this month ive lived in this apartment for 20 years


do you know what has happened in here?

the things ive written, the dreams ive had, the dreams that have come true?

the girls i kissed, the girls i stopped kissing? the girls i wished id kissed?

do you know how much tv ive watched here? how much internet ive browsed? what terrible foods ive ingested?

all the kidney stones ive passed?

LAist pretty much skyrocketed out of here. not to mention this very blog.

people ask, when ya gonna move?

and im all, don’t you see, this is a magical place?

the lady who rented me this place lived in this building for 40 years.

am i gonna break her record? probably not.

i want a garage for an electric car. i want a hot tub and a pool.

i want to throw my money into a pit.

i want a dishwasher.

i want recessed lighting.

i want what i have not got.

but what i want you to know, apartment, is i love you.

i love Geena Davis, that old lady who was in her 80s when she rented me this place despite my lack of money, good credit, or even a job.

i have not been late ever on my rent.

i want to thank mr ken layne (pictured) for moving at just the right time and telling me about this place.

and i wanna thank Shira for originally finding this place and giving it to ken when she moved out.

the santa barbara mafia has had this place since the ’90s.

and it sorta looks like it.

had two great lunches today

the first was with henry fuhrmann, who was copy chief when i was at the times, managing editor, defender of the faith, role model, card shark, and man who i’d go to for guidance about fun things like

how many puns can i get away with on this story about anthony wiener?

i think we had a nice lunch like 6 years ago and so we were overdue. spent two hours talking about journalism, the people from the past, those in the present, and what he thought my future held.

meanwhile i tried to encourage him to spread these tales among the youth of america and he was all LOL who wants to hear that

but everyone should.

then drove clear across town to check out my bro’s new pad in santa monica. dude has five tvs in his one bedroom apartment and this Nest spycam doorbell thing that i always thought was $200 and like $20 a month but he says nope its a one time purchase for $150 and then its free storage for a month.

suddenly i want it very badly.

we ate at this chinese joint i like to go to when im over by there. california wok on wilshire. when i win the lottery theres a few things im gonna do. im gonna send my mechanic on vacation because this dude told me he hasnt had a vacation in 15 years because its a family business and theres not a lot of markup on anything (which is sorta why i was there) and his pops needs him there and no one else can fill in for him so there you have it no vacation. so i figure $20k should cover closing the shop and paying for the vacations of the 4 mechanics?

but the other thing i wanna do is buy california wok and turn it into a fun place. currently its stuffy, quiet, sorta unloved. there needs to be a piano player in there, maybe a comedian on the weekends. maybe dancing at midnight. oh i have ideas.

got home and watched the cubs lose and did everything except what i was supposed to do which was finish my proposal for this thing that even henry liked. and send my resume to the one headhunter in the entire galaxy who said she would find me work.

whats wrong with me?

is it the heat? the planets? do i not want help? why do i think i have to do everything alone? nothing good ive ever done was done alone. the magic was working with and being inspired by Others.

mick’s solo records and keefe’s are awful. but the Stones… now thats something.

teamwork makes the dream work busblog so give that lady your glorious past and buy a new suit.

july goes out like a silly pout and august coming in like a lion