bon, who hadnt seen malcolm since 1980, gave him a hug

a nice long one.

malcolm had been suffering for years of dementia

which is torture for a creative soul.

bon was all, i wanna introduce you to someone

and there he was, jimi hendrix

who handed him a thick 1949 Gibson ES-175, the first Gibson electric guitar to feature a Florentine cutaway beneath the neck, giving easy access to all 20 frets.

it also had a carved rosewood bridge.

the men plugged into three story high marshall stacks.

john bonham sat down behind the drums

and lemmy strapped on his bass.

bon counted it out and they broke into Highway to Hell

sarcastically, since they were in Heaven. surrounded by all the greats, many of whom always loved AC/DC and malcolm’s contribution to music, not just rock or hard rock, but damn good music you sing along to in the car

or scream at the football game.

shy little malcolm young, long hair over his eyes, peeks up every now and then watching the angels and saints

tap their feet

and welcome one of their own,

home.

can someone ask AC/DC WTF re: Back in Black song order

to me the story of Back in Black is one of the greatest miracles in all of rock

because how do you lose your lovable lead singer in 1979 on the heels of your hottest record to date (Highway to Hell) where you sell out arenas around the world,

audition new singers, find one (relatively unknown Brian Johnson), have him co-write with you and the very next year,

it turns out in 8 weeks during a typhoon in the Islands, you’ve made the greatest hard rock album of all time

the 2nd best selling record in history next to Thriller.

that shouldn’t happen. your 7th album shouldn’t have so many great songs.

Consider The Eagles, who also knew how to write songs and sell records, their 7th album was Long Road Out of Eden.

of course there are exceptions (Floyd, Dylan, Stones) BUT STILL AFTER ALL OF THOSE OLD BON SCOTT ERA RIFFS YOU STILL HAVE ALL THESE NEW ONES IN YOUR BACK POCKET MALCOLM?

but my biggest question is a real one: what the fuck is What Do You Do For Money Honey and Givin The Dog A Bone

and Let ME PUT MY LOVE INTO YOU of all songs

batting 3, 4, 5 on the 2nd best selling album of all times?

Isn’t it super obvious that you begin Back in Black with the title cut,

then that goes into the super obvs pop single of Shook Me, yada yada

you flip over the record and there’s Hells Bells and Shoot to Thrill followed by the filler?

How is it inside-out?

How is this never discussed?

How has Angus never been asked “was there a fuck up at ATCO?”

Because that would be fantastic.

Instead here we are 1,000 years later and I’ve gotta figure out how Shook Me All Night Long ended up being the 7th Song of the 7th Son and

oooooooooooooooooooh

genius

like many my age, Angus Young is my favorite guitarist

angus young caricature because i’m the luckiest man alive, i got to see the Back in Black tour when i was in high school.

i was blown away.

duh.

ive followed them ever since, ive seen them maybe 10 times since and loved them with all of my heart.

the band has an amazing history and part of their uniqueness is, for whatever reason, they don’t play with other bands.

angus has never laid down a solo for any other band.

and brian johnson, only once, sang with another band live after he joined ac/dc, and that was with Billy Joel (!) onstage because billy wanted to do Shook Me All Night Long with the singer during one of his Madison Square Garden shows.

brian also was on a Sting song once but that was so bizarre that even in a blog that says “nothing in here is true” dare i even mention it since the reader might think this whole thing is farcical.

sadly it is not.

yesterday AC/DC put out a cold-hearted press release wishing Johnson farewell. they said that it was due to doctors orders. they claim medical professionals said Brian could permanently lose his hearing if he continued to tour with the hard rock group that he has fronted since he did the impossible: fill the shoes of Bon Scott in 1980.

not only did Brian take over for Bon, but his debut with AC/DC was Back in Black, one of the best selling records in the history of records which sold over 50 million units world wide.

my interns are telling me Back in Black is the 2nd biggest record of all time next to Thriller.

and then he fronted the group for 36 years, every record they made with brian sold millions of copies, every tour was a mammoth world wide arena filling moneymaker

how do you say goodbye to your singer with a short press release after all of that?

if angus wanted to do something he’d never done before (play with a new singer for a few gigs) did he really need to fire Brian to do it?

adios brian ac/dcgranted, things are tough for Angus right now, his brother and long time co-writer and BFF malcolm has slipped into dementia and is close to death.

