she was trying to be mean to me because i took karisa to coulter’s wedding and not her, but she knew i didnt play that game so she called me and arrived with an apple pie and the dvd of american pie and mischeif in her eye.

needless to say it helped me not get shut out of july.

afterwards she accused me of being anti-breast.

i told her i wasnt anti-breast.

she asked me why i never really spent much time working the twins and i said i thought a gentleman wasnt supposed to. she said a gentleman was supposed to do whatever the gentlewoman wanted and i said fine, i’ll pay more attention to the zooms.

these are the biggest issues i have to deal with these days:

play more with my titties.

growing up i read a lot of Cosmo. i watched a lot of tv. i listened to women talk.

most the time i would read that guys would spend too much time on the cans and not enough time kissing or whispering or finding that magic spot.

“he thinks he’s tuning into a mexican radio station,” the frustrated women would write to Dear Cosmo.

if a girl had very small breasts i would make sure to work em a little more than i normally would, sorta to say, i know theyre there. theyre fine.

same would go if a girl had misshapen or scarred ones due to gunshots or plastic surgery: attention would be paid.

but if a young lady had perfect ones, or big huge ones, typically i would make the rounds and then try to downplay the obvious.

too often i had heard from women with generous portions that the men in their life would stare at them and be hyptonized and do nothing other than zero in on them.

im more than just tits, theyd whine.

fine.

i guess sometimes you can outthink yourself.

thankfully at the root of any good relationship is communication and trust

and the permission to be felt up.

– two years ago today on the busblog

pics and stories from steve and heather’s wedding two years ago + back when i had hair + & the corvids formed

but instead of fucking up your harddrives theyre fucking up the pop program and reminding people that there is an alternative to the dave matthews band and the reconsituted easylistening pretending to be rock music.

tonight the boys play at Valentines in albany new york the states capital and the birthplace of the q-tip. ok i made that up, but tsar will be banging the gong and i hope that if youre nearby you will pop yr head into the club and say hey for me.

after a day off, sunday tsar will be in buffalo for Edgefest with Billy Idol, our lady peace, flogging molly, static x, and others including 30 seconds to mars.

tuesday they will be in toronto canada rocking The Horseshoe, and Raymi and Fil i want you to be there with the rest of all my GTA homiez and give me your honest analysis of my bros. thats tuesday Toronto 8/2 at the horseshoe. fill that fucker up and let em know that you want to be rocked.

Chicago, thursday Tsar will be in my hometown. 8/4 at the Bottom Lounge with the Queers. give em some love chi-town. cubbies won today in the bottom of the ninth which means go to the Bottom Lounge and see the band most likely to have a smoke machine.

they drive all night and on friday 8/5 tsar hits cincinatti’s Never on Sundays.

on Saturday they’ll be in Lancaster at Coach’s Corner. both of those OH shows they’ll be playing with Billy Carri. who’s Billy Carri? hellifiknow all i know is Tsar will bring it so get ready and i dare you to try to give it back.

8/12 they’ll be in Sayerville NJ at the Starland Ballroom opening for the world famous NEW YORK friggin DOLLS and on 8/13 they’ll open for the Dolls again at the House of Blues in Atlantic City and my only question is why why why did they have to do that as soon as i got a job? i would have hitch-hiked across the country to see that match up.

but apparently i wont have to travel far because at the end of August the Dolls will have Tsar open for them again on 8/29 at the HOB in San Diego and 8/31 at the HOB at downtown Disney.

and now you know the rest of the story

toronto + i + want + your + sweet + ass + at + the + tsar + show + on + tuesday + nite

omg danielle. omg shes such a spaz she called me i swear ten times on her way up here from san diego, and five just to say that she omg hates the 101.

we dined at the new palms thai which still has pain in the ass parking, if you call buck fiddy valet pain in the ass. i guess its not in LA-terms but it is for thai-terms.

didnt matter the food was killer and the parking dude was all thank you for bringing this wonderful girl. i was all, danielle spin around for the nice man, which she did perfectly on cue.

