try not to suck

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a few times a year i speak to college journalists.

who knows why.

recently i Zoomed into a high school journalism class.

i said, look, im just a guy who lives in a van by the river, but i know this — so much of the world, so much of your competition are horrible at what they do.

they’re not into it. they only do it for the money. they dont study. they dont practice. they dont live and breathe it.

you will find yourself in jobs you dont care about. do me this favor. if you find yourself doing journalism half assedly, you either quit or write me

my email address is tony at tony pierce dot com.

and i will help you find another gig because there are so few journalism jobs out there these days that it’s so not cool for people to be taking up a slot that could be given to someone who really loves it. who reads newspapers, who reads books, who figures out how to get stories read, who figures out how to write and produce in interesting ways.

so if you are hating waking up in the morning to go to work i will help you get the job you really want.

this class sent me the best care package today. they gave me a shirt, a keychain and a postcard from their idyllic town. it made me think, wow, what did i say to them? cuz who knows when youre getting through to teens. theyre harder to read than girlfriends.

but now that i see this tshirt on theo epstein (pictured), one that i have but dont wear much because it never fit me well, i can just boil it down for them next time – try not to suck.

time goes so quickly.

i moved to california 36 years ago. it seems like yesterday. literally.

yes ive done shitloads and all of that, but i seriously remember clearly that first summer in santa monica. i was obsessed with learning everything i could about LA. everything seemed to ring a bell. every major street or town was something i had heard on TV or movies or read somewhere.

id go to a gas station and think, oh this is near UCLA, i wonder if Kareem ever pumped gas here?

little would i have guessed that one day i would launch a blog with him.

a blog that did not suck.

and the best part about that and other memories that i have about giving 100% — any time someone asks me about them, a smile comes to my face.

and a million funny stories.

do what you love and you’ll never stop smiling.

do you know i love you, i do

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over the past few days ive been the subject of the interview, which is weird for me, but ok

and when you dont really know whats coming you end up giving the weirdest examples in your answers

it’s also made me very grateful for the good life ive had

one guy was all, why arent you a millionaire by now?

and he would let up.

i was all, uh… that wasnt my goal?

one of the things i learned quickly when i moved to LA was there were some people who handled being hugely financially successful like that extremely well

but then there were the large majority that couldnt

youd go to college with their kids and even the kids would have really unhealthy relationships with money

so early on i was all

follow the love.

so ive worked at a gas station, ive sold beers at a baseball stadium, and i drove uber

of course ive had normal jobs also, but

if i was worth like a few million dollars would i really drive uber? it’s not particularly safe

as my mom would remind me nearly every night i did it.

and i did it for like five years.

also when you do the things you love you just feel better… physically.

the job i hated the most id be sick all the time, i even had to go to the doctor because it was so worrisome

and he said, you’re puking blood not because youre sick, that job just sucks.

turned out he was right.

i miss that doctor.

so yes, walking down memory lane with these people has made me grateful not just of the gigs but the people i got to work with.

most of my stories and fond memories are about what other people did or what other people taught me, usually indirectly.

i should write a book.

by the time i get to arizona

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this has been an incredible year.

tomorrow is friday the 13th. the last time we had a friday the 13th was in march.

march.

the month the plague began.

today california verified its 1 millionth covid case.

back in sweet home chicago the mayor is putting everyone in a 30 day time out.

people of the future, i dont know what to say about this.

it’s happening to us, but it’s happening in slow motion.

i know people who have gotten covid.

a former LAist editor in chief got it.

you probably know someone who got it too.

but because we dont know massive amounts of people who have died of it not enough people are panicking.

sometimes Actual Fear really helps.

last night we met a friend for dinner in Thai Town. she no longer lives in LA so you gotta say hi when you can. we ate outside in the freezing cold (50 degrees) in a parking lot, dining on some kick ass thai food under a heat lamp

and even though she had just gotten tested, it probably wasnt the smartest move. we’re educated people. we know better.

but humans are social people. and i dont know if it was the food or the company or the otherwise lack of social interaction among friends but afterwards we felt super good. buzzed almost.

and no we didnt drink a drop of booze.

good friends gabbing for 90 minutes is nice. seeing each others eyes is nice.

but so is living through the end of all of this.

my brother wants to have a socially distanced thanksgiving and i dont think thats a good idea

can you imagine if i got him sick and he never recovered?

id never recover.

so yes, people of the future, thats what life is like right now on Thursday the 12th

as we eagerly await for the grownups to return to the white house to fix this fucking shit.

the pete sousa movie is incredible

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i cried.

and it was inspiring.

one thing i have always admired with politicians is how they can remember peoples names.

if im ever in an office again i want to make a little game out of remembering everyones names because even though i try to be friendly with everyone, probably the greatest show of respect is to remember everyones names.

i just get so scared that i will say mary instead of juanita or something.