AC/DC’s latest record Rock or Bust is the lowest selling album the band ever released. barely a half million units were sold in the US despite headlining Coachella last year and filling baseball stadiums around the nation.

at 61 years old he doesnt fly around the stage as fast as he once did

which must be depressing.

but could it be as depressing as being kicked out of the band and replaced by a screeching Axl Rose who is clearly only doing it to a) bring attention to the Guns n Roses “reunion” tour b) avoid Slash c) distract himself from making the Guns show the best it can be.

meanwhile Brian is saying he was kicked out. that as soon as he told the band what the doc said that they didn’t even listen to him when he told them that the doc wanted to figure out a way to work with the issue. all his stuff was shipped to his door and it was over.

bye felicia.

so i have mixed feelings about last night at coachella when during the guns n roses headlining performance they brought out angus for two songs.

of course it’s great to see him and hear him and have him back in the desert where they rocked two, two-hour sets last year. and despite the fact that axl didn’t know parts of Whole Lotta Rosie, he did sound good.

but it all felt like a royal F-U to loveable brian

how am i supposed to like this, let a lone love it?

and why wasn’t Slash allowed a solo?

is angus losing his mind too?

is angus not a nice guy?

did malcolm balance him out and thats why we never heard or saw any of this?

now i gotta buy Brians book from 2009 and see if there are any clues.

i’ll have plenty of money because now i wont be buying any tickets to see ACDC with Axl fronting it

who i would replace Brian Johnson with

The-Darkness-Justin-HawkinsLong time AC/DC crooner, Brian Johnson, has been told by doctors that if he continues fronting the hard rock group he will go deaf.

Instead of retiring, now that his brother Malcolm Young is back home due to dementia, and his drummer Phil Rudd can’t leave Australia due to bizarre criminal allegations, lead guitarist/atraction Angus Young seemingly still wants to travel the world blowing the roof off the mother.

So here’s who I think should be the next singer of my favorite rock group

10. Glen Danzig – he’s probably a little too heavy for AC/DC but maybe that gruff could add a little edge to the aging group

9. Justin Hawkins (The Darkness) – this dude was born to front a real rock band. Don’t get me wrong, I think The Darkness is incredible. But because it’s sooooo derivative of 80s hair metal groups, many think they’re a joke. I believe. Justin is one of the few that could hit the high notes and the idea of a triple guitar attack on numbers like “Shoot to Thrill” or “Bad Boy Boogie” is fascinating.

2014-12-27-AndrewW.K.byJonathanThorpe2013APPROVED8. Bruce Dickinson (Iron Maiden) – there aren’t many singers who could add even more power to AC/DC anthems. Bruce could. And he could fly the damn plane.

7. Kid Rock – If there is any complaint about the dynamics of AC/DC music it’s that it’s one dimensional. Kid Rock could add a layer of Southern rock and warmth that hasn’t been there since Bon Scott died in 1980. Imagine what he could add with piano on tunes like “Have A Drink On Me” and “The Jack”.  And what about harmonica on “It’s a Long Way to the Top” instead of bagpipe?

6. Andrew W.K. – The only downside of Andrew W.K. leading AC/DC is he’d be so great at it that kids would think that he wrote all the songs. And his energy might kill Angus.

5.  Ad Rock & Mike D. – Everyone loved the original mashup of Aerosmith and Run DMC. What if you were treated to a night led by the remaining members of Beastie Boys with the live accompaniment of AC/DC on songs that maybe might include some new freestyle verses.

4. Kim Gordon – Some say Joan Jett is the perfect female singer/guitarist to front AC/DC but I’d rather have Kim Gordon who would give a spookier take on “She’s Got Balls” and “Inject The Venom”.

3.  Jack Black – It would be the funniest AC/DC show you’ve ever seen, that’s for sure.

2.  Jack White – It would be the sexiest AC/DC show you’ve ever seen and the dual lead guitar duals would be legendary.

1. Zack de la Rocha (Rage Against the Machine) – hopefully they’d play a half hour of Rage tunes as an encore.

Zack de la Rocha