me and chris went to vegas this weekend.

normally im not one to leave my house over the weekend for anything, even a trip to my second favorite city, but when my true love asks i answer.

some people get a little confused about this relationship that my ex and i have and i can understand, so let me clear some things up.

yes i love her like no other, but that doesnt mean that im not capable of loving others. in fact that idea couldn’t be further from the truth.

but we get along so well that it’s very hard for me not to propose to her about every 10 minutes. there’s no one i feel more comfortable with. there’s no one who i laugh more with. there’s no one ive spent more time with in my life.

but one way that ive realized that you can judge friendships is: how fast after a fight can you make up? chris and i can fight at 9:05pm and make up at 9:06pm and be laughing before the tears dry. it’s pretty amazing.

i can push every single one of her buttons, and discover new buttons and whale on those for awhile and not only does she take it but she runs with it, we both do. we can talk about the most sensitive issues and dig deep into them analyzing our biggest fears and saddest moments and most embarrassing actions and we’ll just hold hands never judging working everything out and all it does is make our friendship stronger.

she has never called me when i haven’t picked up the phone.

so we went to vegas, she had a wedding to go to. she told me that if i drove out there with her that i wouldn’t have to go to the wedding. she knows im not a big fan of weddings.

early saturday morning we drove out in her brand new used car which was luxurious and spacious.

i had burned a van halen greatest hits cd, as well as cds from the new foo fighters and zwan.

we trudged through the foos and enjoyed zwan, but oddly the van halen sounded so damn good it was a little bit sad, i also mixed in a few david lee roth solo tunes that are still holding up quite nicely despite being close to 20 years old.

we checked into new york new york which i had never stayed at before. really nice rooms, well decorated, clean, good bathroom, really nice towels of all things, great view of the statue of liberty.

eventually we made it down to the gambling floor where chris immediately beat up on the nickle slots. nickle slots have come a long way and theres something about chris and her family– they friggin own the nickle machines and can turn nickles into folding bills in a matter of minutes. its really something to see.

this weekend’s victim was a slot called The Price Is Right.

me, i didnt have any luck with the slots, nickles, quarters or dollar ones, so i went across the bridge to the Excalibur to find my old pal the Odysee black jack machine.

apparently it was happy to see me too and quickly shook me down for all of my money, all except for $10 that i chose to put on the Nets at they took on the Pistons. i couldnt figure out why the Pistons were favored by 8 points until seconds after i placed my $10 wager and remembered that Jason Kidd was injured. still, could the Pistons cover the spread and win?

yes, by 15.

i have never ever ever won at gambling on sports in sin city. it’s so pathetic.

after the wedding chris and i walked down to Paris and gorged on the buffet. crab legs, shrimp, lamb, veal. walked out of there and met up with her friends miraculously and it hurt to cross the street to beliago where chris took their nickel slots for a quick $28.

quick way to tell that you are at the belliago and no other casino? the women dress a whole lot better, they travel in pairs, and theyre looking for filthy rich dudes, desperately, and theres a lot of plastic surgery going on. still, i like that place even if the cocktail waitresses wont flow us with the ameretto sours cuz we’re camped out in front of the 5 cent price is right machines.

whatever, ho, at least i dont have to show my boobs to earn a living.

truth is, its cheaper to just buy your drinks in vegas cuz it takes them forever to get you your “free” drinks and you wind up losing way more than you’d ever spend on a drink.

chris and i stumbled back to the room, me down tens of millions, her up about two billion. i got naked slid into bed just in time to see the last few minutes of Your Big Break, she re-applied her blush and went downstairs for another raid of NY NYs vault.

when we checked out in the morn i noticed one thing that didnt sit very well with me at new york new york: they were selling a lot of NYPD/FDNY tshirts, hats, etc and i looked hard but couldnt find anywhere that said that said that the money was going to the victims of 9/11 which made me wonder if nyny wasnt sorta taking advantage of the sudden popularity in those tshirts.

if so its tacky as hell, bros. get it together.

we drove out of town and made one last stop at Bufallo Bill’s at the state line and chris put a buck in a nickle machine and out came $7 just like that so we ate the lunch buffett called Miss Ashley’s and called it a weekend.

i love chris so much and i really love Las Vegas.

Sin City, i will be seeing you again super soon!

another fine mess

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