i failed again this weekend

last weekend i tried, this weekend i did better but still failed.

it’s damn near impossible to not go on twitter or instagram or facebook

for me, at least

i mean i wasnt on it long – about an hour for the weekend but the goal was zero

i was procrastinating.

so next week lets try to make it less than ahalf hour.

also a bunch of stuff went down and i wanted to feed the Los Angeleno twitter account.

also its a habit.

a weird weird habit.

tonight i finished a story that i thought up today and who knows maybe people will like it maybe they wont.

all i know is i thunk it up, did it and it’s done.

maybe it’s easy for you to do that but lately it’s been soooo hard.

all weekend i was working on a thing for Sass but my mind

what if i need adderall?


for some reason that scares me.

i did succeed at something though. i won the toughest fantasy league i am in.

i think for 10 years ive played in this league and never won.

whats weird about this championship series is are manyboth of our teams couldnt hit over .200. we both struck out like crazy.

his complete game was the Worst, it was a double header game, so his pitcher only had to pitch 6 innings AND HE LOST

i would have been so pissed if i lost by 1 point because he got a CG out of such a sham.

thank God my pitchers were on fire.

whats really weird about this win was i wasnt even in the draft and i only kept like 3 of the players the computer picked for me.

whatever = W

my team was stolen from me tonight, ladies and gentlemen


see that team? see how great that team is?

it used to be better.

last night i drafted that team in probably the greatest Auction Draft performance i’ve ever done.

in a 20 team league.

i let them go for all the high priced talent, spending soooo much money on this guy and that guy

and then i jumped in and brought home the world.

it was a Hitters Only league which should have tipped me off that this was not being run with someone with a full love of the game

nor of the sportsmanship of Fantasy Sports

because at around 6pm i was alerted that my team had been had been hijacked


Continue reading

omg the busblog yahoo fantasy baseball leagues have been created!

League ID#: 457305
League Name: busblog33
Password: blogger
Draft Type: Live Standard Draft
Draft Time: Mon Mar 22 7:30pm PDT

League ID#: 457247
League Name: busblog2010
Password: blogger
Draft Type: Live Standard Draft
Draft Time: Sat Mar 27 12:00pm PDT

League ID#: 457293
League Name: busblogleague2
Password: blogger
Draft Type: Live Standard Draft
Draft Time: Sun Mar 28 12:00pm PDT

hey tony are you going to host any yahoo fantasy hoops leagues this year?

busblog league #1
live draft: Sat 10/10 @ noon pacific
password is “blogger”

busblog league #2
live draft: Sun 10/11 @ noon pacific
password is “blogger”

busblog league #3
live draft: Sat 10/24 @ noon pacific
password is “blogger”

karisa invited me to go to the fantasy factory

taylor swift at whole foodson friday and it was sponsored by Monster energy and it was the x games post party

so i said fine.

then i thought better for it all.

she told me she had two single gfs who loved the books i had written. turned out karisa has them laying around her home. not the girls, the books.

but the problem was they were both asian. now i like asian girls as much as the next guy, maybe more. but the last two girls i was serious about (or leaning on being serious) were both korean. which is asian. and both of those deals went horribly wrong.

i am still probably a little scarred.

and scurred.

so i didnt go. instead i hung around the rooftop hot tub of my bud and stared off into the deepest darkest night.

just then a little voice whispered in my beer. or ear. or bear.

“your man bruce springsteen is playing in your old home town on your mamas birthday.”

sweet home chicago?

“yes! and you should go.”

but my momma doesnt love bruuuuuuce

“yes but that minnesota girl does. and best of all, she now lives an hour away from chicago.”

the little voice was not only all-knowing, but super chatty. wth!

still i was undecided.

“bruce is playing Born to Run in its entirety on that night. take the poor girl. and lose some weight.”

and after an email, i had a date.

