tony, why bother having sex?

Juliette and the licksBecky with the good hair asks:

What is the purpose of sex? Be brutally honest and please leave LOVE and procreation out of your answer! I’m talking about the physical act of sex; I’m just going to assume you love every single woman you’ve ever boinked *eye roll* Why bother having sex? Is it a) to get yourself off; b) to get your partner off or c) to get yourself off, thereby getting your partner off? Please don’t tell me what you think sexy babes want to hear or risk ruining any shot you might have boinking them!

every once in a while you’ll meet someone who magically clicks with you

you dont have to think about what to do, you dont have to worry about what youre saying, everything is perfect

its like all of a sudden you know how to swim

or youre fluent in italian

everything she does is bella and for some bizarre reason everything youre doing she loves.

there have been three women in my life where every single time

it was the most wonderful


it didnt matter what our emotions were going into it or where we were or what time of day or night it was

it didnt matter what we were wearing or how much we had to drink

it was the most beautiful movie or book or dance marathon, but deeper.

to me it was the clearest proof of the existence of a soul.

its not something you know is going to happen

or who can deliver it

it’s a blessing.

pure luck.

a unicorn.

it doesnt exist except for every time

and each time feels like a dream.

thats why.

the problem with spam

spamis that i do want a bigger penis.

i would like to lose weight with Phentermine.

i would like to buy direct and save hundreds on your auto warranty!

even though my penis is nice, and i only have about 5 lbs left to lose

and i dont have a car.

the problem with spam is that it offers me things that i never thought i wanted, but there it is in my personal email account, there on my beloved home computer, in the nook of my home, and it wants me to click for more information.

and then they lie to me because their products dont work.

my penis isnt really going to get any bigger.

im not going to save hundreds on my auto warranty!

i clicked an email offer that promised that i could “watch fools in real street fights” and the email was empty.

what a tease.

i want to watch fools in real street fights .

i like the spam that addresses me personally. even though i get a lot of real emails from real people about real thing, i like the spam that says, “Tony, Earn a Paralegal Degree Today!”

Spam, thank you, i think i could use a paralegal degree TODAY!

unfortunately i think i confuse the bots that collect my email addresses because on my website i oftentimes encourage people to write to me on various email accounts. ones that are specific to the topic at hand.

for example i have a link on this blog that allows you to email me at, that way i know that people are using that link.

when people paypal my ass they use, my kazaa address is (maybe i should change that one.)

this creates spam that sometimes says things like “Paypal, Start Saving on Healthcare for You and Your Family” or “blog, Small Blue Pill, BIG Savings!”

what i dont understand, though, is spam that is emailed to that says “Tony Pierce, how would you like to have”

unlike most people i dont get upset at spam because i read all my mail online now, which i highly recommend because it prevents most email-borne viruses. most.

currently im using SBC/Yahoo as my email client since they provide my internet access.

this week they have decided to put all my proper mail and send it to my Junk mail folder.

meanwhile all the Junk mail that i have “reported” to them as being junk still finds its way easilly into my Inbox.

because its friday and because i actually scan through all my folders i have found some of the mail that was incorrectly redirected and recovered it.

but if i havent replied to your email by this Monday please dont have your feelings hurt, it was eaten by the evil. just resend it.

if you want you can send it to

orby online + brent devries + totally awesome