fascinate me. especially in perfectly good places like the xbi.

lemme put it this way: the xbi is so fucking tight and perfect that you can count the mistakes that ive made this year on one hand.

think about that.

i have a voice activated email system. i just archived this years emails and i stored away 7,500 emails. thats 25 a day or one every twenty minutes.

that doesnt include all the phone calls that i get or all the regular conversations or meetings that i participate in.

so if theres that much communication going on each day, and less than 5 things fell between the cracks, wouldnt you think that the powers that be would not only say, shit man, nice work, but they might even try to find out what the secret was?

they dont wanna find out what the secret was. and if you ask them they will tell you that i just got lucky this year. even though last year youd have a hard time counting my mistakes on two hands.

but no, they dont want to find out the secret of my success, in fact they want to alter the way that i do things even though they are well aware of the fact that ive totally dominated this year.

so much so that the smile that was wiped off my face has returned

with vengance.

little known fact about the xbi: turnover is superhigh.

nobody that was here two years ago is still here. thats how hard it is and how quickly people realize that its a thankless gig.

some people even take paycuts and demotions to leave.

as a matter of fact, no one who was here when i started has a better, higher-paying job within the xbi once they left the department that im in.

so is Chopper One to blame? is it cursed? does it mean that any team member affiliated with Chopper One who wants an actual career should quit and join up with some civilian operation?

probably.

especially when people who can, alter what is working.

in fast-paced situations where mistakes can and do happen each day, i do not recommend changing shit that is working fine.

which is why if i was the Cubs i would have re-signed Clement.

it is also why i blog every day, twice a day:

cuz its working for me.

jaylex + sk smith + zulieka + miss poop

i wonder what she wants.

i hope she knows she can have anything.

i hope all of you know that.

i knew kristin when she was just nineteen she reminds me. i knew her when she was just starting up madpony with her sister.

now shes (still) a big star on the web, and i still get hits from her blog.

shes better than me in so many ways and i dont blame the world.

her life is a real one and its interesting and madpony is just the tip of the iceberg of her accomplishments and im glad ive gotten to know her a little more than than just from her blog.

our oklahoman is super sweet, shes smart, she works hard, shes a great friend, shes a good sister, shes a great daughter, she does pretty much everything right, and she does it in that hot southern accent.

just like the ramones was mostly johnny, madpony was mostly kristin so we probably shouldnt ask for more from her, but it wouldnt suck to get a comeback.

i still dont know enough about sorority girl life in 2005, or what its like to go to a game in norman while their team is top rated and their fans are insane.

or what things are like in her town now that they have to take on southern cal in the orange bowl where they will probably lose.

im glad to learn about shopping and shoes and things like that, but i want even more.

would it be so hard to ask for a photo essay sometime soon?

we’re lucky to have what we have, and you must admit, there arent many kristins.

happy birthday baby.

your biggest fan,

tony

when adrants met kristin + whats your damage + beautiful mistake

it sunk in this weekend that anna is married, for real this time, and’s never coming home.

i dont know why it took so long for me to get it. probably because i have the greatest force field imaginable.

other day this dude was hating on me. someone who i should care about hating on me, but i didnt care. i mocked his hate. i fed off it. i literally turned to rubber and he to glue. it was frightening.

anna called on saturday in the best mood ive heard her in a long time. and i want the best for her. of course i do.

but theres a part of me that still thinks that im the best for her. theres part of me that thinks, shit, astrology alone tells us that im the best for her. theres a part of me that thinks, definately in the sack im the best for her.

she heard how i felt, my silence, and she began to cry, and said, maybe i know whats the best for me, and i said how do you say nonsense in russian.

she laughed.

then cried.

then i wanted to cry.

we hung up and i went through the short list of guys she went out with after me and how she sounded after each first date with them

and i thought, anyone had a chance with her as long as they werent me.

its ideas like that that’ll kill you the big bottle of rum said

redesign the wall, the hookah smokesignaled

use me moaned the porn

but you must keep the sabbath holy

so i just did my laundry

and drove all night

with the radio turned

hella low

17 seconds + rampant + britcoal

that the dude in the classic carol “I’ll Be Home For Christmas” doesnt actually get to go home for Christmas?

