from who i was born to, to where, at what time,

who id meet, how i got out of the hood, who deviginized me in that back seat in ventura

every last drop of it

for the last week ive been sweating my car bc the engine light went on and the garage i had just had it in kept wanting me to come in at 8am

but i dont get up till noon, even for the benz

so i just went to a closer one, of these armenian hippies

sweetest guys, will talk music all night with you

got in there today and there was a kid playing his switch

i think its the aunt behind the desk

sleepy dog sleeping on the couch

and before i could get a nice chat going with the aunt

owner tosses me the keys and says

error code says there was a misfire, but it’s not

and i catch the keys, no charge, alls well

free.

from omg whats wrong NOW with this car to

go out into that wide world and pick up strangers in the dead of night and traverse the second largest city in the usa, for your car is good, but you stink, go home and take a shower.

and then i got home and my favorite internet personality was on

and the rest of my day went to hell when the emmys came on

this week’s episode is going to be either late, or drastically chopped in half.

ahhhh, the old “he can’t be good, he’s obviously just lucky” excuse.

interesting that all the kings horses and all the kings men

with all their slide rules and hired guns and prognosticators and studies

still can’t produce better results than me

still

it reminds me of the Chi Chi Rodriguez line.

Old Chi Chi was playing golf and he hit a hole in one.

as he was walking to retrieve his ball, a member from the press ran onto the green to walk with him.

“Chi Chi, how did you do it?”

“Do what?”

“You hit a hole-in-one, do you know how rare that is?”

“Well I was aiming at it, wasn’t I?”

“Yes, but would you consider what you just did… luck?”

“Amigo, I have noticed the more I practice, the luckier I get.”

I’m 51 and 7/8ths.

I’ve been practicing as long as some of my critics have been alive.