Tag Archives: nexus

you dirty little

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when i was in college i was overly blessed. i was on the radio every week, wrote in the paper every day, i got to read and write around all these  smart kids in the college of creative studies where you were rewarded for being creative instead of punished.

and i worked all these crazy jobs.

the best was being an editor at the daily nexus. to my great lucky they let me write for all the desks including being allowed to write numerous opinion columns.

back then on campus everyone read the paper. not only were we award winning but it was very funny and in the opinion pages no topic was taboo.

apparently one of them made their way to the real paper, the santa barbara news press and when they were looking for someone to write a column in their “Student Voice” deal, i got a phone call (there was no email back then).

they were gonna pay me $50 to write a column, but it had to be specific to the campus. that was easy, our campus government approved an expensive recreation center that they barely vetted. in hindsight we were right, but that thing is pretty damn cool.

the problem was, i didnt like the news press. mostly because they didnt hire any of us after we graduated. they had one guy and that was it. meanwhile we were extremely good, winning state, beating all the big schools usc, ucla, berkeley, the daily nexus should have been a pipeline to that paper.

so after i turned in my piece i got a phone call, they wanted to know a few things about me for the front page. anything look odd?

honor roll? me? excuse me as i die laughing.

also, it showed how little the news press knew about ucsb, creative studies doesnt have grades, how would i have a 3.9 gpa?

also, isnt that something you should be fact checking, particularly on something youre putting on your front page, in color (which was expensive back then)?

regardless it was dickish, i shouldta done it. not that anyone would have noticed. but it fed into my belief that that paper needed more nexus ppl over there

because where do you think i learned

fact check every damn thing

yesterday i did my community service by going to UCSB to preach the word

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14469549_10154535165408057_1750861422466442429_nwhat good kids they are too.

they asked me to give my short bio. i told them i was an editor there on many desks from 1988-1991.

they looked at me blankly. so i asked, “were any of you even alive in 1991?”

they said NOPE!

so i told them the office looked sorta the same except we had landline telephones ringing, there was a receptionist at the door, someone was on the typewriter making story assignments, there was exactly one printer, there was a paste up area, and of course there was no internet.

other than that, everything was pretty much exactly the same.

i told them that the world is their oyster. to go for it. to cover their backyard. to own their front yard. and to stop letting the cops tell them they cant have live rock n roll in their neighborhood.

i said, “if the red hot chili peppers came to my house in Hollywood and wanted to jam, they could. in fact they could in just about any town in the USA except Isla Vista because. Because why?”

no one knew.

i said, “i dont know why either and every time you ask the supervisors or the cops or the university or the judges you need to ask them, do we not pay enough rent? do we not pay enough tuition? ISLA VISTAN LIVES MATTER!”

they fucking loved it.

then i told them they need to prepare for when shit goes down. like the Earthquake. i said giant waves might wipe out DP. if not they may wipe out the dorms. And for sure the Lagoon. which means the Office might be fucked too. Be ready. Have external battery packs ready to go. and your key to Storke Tower, maybe the only place not under water.

then i told them who’s your Weed Editor? they said what old man? I said in 8 weeks weed will probably be legal. who is gonna cover that revolution? more blank faces. So I said, make it an American Idol competition. Do it on your Instagram. Publicize the crap out of it and watch your followers surge.

one by one they hugged me and kissed me right in the mouth.

then i said how many of you use Snapchat?

every single one of them raised their hands. so they tell me, i was still getting kissed by the Sports Dept.

i said great, how come the paper doesnt have a Snapchat?

more blank beautiful young faces. yearning to be set free. i said your audience is just like you. they too love Snapchat. start delivering the news on Snapchat TOO.

they said, what if our reporter is drunk? i said, never heard of Hunter S. Thompson? go for it. but you better be as good as HST was. otherwise, if you reporter is drunk have him hand the phone over to a reporter who can aim that sucker steady.

we talked for two hours and they were happy but i was happier because i gave back to the hood. and it felt good.