she had the fried tofu which she said were perfect as always cuz theyre crisp on the outside, tender on the inside, without even a hint of grease.

i told her its because the take hairless virgins and roll them in the wok with the food to suck all the grease and impurities out and whats left is the fried tofu miracle which never has enough sauce for her tastes but thats what waitresses are for.

i had the tom kha kai cuz im predictable, and chicken flied lice cuz im racist and we gabbed about her trip back east and the journey to the hamptons which she says makes beverly hills look like a ghetto

and she said how much she missed me and i told her how much i missed her and she said omg im so fat and i was all omg youre not and she was all look just look and i was all baby im looking have no fear about that

and i put my hand under the table and i gave it a good knock and i said see lil tone loves women and youre all woman and not in the least bit fat so eat your fried foods and drink your non diet cola and lets clink our glasses to hollywood.

clink.

afterwards we drove over to my po box and took some pictures and found a little shady area and a flat with a blue door and we clicked a few dozen photos and even took a lil three minute film that i will have for you tomorrow or monday which ever comes first.

and just as quick as she was here she was gone and i will miss her and shes a goddess and such a free spirit and so fun that i want all her dreams to come true

and maybe when you see this film you will have a greater understanding of how cool she is and how willing she is to have fun even in front of the camera.

and tonight i will eat drink and be merry with my two exes and tomorrow i will watch a movie with the cuban girl and sunday i will pray because monday i start my new job,

and summer, thanks for being there it was like jumping jack flash a gas gas gas.

one two.

danielle photo shoot + danielle’s unloved blog + danielles favorite blogger

what are you doing this weekend?

Q. What would you do without the blog if it were taken away and you had no means whatsoever to express yourself to the public?

before blogging i wrote in spiral notebooks and then i made websites and i also wrote for my college newspaper.

so if blogging wasnt around i would probably follow my former dream of being a pro journalist. but the problem with pro journalism is you cant really write exactly what you want to write. for example, lets say i had established myself as some kickass genx columnist and someone like the la times actually hired me five years ago. do you really think theyd allow me to mid-column say, man, i could really use clipper girls cousin to call me up right now and beg to lick my nuts like she did the other day?

not really likely. so thank god for blogging cuz i could really use clipper girls cousin to call me up right now and beg to lick my nuts like she did the other day.

Q. What is more important giving love or receiving love? you can’t say both, you have to pick one that is truly more important. I know you’re a giver.

well im a sap, so i believe that when you give love you automatically receive it.

i also have serious issues with receiving. so as much as i enjoy seeing a pretty girl get down before me and pull down my dark side of the moon pajama bottoms and unleash my deadly weapon, i cant really allow her to pay that much attention to me for very long. i feel selfish i feel greedy i feel self consious i feel ungentlemanly. however when the shoes on the other foot, lets say, i have no problem taking my time and letting her imitate fat joe and lean back and lean back.

one of the best gfs i ever had really loved giving love. she said, lets see if you can make it through a whole inning of me just doing this and she did her thing and i couldnt receive for that long. it was fun to try but there was obviously something wrong with me because i pushed her over and gave it to her, twice as good because i totally appreciated her little science experiment.

Q. Why do you personally think so strongly about having such a strong political stance not only personally but with the Blog and do you think the celebrities or musicians should use their own stages for political agendas or beliefs?

firstly you shouldnt believe the things you read on blogs, especially when people talk politics. dont believe when they talk about sex, or money, or religion, but definately dont believe them when they write about politics.

for example, i dont believe that in real life the instapundit is as one-sided and insincere, and as unfair and as dishonest as he is in his blog. i feel the same about charles johnson, and i feel the same about even rush limbaugh.

i think in real life if you were in a tavern with any of those gentlemen and if you werent surrounded by a bunch of good ole boys and if you sorta sighed and saw the president on the tv but you couldnt hear him cuz the jukebox was playing and if you said what an ass, i bet you they would probably laugh and agree. but they wouldnt dare do that in their blog cuz they make money and theyve become popular defending him.