last busblog yahoo fantasy baseball league drafts in 18 minutes

League ID#: 189773
League Name: busblog3
Password: blogger
Custom League URL: http://baseball.fantasysports.yahoo.com/league/busblogthree
Season Type: Full
Draft Type: Live Draft
Draft Time: Sun Mar 29 12:00pm PDT [ Add to My Calendar ]
Max Teams: 16
Scoring Type: Head-to-Head
Player Universe: All baseball
New Players Become Available: As soon as Yahoo! adds them
Max Moves: No maximum
Max Trades: No maximum
Trade Reject Time: 2
Trade End Date: August 16, 2009
Waiver Time: 2 days
Can’t Cut List Provider: None
Trade Review: Commissioner
Post Draft Players: Follow Waiver Rules
Max Acquisitions per Week: No maximum
Min Innings Pitched: 25
Weekly Deadline: Daily – Tomorrow
Start Scoring on: Week 1
Playoffs: Week 23, 24 and 25 (6 teams)
Roster Positions: C, 1B, 2B, 3B, SS, IF, LF, CF, RF, OF, Util, SP, SP, SP, RP, RP, P, BN, BN, BN, BN, BN, DL, DL
Stat Categories: GP, R, H, HR, RBI, SB, CS, BB, K, E, AVG, OBP, SLG, IP, W, L, CG, SHO, SV, HR, BB, K, HLD, ERA, WHIP, K/9, BSV

dawn is taking a poll

dawndawn is taking a poll on what fantasy she should write down for this blog, and more than a few women writers have asked me for an example, but fortunately a decent submission was sent in this morning by ms. svensa swenson of eu claire, wisconsin.

pizza boy came home from a hard day of delivering pies.

his teen exgirlfriend was busy doing teen things,

his busty other exgirlfriend was drinking with her coworkers on the wesssssside,

his cuban lust affair was through with him, the nba cheerleaders were in maui recovering from the grueling season, so he figured he’d immediately change into his pajamas, turn off the phone, sip rum and watch hbo.

david spade’s “joe dirt” was scheduled to be broadcast.

as the microwave bell tinged that his frozen burrito was warmed, he heard a familiar knock at the back door.

a curvey tanned girl in her early twenties waved at the backdoor cam.

big smiles.

he opened the door, she came in, he didnt hug her she didnt hug him but in minutes they were on the couch

going at it.

just like they should.

pizza boy might not have been blessed with good looks, rich uncles or funky dance moves.

but he had been born with an uncanny memory of city streets and addresses

and an equally creepy way around a young woman’s body.

creepy good.

she didnt seem to mind that he was in his red flannel pajamas, that the ball game was on the tv, that porn was streaming on the computer, or that he didnt offer her any of the steaming hot chicken nuggets.

she didnt even notice the thirteen tiny sauce bowls on the coffee table with variety of dipping choices.

there was hot mustard, bleu cheese, ranch, salsa, hot sauce, bbq sauce, mc donalds sweet and sour, hunt’s catsup, soy sauce, zancau garlic paste, honey, lemon pepper, hummus, and what nugget isnt tastier than with a dab of ecstacy.

which our writhing guest was obviously in the throws of.


hot fudge was ready.

now this was a girl who hated body hair in the same way pizza boys hated rodents.

she had beautifully long hair hair, perfectly plucked eyebrow hair and three curls that our hero was up to his eyebrows in.

thanks to the internet, pizza boy had every great song ever recorded ever

stored in his sixty gigabyte hardrive which was connected to his only real extravagance, a two hundred watt mcintosh thx dolby home theatre whose speaker wires crept through all the walls of the small apartment including the far south wall where a pair of descretely placed infinity speakers hung beside the futon mattress of his hollywood crash pad.

she backed away and started doing things to him that will never be shown on national television

and he wondered why

he looked outside, it was the first night of summer, and he thought about all the things that he’d seen on national tv like death, lies, wars, tragedies, and wondered if he would ever see a young man and a young woman seriously get it on to a point where clothes were ripped off and clothes were pushed aside, and sounds were made, unmistakeable sounds, and both people were beautiful and said beautiful things to each other

and then


hard and fast.

pizza boy knew he was the luckiest man in the world. he’d just gone to an astrologer who said that there was a good luck convention going on in his house. the astrologer said go to vegas, play every game there, play the lottery, smile at every hot babe you see and watch them All smile back.

and again the microwave tinged.

the girl returned with a second dish of hot fudge.

being that pizza boy was handcuffed

and gagged, he had a pretty good idea about what was going to happen next.

but as always, he was wrong

for, hark, what’s this?

is that a knock at his front door?

only the mail man knocks at that door and it was now nearly midnight.

the girl gave the steaming fudge another stir and hopped up and skipped to the door, a blur of white cotton panties, little tennis socks with the fuzzy ball above the heel,


she came back holding the hand of her miniskirted

highheeled best friend

who’d always wanted to meet the world greatest

pizza boy,

who couldnt take his eyes

off of her glittered

black leathered


until her twin sister slammed the door, stormed through the apartment

clomping over the hardwood

with her cowgirl boots,

crashed past the two x’ing girls,

and ripped off his whippedcream covered

strawberry stained leather gag.

43. ultrablognetic