“I’ll Be Home For Christmas”

(Gannon, Kent)

I’ll be home for Christmas

You can count on me

Please have some snow and mistletoe

And presents by the tree

Christmas eve will find me

Where the love light gleams

Oh, I’ll be home for Christmas

If only in my dreams

My darling, Christmas eve will find me

Right where the love light gleams

And I’ll be home for Christmas

If only in my dreams

the Library of Congress tells us:

On October 4, 1943, Crosby recorded “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” with the John Scott Trotter Orchestra for Decca Records. Within about a month of its being copyrighted the song hit the music charts and remained there for eleven weeks, peaking at number three. The following year, the song reached number nineteen on the charts.

It touched a tender place in the hearts of Americans, both soldiers and civilians, who were then in the depths of World War II, and it earned Crosby his fifth gold record.

“I’ll Be Home for Christmas” became the most requested song at Christmas U.S.O. shows in both Europe and the Pacific and Yank, the GI magazine, said Crosby accomplished more for military morale than anyone else of that era.

the ohio vote was hacked + welch blogs from france + mc brown

outside of the usa one day, it will be amsterdam.

ive visited three times and have only had great times there.

so when our dutchgirl, justagirl, asked today what movies she should rent since she finds herself in the wonderful dilema of having to see fine films, i made a quickie little list of flicks that she might not have seen.

although she probably has.

the trick is to not just pick great movies, but ones that people probably havent seen before, and ones that might be at a video store in holland.

sadly some of these probably wont be there, but you never know.

1. Buffalo ’66

2. Gummo

3. Brazil

4. My Life As A Dog

5. His Girl Friday

6. My Man Godfrey (’57)

7. The General (’27)

8. Joe Versus The Volcano

9. Don’t Look Back (’67)

10. Starstruck (’82)

11. Welcome to the Dollhouse

12. Party Girl

13. Rushmore

14. Lost In Translation

15. 400 Blows

16. The King of Comedy

17. Being John Malkovich

18. Diner

19. Do The Right Thing

20. American History X

21. Time Bandits

22. A Clockwork Orange

23. Raising Arizona

24. This Is Spinal Tap

25. Animals Are Beautiful People

evil urls rule! + raymi + doc searls

i need to get a f.a.q.

heres excerpts from los angeles model/fashion designer tila’s faq:

Question: What is the strangest thing you have ever been offered by a fan?

Tila: Well there was this guy that kept e-mailing me and asking me to sell him my used tampon. I mean, I’ve recieved a lot of strange offers from people but that was totally out of this world! I mean…that’s just disgusting! What does some strange guy want to do with my blood? Even worse…my period blood in the tampon!!! COME ON PEOPLE!

Question: Wow that’s fucken sick! What did you tell him?

Tila: Umm…I told him to give me a million dollars! haha! I’m just kidding….of course I told him to fuck off! The all time classic Tila-line….haha!

Question: How come you’re so short but you have the personality of a 50 ft giant??

Tila: hahaha! Well that’s because I have what you would call “compressed anger.” haha! It’s like…all my feelings and my personality alone has been compressed into this little person so I guess that’s why I’m a little firecracker….I’m ready to explode anytime!

Question: So are you EVER calm?

Tila: FUCK YEA! Most people just don’t get to see it much…but actually I am a really sweet girl…but that’s what makes it special because only special people get to see a sweet and soft side of me…well actually sometimes I accidently let that side slip out and well….umm….what was I saying? (sorry I was watching porn.)

Question: So just wanted to know if you were still practicing abstinence? From the last time I read up about you, you said you were no longer having sex. How’s it holdin up for ya?

Tila: HA-HA! NOOOOOO WAYYYY! haha! Oh man…I tried not having sex for about…hmm…how long was it? Oh I forgot but it felt like years! I tried for a little while and it was great while it lasted but I couldn’t stand it any longer! With my stressful lifestyle I cannot afford to quit my luxuries such as sex and smoking, however I want to let you guys know that I have quit smoking and it’s been a while. I don’t ever wanna go back but I still have major urges to smoke. I feel a lot healthier though and I smell good now! I also don’t hack up green slime every morning anymore…haha!

Question: So how’s everything going with you?

Tila: How do you think it’s going you dipshit?!

Question: Tila, my gf is really into you and we would like to have a threesome with you. Please let me know if you are interested because I would love to have you join us!

Tila: Hey dude…fuck off!

Question: Can you cook? If so what do you cook?

Tila: I didn’t used to know how to cook but lately…oh man…I’ve been cooking up a storm! I’m so happy! I think I’m turning gay because all I wanna do now is stay home and cook! I even started baking cookies! hahahaha! oh man…Tila the party girl staying home to cook, clean, and bake cookies??? Oh man…WTF is happening to me????? AHHHHHH! I’m turning into a house-wife! haha! Oh wait..I can’t be because I am not married…so therefore I am just a fat pig who eats all day long. That’s my main motivation behind cooking and how I got started. Since being on my own….I get so damn hungry all the time that I couldn’t take it anymore…so I went out and started cooking up meals so I can eat 8 times a day! Wooohoooo! Food is like….better than sex.