similarily ive gotten far more props for bashing him than i probably deserve, cuz seriously how difficult is it to point at the retards in washington and say omg wtf.

i think most people’s stances are so strong currently because theres such a huge divide between left and right right now with very little middle ground. at this point you either believe that the administration lied to go to war and theyre lying about the progress of the war – or you believe them. you either are in favor of the right for women to choose what happens inside their womb or you dont. you either think this administration is taking this country down a rotten horrible fucked up path, or you think anythings better than kerry/dean/clinton – even this.

so i dont think my stance is unusually strong because it feels like if you dont like bush you probably reeaaaaalllly dont like bush. nobody is running around saying “yeah this war in iraq is a joke, but dubya’s domestic policies and programs are making us all rich, what a visionary, man, huh.”

other than oil producers and haliburton, who’s really benefitting from these last five years? the fcc’s slush fund? flag makers? and who’s gonna benefit from bush 20 years from now? is that such a crazy question to ask? i dont think so.

should celebs and musicians talk about their political beliefs? let me put it this way, for some reason we stick a mic in front of celebs and musicians so if they choose to keep it real and actually have an educated discussion with the prettyboy from entertainment tonight, i dont see a problem with it. and if a rocker wants to say a few thoughts onstage i wouldnt mind, especially if its followed with some killer song appropriate to the rant they just delivered.

some of the best songs out there were based in politics. i dont see why people should shy away from speaking their mind about anything that theyre serious about. on stage or in the blog. especially if theyre being honest and emotional about it.

Q. Have you ever had sex with a girl for the first time when she was really intoxicated and then had second thoughts about your actions the following day? Not because she was not hot, but that you might have taken advantage of her inebriation?

in college i had a major crush on a super hot chick who totally loved to party. she was friends with some of us Daily Nexus kids as well as some of the KCSB radio djs. one day the Nexus and KCSB had a sloshball game, which is softball with kegs at each base. needless to say after the game everyone was wasted. i took her to her place and started kissing her and she kissed back. i felt her up and she felt me up. but it was obvious that she was far more sloshed than i was.

i picked her up and put her in her closet but she slumped back down. i kept whispering, youre so drunk im gonna go home. and she kept slurring, no no, come here. but her eyes werent open and she was minutes away from passing out. it was obvious i could have done anything with her that i wanted. but even then, horny as i was, and as drunk as i was, and as lucky as i felt to be making out with such a blazing hot chick i knew in my heart that it would be wrong to do anything other than go home and lock the door after me.

a few weeks later she was drunk and stumbled to my house and knocked on my door and climbed into my bed. again she was wasted and sprawled out like a barbie doll. i really liked this girl and of course i wanted to do it with her. the problem was it wasnt going to be with her it was going to be to her, and even though she had come to my house i knew i should just chill out and not touch her. i kept thinking, if this girl really likes me she would bone me sober – which might be in the morning.

even then i knew that some girls dont know how to say yes and they feel like they have to get drunk or wasted from drugs to feel ok to have sex but i didnt want to be part of that. hot as she was. im no angel, but this black man knows better than to get himself in a situation where a girl could say i was drunk and he raped me while i was passed out.

theres tons of willing sober hot chicks out there. if lyle lovett could bang julia roberts and then marry her, you and i can bang pretty much anyone we want. sex is merely a numbers game, the more dates you go on, the better your odds. no need to break the law or take advantage of lightweights.

part two of the tomdog interview is here

fook the people + kovixen + paige + happy birthday doc and wil

people get jealous and freaky. if ashley and i were still best of friends she would have been sure to have said a few choice words about the pics, and because danielle and i are still chummy she not only called me today to point out that i have new pics of karisa

but

she asked me to dinner tomorrow night at our favorite place, thaitown’s best, palms thai.

