last night my true love took me

to pf changs where she liquored me up and then straight to the strip club where we sat in the back talking about girls and then she bought me a lap dance.

the stripper was a really tall romanian girl whos fake name was roxie, short for roxanne.

she asked if my girl would like to join us in the champagne room and i said yes, that i think she would.

so all three of us went back there.

i was nervous because i had heard that lap dances had been banned from la county, so i wasnt sure what was going to happen back there.

roxie asked if my girl wanted to hold my hand while she “danced” for me and i had to tell her that she wasnt my girl, she was my exgirl

after the dance roxie asked how do you do it

i said first some little kisses behind the neck…

she said no, laughed, and then nodded over at my true love who was digging into her cigarette case full of twenties.

i said, i dont know, roxie.

the whole time she was playing with my fro and she said just keep on doing what youre doing then.

just one of the very nice unexpected morsels of niceness that i received yesterday. and im so thankful, so if you will indulge me, i would like to thank some people right now before i go to the beach.

thanks so much to rene for the delicious meal, rum, coke, beer, beer, table dance, table dance, lap dance, lap dance, lap dance, beer, beer, and body shot.

and thanks for then letting us go to the strip club.

just kidding.

thanks to all my friends on the internet who linked to me yesterday and said nice things. especially splink who hardly ever links anyone, tracy who posted some classic pics from my favorite chapbook, greg who put up a picture of me looking like a total dork, sepi who complimented my archives, and kate who posted my favorite part of the wedding service sermon thing too.

romance is everything, rock writer.

thanks to all the people who called me and left messages and sent emails, especially nicolette who i havent seen in a long time and seana fitt who i havent seen in a really long time. both lovely surprises.

also super cool were the emails i got from ashley and chris c who each spent a lot of time in photoshop for my unworthy ass.

i would like to thank david r. who wrote me to wish me a happy birthday and asked what my paypal email address was he could flow to the busblog since paypal wasnt working right then through the link, and i told him that my paypal email address is

speaking of which, thanks to jason r. for his donation to the car fund

and to my mom for hers!

74. jason r.

75. mom

my mom also sent a nice big box of bittersweet newspapers from the cubs’ stretch run and playoffs, a great cubs W shirt, and a W car flag, and a fluffy cubs blanket, and a 1908 cubs hat like one i had when i was a kid.

also much thanks has to go to the good people of Blogger who sent me a blue blogger hoodie which coincidentally arrived yesterday. coincidence because any blogger who was paying for Blogger Pro got a hoodie if they filled out the form last month.

either way, kimbalina from blogger sent me nice wishes through the aim chat yesterday, and it is always nice when someone from the home office says hi, and eternal thanks goes to her and the company that she works for because probably none of you would be reading this without them. that number again: none.

ok, maybe eight.

thank you to elliot smith for putting a knife into his heart about a mile away from here, killing himself, thus taking some of the spotlight away from the anniversary of my birth. i have a bizarre relationship with public attention, so i thank you for diverting some of it away with that knife

into your heart.

thanks to fred “rerun” berry for also dying yesterday and not taking more attention away from my special day, but sharing in the glow. whats happening was one of my favorite tv shows growing up. there werent that many black shows out back then, and the ones they had were all really great. sanford & son, good times, fat albert, flip wilson, the jeffersons, whats happening, and later the cosby show were huge triumphs in breaking down ideas as to what blacks could do on tv and whether it would interest white america.

rerun epitomized the soul of a group of young black kids in the show filled with great characters.

sorry the last thing you ever did on tv was star dates.

so today, right now, im charging my camera batteries cuz im taking my rentacar to venice beach to take some pictures for you, cuz when im not making beautiful love with girls way out of my league, my favorite thing to do is take pictures and show them to you on this blog.

thanks for always being there.

your pal,


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