the other thing i loved about the film was Pete said he was on call 24/7 for 8 years.

it reminded me of this hollywood agent i watched a few interviews with.

he has a max of 30 clients and he has a simple rule with them, if he calls them and they don’t pick up or call back ASAP, it’s over between them.

likewise, even if he’s giving an interview, his ground rule is he will always pick up or text back ASAP if they contact him.

so even in his interviews he is checking his phone constantly.

because of that, he’s a renowned agent and people are fighting to be repped by him if someone falls off.

i’d like to be that reliable to someone.

i would like the people i work with feel like they are as important to me as if obama texted them.

why not?

even at my busiest, really, how many phone calls did i get?

it can be done.

thank you to the angels

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a vacation, a respite, a time out, a cool down.

i needed to control alt delete my shhhh

Ti esrever dna ti pilf, nwod gniht ym tup

Ti esrever dna ti pilf, nwod gniht ym tup.

my ma asked if we wanted to use her timeshare in palm springs and so many years ago i complained when she a) bought a time share and b) bought on in palm springs

but this was, to quote ferris bueller, so choice

it was an hour and forty minutes from my driveway

it was haunted

there were ducks.

there were clouds above with angels saying we love you tony

you too, amber.

the pools were warm the weather was hot

and after a few days everything cooled down and there was even some drizzle

but vacation drizzle like youd get in maui

just enough to clean off the sidewalks so you could draw new, more intense hopscotch games

amber and i looked each other in the eyes and expressed love for me

then we watched the election, then we turned off the election, then we turned it back on

that went on for several days.

then i turned on the Queens Gambit which may have been the second best decision of the week

or was it the sale priced salmon from the Palm Desert Albertson’s that had been driven out by Santa Monica Seafood?

we went back a few days later for another pound.

ridiculously good.

sometimes you get to draw a bath and just soak in it.

lights off

phone off.

just you and your stupid thoughts.

sometimes theres time and space and you get to let those thoughts have a little bit of a life

but only as long as a bubble at a zoo blown by a child

then its popped.

then more arrive.

then more.

finally one giant one emerges.

where did it come from? how did it get here?

that is not my beautiful thought.

it’s better.

the best thing about taking a bath after swimming is the water doesnt get dirty

you can just sit there for the entirety of the new ariana grande record

you can try to get bored but you’ll fail.

all those idealistic thoughts about the future, the present and the past get rolled up like dough and flattened on the cutting board and shaped like race cars.

amber woke up and saw me floating in the tub and was startled

are you alive? she asked.

way more than yesterday.

I accept blocked calls

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I’ll talk to strangers

I give money to the homeless

I’ll eat my chicken boneless.

When I first started working at the Oscars my niece was all do you know any YouTube stars

I’ve stopped drinking at bars.

We’ve had the highest infection rates all year

But because it’s Halloween all the pretty IG models are having parties

Dressing up

Drinking shots.

Never stop.

I’ll take a spam risk call.

Who cares any more.

That’s another person on the line another soul, another baby everyone gathered round when they were brought home

Another hope for the future.

Anthony? They always ask. Never Tony. That’s when you know it’ll be good.

Anthony I’m from mumble mumble echo

Where did you say?

Oh I’m from muffle mumble.

You try.

I try.

But answering these calls aren’t gonna make you any friends.

Plus you can’t even come over for pinochle. Cant do shit.

Why isn’t our President telling us about doctors and nurses around the land saving all these lives.

Everyone says oh sure millions got it but what about the death rate

As if they’re healing on their own.

No one heals on their own.

But I’ll keep answering the phone.

who loves the sun

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for some reason i wasn’t gonna vote.

why bother?

plus theres debate as to whether journalists should vote or not because what do you do if someone asks you who you voted for?

will that answer taint how people judge your work?

as if those of us who voted for someone a few years ago never say to ourselves, “well that was a dumb thing we did”

over the years ive made some bad votes that i wish i could take back.

hell, theres lots of things i would change if i had to do them over again, obvs choosing people to do a job would be one of them as well.

anyways today we went to dodger stadium to vote but for some reason, even though we’re just 5 days away from the end of the election, they weren’t doing voting there

come back tomorrow, the lady at the mouth of the parking lot said.

so we drove over to Staples Center

where they gave us a Lakers mask, a Kings pen, a Lakers and a Kings I VOTED sticker, and a guy even took a picture of amber and i in front of the step n repeat.

it was great being inside Staples. so many fond memories.

Lakers, Clippers games. so many concerts: Prince, No Doubt, Van Halen, Rihanna, Taylor Swift, Lady Gaga, Bruuuuuce… so many.

Afterwards we went to Rite Aid to get a prescription and I talked to a homeless lady who was later thrown out.

“Where are we,” she asked.

I said, “we are on the border of Los Feliz and Hollywood.”