i told her that i couldnt sup with her because i and doing that with my exes chris and jeanine, but i could luncheon with her if she drove up from diego as soon as she got her pretty head off her pillow.

she wasnt sure until i told her that i would give her the full photo shoot treatment. she said deal and promised to call me in the morn. i forgot to tell her to bring a few outfits for the vault but hopefully shes reading this, in which case, hey bring some outfits so i will have some stock pics for the future.

awesome. so people wanted to know what the purpose of karisa and i having lunch the other day was all aabout and it was to celebrate her first modeling job. it was for this laser removal brochure which she is holding up in the photograph. as you can see she was upset because all they wanted to use her for was her hip ass and leg. she said it made her feel like an objectified bodypart and was disappointed that they didnt use any pictures of her whole bod including her face and hair which she told me they spent hours babe-ing up.

i was all kid welcome to hollywood.

she was all, do you think they thought i was fugly?

i was all, yes.

she was like what!

then i said, jk baby, youre a hot chick and everyone knows it and even though this is lalaland not every model gets her sweet face on the cover of mademoiselle, you posed for the cam, they took the pics, and they chose the part of you that would best sell their service. instead of being pissed you should tipout the photoshopper.

and she nearly threw her five dollar cup of soup at me and said, no photoshop was used thank you very much!

and i was all bullshit

and she was like ten bucks.

i was all, whoevers right pays for this lunch.

and she stood up and pulled down her puma jogging pants

and not only did i have to pay for our lunch but the joke was on her cuz i was gonna pay for that shit anyways sucka!

and tomorrow and this weekend you will see some hot pics of danielle who is a super cute yet quite competitve gal and with her pics you will also get to hear part two of our convo which isnt, i swear, about uteran operations, its far sexier and funnier and easier on the ears.

cubs lost today and dusty had the rookie throw 120 pitches and when he ends up in the DL in a few years you cant say its cuz he tossed too many curveballs, it will be because dusty baker is the most overrated manager in baseball and is a pitcher-killer.

ct + sk goes wig shopping + alecia + muscle68

was that i barely had any dreams. people were all, of course you had dreams you just didnt remember them. but no, i hate dreams, i woulda remembered them.

for the last three nights in a row ive had the most disturbing dreams, and if it keeps up, and yes im talking to you dream factory, im going to get back on the pipe.

last night i dreampt that i was in jail.

it was a really nice jail in that everyone was mellowed out and there were lots of rolling stone magazines, but like in real life, everyone just walked on them and ignored them.

after a while i got a little uptight and i wanted to know why i was in jail and when it would be over. there were no answers for me. everyone just wandered around doing laps like fish in a huge tank. and like a fish i tried to stay away from the big ones and kept moving, looking for a place to hide.

fucking hate dreams.

my car is in the shop. looks like theres not that much work to do on it. tire rotation, oil change, tail lights, liscense plate light, tune up, radiator flush, battery cleaning, ashtray cleaning, you know.

theres a mechanic right next door to my post office box and hes a super nice dude. and now i really trust him because he didnt try to say my breaks were bad.

i disagree with sk. just cuz you have two things to talk about doesnt make them good.

i watched some porn last night. not because i needed to but because i get it in the mail every 5-6 days. i saw some of the most hateful smut ever. as balky said in beverly hills cop, thats not sexy. the filmmakers’ moto was that they didnt follow trends that they set them or some shit. if the trend that they were trying to establish was that they were making porn that made you disgusted with sex then they were indeed setting the standard.

then i watched some interracial porn. black dudes and blonde girls. everything was going well until this huge musclebound black dude knocked on this blonde girls door and he had this huge honkin… cross on his chest. wtf! exactly what part of Jesus or the bible is sexy in that context? infact i believe its a turnoff. why do they think i want to see a cross swinging as my dude gives it to her hard and strong?

must i teach the world everything?

no crosses in chicks cleavages and no huge crosses as a dude is getting his board waxed. sheesh.

