sometimes i feel like im a phony, a loser, a lout

a faker, a fraud, an embarrassment to the hood i came up from.

a tool, a mark, a bum

a disgrace.

but then i turn on the tv and i see all of these very wealthy men and women

in expensive suits and shoes.

who all went to the fanciest schools who hobnobbed with the richest and famous in the land.

and the mic is turned on and the cameras start rolling

and they open their mouths



i feel like im not so bad after all.

in fact i feel good.

i mean i feel bad that they are the ones with so much power

and also, theyre full of crud.

but i feel good because i was raised right. i dont believe i have to lie to be loved.

i dont have to twist the facts or threaten people or sell out our country for personal gain.

i feel like i have a thin shot at Heaven, especially compared to


and this is why i watch tv every day.

and read the paper.

and get my hair cut correct like Anthony Mason.

because i am better than these sad sad sacks

flapping their gums

all for a few more worthless bucks.

which disappear