crazy thing is, most of this is verbatim

hottie23: My lazy Scandinavian ass just woke up.

luckiestmanalive: what time did your sweet ass go to sleep?

hottie23: I stayed up making out with a german guy who was like… 6’5.

hottie23: um. 8 this morning.

luckiestmanalive: nice

luckiestmanalive: was it fun?

hottie23: Have you ever had someone whipsper that you’re their dirty fantasy in a German accent?

luckiestmanalive: nine

hottie23: it was fucking great

luckiestmanalive: did he have a big

luckiestmanalive: tounge?

hottie23: yes

luckiestmanalive: was it no nonesense and rigid?

hottie23: no, there was plenty of nonsense

luckiestmanalive: do you know i love you?

hottie23: yes I love you too

hottie23: I almost had sex with him.

hottie23: but

hottie23: I didn’t.

luckiestmanalive: you dont have to save yourself for me any more. i�ll never get out there.

hottie23: I know I know. That guy would have hurt me, though.

hottie23: he was scary.

luckiestmanalive: ouch

luckiestmanalive: i thought you liked it rough

hottie23: I do like it rough.

hottie23: I love it.

hottie23: when he pushed me around I was losing it.

hottie23: but his dick was way too big for me to have slept with him.

luckiestmanalive: no wonder youve never been with a black guy

hottie23: haha

hottie23: I couldn’t even get my hand around the damn thing.

hottie23: seriously.

hottie23: it was very fucked up.

luckiestmanalive: this girl i know was hot for a guy like that, and he said, just breathe right.

luckiestmanalive: and it worked.

hottie23: it would have been like fucking a mag light or something

luckiestmanalive: did he cry when you said no?

luckiestmanalive: i would have.

hottie23: I didn’t say no.

hottie23: I just restrained myself

luckiestmanalive: did you help the poor guy out at all?

hottie23: I helped him out

hottie23: and then� oops

luckiestmanalive: can you blame him?

hottie23: nope

hottie23: !

luckiestmanalive: what were you wearing?

hottie23: a plaid skirt

hottie23: and red tights

hottie23: a red zip up hooded cotton sweater

hottie23: and boots

luckiestmanalive: ooops

hottie23: hey, nadia is here i’ll be right back

hottie23: i have to go let her in

luckiestmanalive: hey if i change your name, can i put this on my blog?

hottie23: of course

hottie23: i love you tony pierce

hottie23: brb

luckiestmanalive: i love you super hot plaid skirt wearing sexy girl

luckiestmanalive: next time take pics of that outfit

luckiestmanalive: for your pal tone.

hottie23: i’ve got some

luckiestmanalive: um

hottie23: i’ll upload them later

hottie23: ooooo

luckiestmanalive: i heart you so

hottie23: i heart you too so

jarvis’s post & troubling comments re: Reagans + frankenstein + of course i will be on virginia’s radio show

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