i fast forwarded and didnt even break open the asian pr0n because i was sickened by the lack of art in the adult world and i passed out in a disgusted mess without even taping big brother for my buddy ken as i had promised.

i need to stop making promises, although i have been cleaning up my house and getting my shit together, so im proud of that.

and i do have part one of my podcast with tomdog of Buzznet and Rogue Cheddar fame up and all went well until the twenty minute mark when my battery died.

so go here to hear part one (about 20 minutes) and later i will have part two up because Tsar rocks Albany tomorrow night and if you go you will get to hear great tunes and get to meet tom!

tomdog’s buzznet page + tomdog’s blog + tiiimmayyyyy + mc brown

it started early with the maintence man coming over to check out the mysterious leak in my walls. he was here at 8:30am bright and early. his english aint so good so there was no negotiating which is too bad as i normally hit the hay around 5am and last night was no exception. he inspected, we shook hands, and he laughed at my pajamas that had been turned into summer pajamas after a few snips of the scissors.

i then took to my closets and filled up bag after bag of ridiculous tshirts and fucked up pants and simultaneously converted my podcasts of matt welch and raymi de minx into bite sized mp3s and all was well until karisa j called me up for a suprise luncheon.

its funny how when youre really rocking the whole world can pick up on yr vibe and want to get in the way hang out with your black ass, or call you, or message you, or do you. karisa (pictured, left) just wanted lunch so she picked me up in her new car and we jetted down the block to fred 62 on vermont, the hipsters diner.

karisas car will be featured in the upcoming one minute short that i will be linking to tomorrow, and because i have no tact the second she picked me up in it, and not her recently traded-in Xterra, i sat in the seat, hugged her, and looked around the brand new nissan sedan and said, your pappy let you have the keys to his car? followed by about five more one-liners ending up with “are you married to a young doctor or some shit?” to which she punched me in the arm hard and i shut the hell up.

for as good of friends that we are we really dont see each other all that much so having sandwiches on a hot afternoon was superfun. i tried to podcast part of our conversation but trucks passed by at the wrong moments and the only other dude near us chimed in when we were talking about what music we were listening to, and then the battery died, a sign from above that we should just keep it between us, which is usually what we do, however i had to snap some pictures since it was such a beautiful day and rarely do we see each other in the daylight and only an idiot could fail at such a hot subject in natural light.

i will never be mistaken for a photographer.

almost as soon as i got home my xgirl ashley (pictured, below)called. we’d exchanged some snotty emails over the last few days and she wanted to set things straight and an hour later things were straight and we had completed our first polite conversation in over two years with plans of maybe seeing each other on thursday. i told her that this was the week of getting my shit together and she was definately on the list, but that thursday was when i was expecting to get my car back out of the shop so maybe i would have to dine with her next week. it was nice to talk with her and its weird how good feelings from the past can come back during the weirdest moments.

then my mom of all people called me and she hadnt been keeping up with the blog so she didnt know that i had quit smoking weed. so i told her. and she was shocked at how long it had been a habit for me. she was so happy it was sweet. but i didnt lie i told her that it was easy to quit and im not doing it for exactly the best reasons, and that i will smoke again one day, just not any time soon, and it wont be habitual, it will be occassional. she asked me why i couldnt get high off life and i said mrs reagan i get high off everything including life. i love my mom and i know i made her happy.

as i was doing my dishes the activist formerly known as my true love called me. we talked and she wanted to know if i had called my other xgirl jeanine and i hadnt so i called her, meaning in the span of two hours i had contacted three xgirlfriends with plans of having heart to hearts with all of them within the next two days. the plan chris wanted me to fulfil was for she, jeanine, and i to have dinner on friday and drink a bottle of wine that i brought home from spain in 2000. jeanine and i had a long cathartic conversation that included raised voices on her part and shhhh shhh on my part peppered with i love yous on both sides. and even though it was all good i was beat and grateful that i had warned you, my readers, that the busblog wouldnt be updated all that much this week because some serious shit was going down. good shit.

