who was so loving, and lovable, and sweet

and i swear to you i tried

but i fucked it all up

even when it was over and she reached out

i didnt know what to do

and i am so sorry. i wish you could know how sorry i am.

i think about her more now than ever

but what good is that?

how could i have been different? what could i have done?

are some problems unfixable?

no i dont think so. i think there are always solutions. always.

she was right here for years. right here every night.

im trying to think, other than a few rare exceptions we were right next to each other every night.

why couldnt i fix it

i was nervous that if we ever broke up she wouldnt be able to pull it off

she was soooooo good at work, i said to myself, of course she can

or she will meet some handsome rich guy and that’ll do it

but no

no

no