53 days ago i submitted an invoice

in fairness it was a second invoice.

the first one was 71 days ago.

when you write an invoice on December 1 you think, ah what nice Christmas gifts I’ll be able to buy my family with that money.

a few weeks later I wrote a different invoice for 19 days of December and submitted that one as well.

that was 53 days ago.

neither have turned into monies.

2021 was not a great year for me financially and those two invoices were the 2nd and 3rd that have not been paid as of yet.

in total i am owed over $10,000 for work in 2021. hard to believe.

of the replies I have received when i inquired about remittance:

fuck you tony


you’re an asshole.

being raised in a community as a young man where i was the only Black kid in many situations, trust me when i tell you, name calling does not affect me.

i know who i am.

but those who i owe do not want to hear sob stories or “they called me an asshole and said it’s coming, what can i do?”

after 53 days is it really coming?

is it in one of those ships off long beach, polluting the air, waiting for a truck to get it at the dock and deliver it to my home.

the one i pay rent on.

who has a landlord who will say, “oh you’ll tell me when it comes? thank heavens.”

in the college of creative studies when they were teaching us how to write fiction they said, “when you write interesting characters think about their motivations. think about whats going in their heads. why do they say the things they do, why do they not say things.”

what could go through someone’s head when they know its been 53 days since the Second invoice?

and why aren’t they saying, “i’m sorry, tony. you’re not an asshole for asking. i am an asshole for not making this happen in a timely, professional way”?