then matt good emailed me ready for a podcast, then raymi emailed asking wtf is up with our podcast, and i had to tell them both to gimme a day cuz i was emotionally drained, and being mellow cannucks they were cool.

at this point it was dinnertime but i wasnt hungry after the charles bukowski on rye that i downed at freddies. as karisa pointed out the ham and cheese sandwhich is advertised as being served on sourdough and she asked me, shouldnt it be on rye, and thats why i like her. not because of her hotness but because of her coolness.

i hit the sofa hard. the cubs were getting out of a rain delay and were about to chat with my favorite xcub mr bruce sutter. and before they could return from commercial to interview him i was out. i woke up and it was a tie going into the 8th, the game crept into extra frames and in the 11th they lost a heartbreaker due to a double play with derek lee standing in the on-deck circle and if i had a gun id had shot my tv.

then i got up, poured myself a huge glass of water, worked on my soon-to-be completed book, then checked out the real world which was disappointing and Big Brother which made me stand up and clap several times and renew my faith in humanity and got back on the computer, told the lameass commentors on the buzzmachine that they are lameasses, learned so much as usual from metafilter, edited the photos that i had taken of karisa, uploaded the lil film i made embarrassing her, and then began this blogpost which i dedicate to good old number 42 whose wind-up and delivery i have mastered and will mimic if i ever get the chance to throw out the first pitch at wrigley field, which is one of my secret unattainable dreams of which i have many, several of which have come true over the years to my complete surprise.

and whoever invented naps, i kiss you.

the podcast interview of raymi the linux is up

swamp donkey + doonesbury’s been on fire lately + pitt

that i was at this weekend, but its hard to type while i listen to this podcast that i did with danielle last week, but i will try.

today i interviewed tomdog from buzznet and rogue cheddar fame, and raymi le minx from canadian herstory fame. these podcasts rule but im still waiting on the dudes who are going to host these mp3s to get their tool to work. shuttup. and later today i will upload the raymi one with them or without them.

but lets get to the questions the kids asked the other day:

q. What do you think about bloggers who don’t have the desire to be widely linked and aren’t interested in universal acclaim. I have had a blog for a couple of years (which I routinely delete in fits of pique and fear of too much self exposure) and I have developed a small group of readers and I like that. It scares me sometimes to think about strangers reading me, especially when I get intimate comments from unknown, unlogged visitors. – leigh

a. the sad truth is most bloggers will not be widely linked or achieve universal acclaim. if a blogger knocks out decent posts every week the odds are much higher that they will get a big audience, especially if they have friends who are popular and link them all the time, or if they post risque pictures, or if they comment a lot noting their homepage in the comment box, but most bloggers will not have huge popularity.

so the question really is, what do i think about average bloggers. i love all bloggers as long as they are interesting. if all you want is a small audience you’re doing the right thing by deleting posts and staying relatively low key. you can also do things like what sk smith does and not show any pictures, it also helps if you dont update very often. its quite easy to avoid hits.

what you may want to do for your small group of readers though is set up some sort of email notification system, which you can find for free around the web, or instruct them how to work blogreaders like Bloglines so that they will automatically get your words delivered to them whenever you update.

if you feel more comfortable with good people who know you, than with strangers and lurkers who comment anonymously, i can totally understand that. not everyone is an exhibitionist or an approval junkie or interested in more more more. and comments from strangers isnt for everyone. so more power to you.

if youre using blogger, you might also make sure to go to Settings > Basic > and click No on Add your Blog to our Listing as well as going to Settings > Publishing > click No on Notify Weblogs.com to better protect your privacy.

or you may consider a LiveJournal blog which has several other privacy settings where you can limit readership solely to people you invite.

Q.

1. Are there any bloggers that you would still like to meet?

2.If you have to cook a meal for someone what would it be?