“No we aren’t,” she said. “We’re in the desert. Like Las Vegas.”

I said, “if we were in Vegas I wouldn’t be paying state income tax. Also, if you walk right out that door and take 30 steps to the left you will be on Hollywood Blvd. Because you are in Hollywood.”

She said, “no. We are in Las Vegas.”

She was so beautiful. Her skin was flawless. Her pants were dirty but her eyes and her skin were that of a college girl. A freshman.

She said, “I am trying to get money for food.”

I said, “if you panhandle in this casino they’ll throw you out, so put this in your pocket right away” and i gave her a dollar.

Then I said, “go out the door, turn left. Walk 30 steps. That’s Hollywood Blvd. Then walk about a mile. Don’t stop. You’ll see a Tommy’s hamburger stand. It’s Red and Yellow. There are some homeless tents in front of it. They have flags of many countries near the tents. Don’t stop. A few buildings past that is the Salvation Army. They will get you somewhere to stay.”

She said “that way is dangerous.”

I said, “not to scare you, but this casino is way more dangerous than where I am sending you.”

don’t stop.

my birthday week was fantastic, thanks for asking

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on the Day itself i drove around the Valley looking for baseball cards

then Chris and Amber took me to deep dish at Ginos East in Studio City

and the crazy part of that was we all had to sit outside because of COVID and these other Chicago transplants were out there too.

it wasnt cold but it wasnt warm. but after a beer or two everyone was chatty and happy and super grateful to be eating Ginos pizza

it tastes the same, though it seemed smaller.

so i met some new friends, we exchanged business cards and lots of smiles.

midwestern people are the greatest.

afterwards i went on Facebook and soooo many people had wished me well. i think 200? what the.

and some of the people said the nicest things. i wanted my mom to read them. i wanted to say, look what theyre saying about your boy!

when i finally opened her gift — there were baseball cards in there! mom came through.

lately ive been trying to trade with people because finding them is so hard and ebay is sorta a ripoff because often the shipping cost more than the cards. so trading is better.

one guy i reached out to through his youtube video was maybe 13? so i didnt want his parents to think i was taking advantage so i arranged a trade that was super lopsided in his favor. and then he kept asking for more and more.

we’ll see if he comes through. i hope so. trading might be the way to go.

then yesterday i had a nice talk with my neighbor and her best friend.

this pandemic is hitting everyone hard. everyone is fighting with their loved ones and spouses and roommates. this one woman was telling me how she cries all the time now because of this and that.

but mostly it comes down to how the government hasnt taken care of the people.

i totally expected that because this was an election year, the GOP would have done a lot more than doled out one measly check a half year ago, but nope.

they’re acting as if rushing to reopen hasn’t led to second and third spikes in many US cities and states.

they act as if the people aren’t super confused by what they see the White House do as opposed to what it says.

meanwhile every week the White House is getting sick. so wtf.

future people, let it be known, our federal government treated this pandemic like a deadbeat dad treats his kids: they ignored it, threw some money at it early on, and then basically pretended that it didnt exist.

meanwhile the kid suffered, got angry… and might be scarred forever.

dear tony, what is the weirdest thing about you?

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wow.

that is an amazing question. let me take a walk and think about this.

ok, back.

i figured it out.

i have a hard time finishing things.

it doesnt matter if it is a slice of pizza, a cold Coke, a novel, or a freelance assignment.

i dont think its an ADD thing. i really don’t know what it is.

if you have dinner with me it’s the most noticeable because i love to talk and listen and eat slowly because when i was young i would get super bad stomach aches if i ate fast. so now i eat slow and painfully slow at restaurants.

but no way do i finish the meal there. unless it’s sushi. but not in n out, not mcdonalds, not The Pantry, not even pho or ramen. i always need a doggy bag and everyone always makes fun of me and they should.

i have worked for Los Angeleno for over a year now and when i look back it’s a miracle that i finished over 100 pieces because i’ll write something and it will seem like — to me — that it took forever even if it only took two days. and the hardest part is always the end.

in part because i used to pride myself on having really good endings on things.

i once had this writing teacher who said the worst thing you could do to a reader was bore them. so i took that a step further and theorized that the best thing you could do to them is reward them for making it to the end. so you better have a damn good ending for their ass. so id try extra hard to stick the landing.

lately i have not really done that. sometimes i’ll get lucky, but i feel like in the past i had a higher success rate at having a killer ending.

also of late i have had a very hard time doing freelance work. my mind is elsewhere. is it COVID? is it Trump? is it this crazy lockdown? the lack of concerts ive been able to attend?

for some reason i just cannot do the simplest things no matter how much people offer to pay me. all i think about is Los Angeleno and baseball cards. i dont even watch that much tv any more.

and for damn sure if im watching a TV series i wont finish it unless i totally have to.

because the only thing i hate worse than the DH is spoilers.