my problem is i want to be free


whatever blood is coursing through my veins from my ancestors

who for hundreds and hundreds of years in this country were slaves

has been yelling at me since i was a kid to be free

and for the last two months that has mean free from this blog too

20 years has been a lot

this year has been a lot

breaking up with amber was a lot

we were joined at the hip for years

and ive been not thriving for years neither, if we are to be honest with each other

ive done a lot of work but what came of it?

i still got one guy who thinks he doesnt ever need to pay me for making miracles for him

i will be paid

and i will thrive

those things will come, have no fear

but ive noticed one thing – when its about me, it gets very uncomfortable

the thing that i love right now, more than i ever expected, is this podcast

this week i did an interview that might end up being the best one

meanwhile tomorrow i need to edit a really long one i did a few weeks ago that jordan

for the first time ever

asked me for help on.

Tonight was unseasonably warm

80s in the day and mid 70s at night

so i walked around at night listening to it and it too is fantastic

and for once i said some things im proud of

i am exhausted, i need this thanksgiving break, im not sure if imma get it because i am working until the end of the year with a non profit that is world wide

so im not sure if they get the holidays off.

but even if they dont imma get a bunch of podcasting done because

its good for the people.

and im bringing it to them

and im excited because without me and jordan

these stories of good people

wouldnt be out in the world

and thats a whole lot better feeling than

whatever the opposite of free is,