this is how weird i am

im a sucker for deals. like the biggest sucker. in the world. ever.

like my hero kurdt cobain, i have a very delicate stomach. when i was in college i weighed like 112 pounds. id go to the dining commons and get a bowl of jello and a few pieces of bread with butter. maybe a scoop of ice cream afterwards but id get “full” really fast because if i ate any thing more than a little something my stomach would rage at me like WTF tony!

even though my waistline has expanded greatly over time, it’s rare that i will finish my plate. the other night chris and i went to the pacific dining car because they were selling steaks for $1. of course the sides were $13 each and he ordered a martini that set him back $16. but we got out of there for $50 before tip. anyway, as good as the steak was, i still have half of it in the fridge. stomach hates red meat.

stomach also isn’t crazy about pizza. but im from chicago. and even though LA pizza can’t even compare to chicago pies, im a sucker for deals and pizza hut emailed me this special offer for a large 2 topping for $5.99. but you have to pick it up. no problem.

amber’s bus stops near the closest pizza hut to us so i said yo i’ll meet you in the parking lot in a half hour. im getting us a pizza. it’s warm right now. 75 or so. so before i drove there, i went to a local mini market and got a mexicoke for me and a sparkling water for her. then i grabbed a blanket and after we got the pizza i drove up the little hill to a little park and we had an impromptu picnic.

which she loved.

but here i am now at 1:27am with the worst stomach ache because duh. stomach hates pizza.

but that pizza was basically free!

sometimes you should just give up on your dreams

you should just let those who have given up on theirs convince you that what youve always wanted is dumb

and that good things happen to everyone but you.

and that you dont deserve what you want now, but maybe next year or the year after that

or the year after that.

because of course tomorrow is guaranteed, and next year, and the year after

all these people died today, and all of them thought they were going to make it to tomorrow

and next year, and the year after that.

we just all have infinity years for our prince to come.

infinity years to get serious about climate change and health care and helping the poor.

our dreams can wait while we let the mediocre and terrified plot our futures.

who we are shouldn’t be expanded. nope. it should be stifled and reformed to fit into tidy boxes.

rock n roll should die.

best thing that happened today was the san francisco giants

who do not have a good team

won in the bottom of the 18th inning on a fuckup by the opposing catcher.

who was probs exhausted.

on friday nights they light fireworks after the game.

and there it was at 1:11 am and they said fuckit who cares if the neighbors are sleeping

boom boom boom fireworks into the bay. boom.

and the people of the twitter raised their fists at the moon

but giants don’t care.