i went away for 5 days and when i did i took two books. one was a bukowski book.

number of books i even opened: 0

maybe i should just sell all my books because seriously, who am i kidding?

i am feeling good today. for two reasons. i made some shrimp and scallops, rice, and very large broccoli

i may have undercooked the seafood and thats why im feeling buzzed and light headed.

if i die know that i loved every girl ive ever kissed and i felt lucky every time.

found a pic of an old gf the other day, standing nude in the rain.

how have i been blessed this much? me? was i really that funny? is that all it takes?

i ask these questions now because i have no prospects for any love in the future and that might be fine because i dont have any job prospects either.

will i die poor and heartbroken?

bukowski didnt and i feel i have as much to bring to the table as that guy.

for starters im not an alkie. not that theres anything wrong with that, but im not gonna get into fights and blow a ton of cash on $17 beers at the Rams games

but will i write a novel like Post Office?

probs not either.

so maybe i will die heartbroken

and poor.

fine.