clutch hitting and solid fielding. most second basemen weren’t known for their power but like joe morgan, ryne hit 282 homers including 40 in 1990 which was the first time a second baseman had done that since ’22 when rogers hornsby did it.

nine consecutive golden gloves and ten all-star appearances, but because he was a Cubbie no world series rings.

i was lucky enough to watch some of his induction this afternoon on ESPN classics and ryne had a lot to say about respect for baseball, but to me the best things he said was that he was bummed that he couldnt figure out how to win the world series for cubs fans.

It reminds me of the guy walking down the beach. He finds a bottle, pops the cork and a genie comes out to grant him one wish.

The guy says, “my wish is for peace between the Israelis and Palestinians. Here’s a map of the Middle East.”

Genie takes the map, studies it for hours and hours. Finally gives it back to the guy and says, “is there anything else you want to wish for? This is impossible!”

The guy says “well, I always wanted to see the Cubs in a World Series.”

The genie looks at him, reaches out and says, “let me have another look at that map.”

– full transcript here

when i look back at my life i know i wont be able to say that i was as classy as ryne sandberg, who thanked so many of his old teammates who were in attendence and railed against the selfishness and disrespect of today’s superstars, but i know that if i have any class its because of guys like him who were quiet leaders who spoke softly and swung a bigass stick.

harry was looking down today and he blessed us all.

another of ryne’s best lines was not when he called Pete Rose his hero, which i loved because he’s mine too, but when he said this about Cub legend Ron Santo who we all hope gets inducted into the hall before he passes away:

I know there are a lot of Cub fans here today. I feel like every Cub fan in the world is here with me today. And by the way, for what it’s worth, Ron Santo just gained one more vote from the veteran’s committee.

and dont ask me if i cried a little cuz i’ll change the subject.

ryne sandberg hall of fame stats + sacred.nu + when nay retired at 15 + matthew good