3.Who would you most like to be stuck in an elevator with? – Amelia

a 1. im a weirdo. i sorta like for people to be in their little worlds and let me be in mine. i think i come across way better on my blog than i do in real life and i bet other people feel the same way. many people heard my podcasts and were all omg tony doesnt have a deep booming voice. id sorta like to have people imagine me as cooler than i am and meeting me would really ruin that. so i would have to say no to your question, not because i dont want to meet others i just dont feel so awesome about them meeting me.

2. the only thing that i make well is bbq chicken or grilled burgers. i went through a period of time when i was making stews in my crock pot but that time has passed. so if someone demanded that i made them something i would bbq for them.

3. ive been stuck in a few elevators and each time i started laughing hysterically. probably nervous laughter. so if i couldnt get stuck with pam anderson or someone hot who had always wanted to get it on in an elevator with a stranger, i would have to say id like to be stuck with people who panic easilly because it would only trigger my nervous laughter even more, cuz who doesnt love to laugh?

q. in regards to bloggers you would like to met…did you and matt meet strictly through blogging or were you friend prior??? – Smelly Danielly

a. matt found me, i believe, through raymi’s blog. i had heard of him through lists on canadian blogs of their favorite cds. he has a pretty easy to remember name and there are many good canadian blogs so when he wrote me i recognized his name.
one day he started chatting with me thru msn messenger. ive noticed canadians like msn way more than aol which is ashame because i like to lay low and im barely on aol however i dont know how to turn my msn off. so he caught me unawares. i think the second time we chatted he was getting tired of typing and asked what my phone number was and we talked on the phone and we really hit it off.

he sent me some cds and i listen to them and i like a few songs but in no way am i a fanatic like i see lots of canadian bloggers are. but i really like his blog and when he came to LA he was pretty much exactly like he was on the phone, very normal and nice and funny. im sure if i had grown up in canada id be a huge fan of his music. but sometimes its hard to go backwards. he wrote about the Replacements yesterday and ive tried to turn people onto them who had never heard them but some bands are hard to get into when you have no history with them and no shared experiences with friends like singing the song in the car on the way home from a party or something.

but i think our conversations and upcoming podcasts might actually be better that i didnt grow up on his music because i have a total objective point of view with him when we talk, and especially when we talk about music cuz im not all omg remember that one song omg let me tell you how it deeply effected me when i broke up with my true love. if bruce springsteen or elvis costello or paul westerberg started calling me on the phone my podcasts with them would be horrible and people would puke, and how would i have the nerve to tell someone like springsteen that his shit hasnt been very good since tunnel of love?

q. People can take the blogging thing way too seriously, no? – Mimi

a. yes they can. some of the biggest bloggers are completely dishonest with their readers intentionally ignoring huge stories regarding human rights and morals and life and death that they wouldnt ignore if they had only a handful of readers or private blogs. but in public, and in front of large audiences they turn into, sometimes, idiotic tools. the point of blogging is to give your take. on everything. when you self-edit, i believe, youre taking yourself too seriously and youre taking blogging too seriously. no matter how many hits you get or dont get at the end of the day its just a blog, the gayest thing ever.

q. has anyone ever told you that you look like vin deisel? – carrie

a. only strippers, but i thought they were simply after my money.

q. can i get any nudes of karissa? – some jagoff

a. karisa (pictured, above) is one of my closest friends and my best advisor. ive written about her dozens of times and ive never misspelled her name. if you cant spell her name right while asking that question you are an idiot who doesnt even deserve the porn thats overflowing on the web.

currently she has a boyfriend who she has been with for a long time, and even if she didnt have one, i doubt she would have ever agreed to pose nude for me, the only friend she has with a popular website. shes a smart cookie and knows that accidents can happen. plus its hard to look at her clothed without passing out, i cant imagine what she’d look like in her birthday suit. it’d probably ruin everything.

but no you cannot have nude pics of karissa cuz i dont know anyone named karissa. dumbass.

but you can listen to danielle (pictured, middle) and i talk about her tumor which is part one of our interview