how do you solve a problem like sammy

once upon a time baseball needed saving.

it had just gone through a meaningless strike that turned off its fans to the sport

basketball had arrived in full force and football filled in the blanks

if anything the baseball strike reminded some how little they cared about the so called national past time.

but then mark macgwire and sammy sosa started hitting massive dongs nearly every day which reminded some how much they love the long ball.

not just that, but in chicago, sammys prowess at the plate helped catapult a not-too-shabby cubs team into the post season, something they hadn’t done in years.

in the north side sammy was king. every time he stepped to the plate it was appointment television. in total good ole #21 slammed 541 home runs as a Cub, breaking none other than Mr. Cub’s team record of 512 set way back in 1971.

near the end of sammy’s career with the cubs, two things happened: he got caught with a corked bat (which he claimed was his “practice bat” and never meant for a game), and he didn’t show up for his last day at work.

and also he has been accused by many that he used performance enhancing drugs – although that has never been proved, and he has denied it. he never once failed a test nor was ever suspended for it despite having a long career.

some say, well what about the leaked drug report of 2013 where sammy’s name was alongside other greats as having failed a secret drug test?

well the commissioner of baseball is now doubting that report. as he should.

which brings us to the weird state of sammy sosa in the hearts of chicago cub fans.

many don’t like him.

some have turned their back on him.

the man who saved baseball from the greatest park in sport is not welcome in the friendly confines because, in part, he just didn’t want to spend an awkward day saying goodbye to the cubs on his last day of the season before he was due to get traded.

and for some reason some cub fans, typically the most forgiving and lovable souls in the world, were so offended that they have not made him feel welcome enough for a return.

and on top of that, the new owners of the team refuse to welcome him back until he apologizes for that last day.

it is the strangest thing ive ever seen, and i specialize in strange fucking shit.

former cub slugger Dave Kingman went to the Lake instead of Wrigley on Dave Kingman tshirt day, in part because he was one the injured list and didn’t want to deal.

but nobody called Kingman an asswipe when he moved on with his life.

perhaps it was because Cub fans were amazed with Kingman’s ability to hit monster homers, but he usually struck out 8-9 times for every blast. Sammy was a real player. And he was quick on the basepaths, and deft in the outfield. we had fallen in love with him and so it hurt when he didn’t say bye.


well, i still love him.

i am still grateful.

i am glad he saved baseball and i dont care what he didnt do that one time, and what he may have done those other times. im just happy that he brought a light to my favorite place in the world.

sammy doesnt have to say sorry for shit.