theres a lot of asian hate going on rn and i dont get it

and i dont even know what to do about it.

Sass is getting mad on her social media that “allies” aren’t speaking out, but i dont know how i can help the cause. but i want to.

so i will tell you about the first asian girl i ever fell in love with.

her name was Ae and we met in Switzerland.

a girl i met on a bus in Iowa, Risë, and I had become pen pals. She did a year abroad and invited me to visit her. i was just about to turn 21 and had nothing better to do so i said hell yes. this was so long ago they didnt even have color film.

as soon as i met Ae, Rise’s roommate, it was love at first sight. she was so smart and so sarcastic and funny and because she established immediately that she had a boyfriend, for some reason the tension only got hotter and hotter bc there was nothing we could do about the fact that we were both madly in love with each other.

which is what i told myself. but who knows.

her french was amazing, actually both of theirs was, and we took a train to Paris and spent 5 days there. i was the butt of eveyrones jokes because i was ridiculous and my french was so bad. but i tried. and as i tried everyone laughed and laughed. then we went to lyon. or did we do the opposite. who knows. Ae was incredible.

she was the first stranger i connected with immediately and it never unlocked.

so much so that when we parted ways and i took the train to Oktoberfest i met a pretty girl there who just wanted to get drunk and make out and… even at 21 i was like, nah. because i had had the real thing, whatever it was, down there in gay par-eee.

and that thing was intellectual stimulation which for me is the bullseye. the heart of the matter.

back in those days there was no email so i called her once or twice and we exchanged a few letters but im pretty sure when she got back to america she married her guy because i gave up on her quickly and that could have been the only reason why.

anyways ae was incredible for that week and i even remember her man’s name, thats how obsessed i was with her.

magic’ll do that.

since then i have known and loved lots of people, including asians. we are all people. we all want the same things: to be loved and respected and allowed to live.

i dont see why thats such a hard thing for people to understand.

the older i get the more i rethink how i feel about a certain type of american.

and i wish they had met the people that i have had the chance to break fromage et pain with outside the louvre while struggling to open a bottle of wine with a swiss army knife.

and i thank God every day for letting me know all these reflection of light.

when i was in high school there was this bus

and it took high school seniors to a college in iowa where you only had to take one class a day for about month.

you were in that class for like three hours a day, maybe four, every day

when you went home you did your homework for a few hours and after that you were done for the day.

cornell college.

then at the end of the month you’d take your finals and then youd get a few days off

next month youd start a new class.


when i was 17 i knew i wasnt going to no cornell college in iowa, i knew i was coming to californee

but i was intrigued to be able to spend the night in iowa at a real college.

none of my friends from my high school wanted to come with, and that was fine with me.

on the bus i saw these two beautiful girls.

one was named rise the other was tracey. i was shy, but on that bus i said to myself fuckit, im moving to california in a few months, what do i have to lose?

and we talked all the way to dumb cornell college and all the way back the next day.

i was instantly in love with tracey (not pictured), but i kept in touch with both of them via the post. we’d send letters and cards and phone once in a while. what have you.

right before i turned 21 i had some time on my hands and rise was in switzerland at some fancy college and she said come out and we can travel around europe a little.

and sure enough i had made enough money selling tvs on commission that i said, fine!

and rise had this korean roomate named ae, who just happened to be from iowa, and i fell in love with her immediately. pictured. we all traveled around switzerland for a little while then paris. we spoke so much french i started dreaming in french. it was loco.

then the girls had to go back to college and i kept roaming europe. first germany and then scandanavia.

best month of my life until october / early november 2016

and it all started with a bus ride

to nowhere

for no good reason