Question: How come you never sleep?

Tila: Beats the fuck out of me! I gave up on asking myself that and trying to figure out why I can’t sleep. Now all I do is stay up as long as I want and sleep whenever…I figure, hey, I don’t have a life like most people do, therefore my sleeping habits will not be the same either. I live in my own world and so fuck following the rest of the world! My body will sleep when it chooses to do so. Besides…the daytime sucks anyway because everybody in the daytime can go suck a mean cock! Day people SUCK! Nightcrawlers…RULE!

Question: Why do you have such a foul mouth for such a pretty girl?

Tila: Hey..fuck you! Who said I was pretty?? haha!

Question: Do seem to be a loner…how is that working out for you?

Tila: I’ve always been a loner, and I think in the end it works out great for me. I’m alone 90 percent of the time and that gives me a lot more time to umm….damn…what the fuck do I do all that time with myself???

Hmmm…..Ya know what? I have no idea…haha! But I do enjoy being alone. Surrounding yourself with too many people all the time can slow you down and everybody just gets in the way. My mind is a lot clearer when I’m alone and I’m more self-aware. But when I get bored the other 10 percent of the time I usually call up one person, and that one person is usually a guy that I shag. haha! That’s my idea of fun! Work, work…then shag.

Question: Do you like socks?

Tila: Yes because they make great hand puppets and are also great to wipe the cum off of your belly! hahahaa!

Question: We all want to know the dirty scoop! Who is your least favorite model?

Tila: Do you really wanna know?

Yes!

Tila: Ok…Natasha Yi. She’s not a very nice girl at all. Scumb-bag sounds more like it. I’m not talking trash either. Just telling the truth. Besides…why would I need to talk trash or lie?? Yea..that’s what I thought. Just telling you from my experiences. Hey at least I’m honest and I actually have the balls to post this up and not be fake like a lot of people. If I don’t like someone I will let it be known. I’m not the type of person to be nice to your face and talk trash behind your back…nuh-uh…not my style at all……

xtx + dougie gyro + kool keith

that im the biggest nerd, cuz i am.

i also have the greatest friends. and one of them works for the cable network E!

she gave me a celebrities uncensored tshirt a few years ago and lets me know every year that brooke burke is signing her calendar.

this year was no different, except i got to meet the producer of one of my favorite tv shows of all time, the howard stern show.

after a quickie busride i got to meet mr stuart berkowitz who edits all of the stern shows that you see on e!

i wanted to take him out for drinks but he had plans. oh well, it was nice to at least take a picture with him and then stand in line and get the new brooke burke calendar and take my annual picture with her.

its funny cuz i never know what to ask people to sign, and now with ebay its weird just to ask them to autograph it, but thats really all i want. i dont need them to write anything special.

i guess if i was really keeping it real i would have had her write something like

to the biggest nerd i know

or

i have two kids and i look better than you ever will

or

please stop stalking me, seriously, youre scary

instead she just wrote

to tony,

brooke.

shes so cool.

know who else is cool? raymi.

and finally shes being exploited properly.

i went to her page today and saw she was linked to a new thing. i think its canadian. shes giving out free advice.

god i love socialism.

bill gates got us giant anti-spyware for christmas + zulieka didnt blow me + write hard has vida

happy birthday nomatt!

tonight 12/17

peter case + dave alvin, dipiazza’s restaurant

black eyed peas, key club

slayer + mastadon + killswitch engage, universal

jimmy smith, hallenbeck’s general store

taylor dayne, vault 360

tomorrow 12/18

stevie wonder + alicia keys + ziggy marley + angie stone, forum

marilyn manson, wiltern

chaka kahn, orpheum

brian setzer, universal

betty buckley, cinegrill

sunday 12/19

marilyn manson, wiltern

lit, el rey

monday 12/20

marilyn manson, wiltern

turbonegro + eagles of death metal, house of blues

tuesday 12/21

trick daddy, vault 360

the muffs + ronnie spector, house of blues

grandmaster flash + biz markie, conga room

stan ridgeway, largo

the like, the viper

el vez, knitting factory

wednesday 12/22

ozomalti + kinky, disney hall

thursday 12/23

keb mo, disney hall

matt costa, the echo

big flounder + maizzy + the holywriter