i see my shrink today and we’re talking about emotions

so i finished inside out and now i am seeing if, through my 20 years of writing this blog, if i have mentioned any of the emotions:

happiness / happy – 1,769
sadness / sad – 1,355
fear / afraid – 795
anger – 594
surprise – 385
angry – 155
disgust – 141

this is out of nearly 13,000 posts

what does this say about me?

i hope i find out


thinking about emotions

the tricky thing about me and emotions are, i don’t think i have a problem with them.

but when my shrink said i should think about them, i didn’t even know what to think about.

and i sure as hell couldnt even list them. so here they are… and i’m a bit surprised.

  1. happiness – easy. that is what i strive for all the time, even in here a blog where nothing’s true
  2. sadness – every Cub fan knows this one by heart, which is why we develop habits early on
  3. fear – the only thing i fear is not going to Heaven. everything else can kiss my ass. which is probably why the xbi recruited me.
  4. disgust – i didnt even know that was a primary emotion, but i guess it makes sense. things are gross and people can often be very disappointing so, ok learned something here.
  5. anger – yep thats an easy one.
  6. surprise – again, never knew that was a main emotion but good. im glad it is. i like being pleasantly surprised.

so lets dig in deeper with that last one.

some surprises i love, some i hate.

i like to be surprised in movies, with endings of stories, or learning nice things about people who i had low expectations for.

i dont like surprises like im being fired or i owe the feds a bunch of cash, or my mechanic has retired.

overall i think most of the surprises in my life have been positive ones. naturally some were terrible but im still playing with the house’s money so far.

probably the best surprises for me have been when people have said very nice things to me. or dropped their panties. or had no panties. women are weirdly full of surprises and sometimes they can deliver you ones you havent ever expected. we are very different, men and women, so i shouldnt be that shocked, but again, often i have been met with more good surprises than crazy ones.

but — and maybe this is where fear comes in — are the good surprises drying up? maybe not. did i tell you about the sweetest series of texts i got from a woman from my past? she said the nicest things and i sincerely thought she had zero energy on me once she got hitched. but then out of the blue last week a rainstorm of niceness was showered on me. me?

i have so many questions if i make it to heaven.

hell, i have questions about this assignment. but i guess step one about thinking about emotions is defining what they are and we just did that so class dismissed for the day.

ps: i do have 20 years of blog posts on this bad boy, now that we know the terms, how interesting would it be if i documented how often i used any of those six emotional words?