hi tony

hi morrissey.

say hi to chloe the turkey.

hi, food.

hmmm. whats up, mate, i hear youre down in the dumps.

nope, not me.

shouldnt be, TGIF, right old man?

yep, TGIF morrissey

well i dont know what crawled up your bum but you are being talked about and honored everywhere on the internet.

big whoop.

but it’s approval, son, approval! people are telling you that they love you and they want to be like you and they love what you do.

all i do is help the deaf and the hearing impared, it’s not as glamorous as they think.

well far be it for me to tell anyone to come on and get happy, but i think you should appreciate this while you have it. this doesnt happen to everyone and it is sort of disrespectful when you toss it into the dustbin like it aint no thing.

it aint no thing, morrissey, you know that.

no, i certainly do not know that. what i do i do for the people. i do it to make them happy. i do it–

you sing sad songs, completely depressing sad songs to make them happy?

yes, yes i do.

i dont believe you.

i dont care if you believe me, i dont believe you. hows that? i dont believe that youre living a dream and you are chosing to find displeasure in it. i dont believe that tony pierce, king of the optimists would take a vacation from happiness for no apparent reason what so ever right when everything is coming up roses.

nothing is coming up roses, you limey wank. a few nice people link me on their page. thats very nice. and they should. the web is full of pages and they found mine and they like what i wrote, swell. where are the millionaires with their bags of cash? where are the job offers? where are the bras being thrown at me. talk about someone who doesnt appreciate what they get, mr. bigmouth–

dont go there.

give me your turkey and i will be happy.


yes. let me take your turkey home to be my thanksgiving dinner and i will be happy.

but this is the PETA turkey.


you have really lost your mind.

lost it years ago, hand over the bird.


then f you, morrissey. you never sang in tune anyway.

you bastard!

you call that a punch? omg that was the silliest thing ive ever seen. it felt like you were removing a shred of lint from my brow. do that again. holy shit, morrisey who taught you to fight, mother teresa?

fine, tony pierce, you have humilated me enough. if eating this proud bird will make you happy then here. have her. ENJOY YOUR THANKSGIVING!

thank you morrissey. not only will this turkey bring a smile to my face but she will bring nurishment to my body, and many sandwiches for weeks to follow.

hurry up and get out of here before bob barker sees you.

will do, later bro.


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