napoleon dynamite

directed by Jared Hess

starring Jon Heder, Jon Gries, Haylie Duff, and Efren Ramirez as Pedro

we were supposed to see Coffee and Cigarettes at the lemelle sunset but they were having this eating contest so we shared a plate of funnelcakes and watched the gorge fest.

apparently we had inadvertently crossed paths with the LA Film Fest. whatever. just living here is a gdamn film fest.

but a live eating contest, well thats entertainment.

the guy’s name was crazylegs and he had rounded up 5 people who were really good at eating certain things fast.

a hot dog eating guy

a guy who could eat a lot of boiled eggs

a spaghetti eating little kid

a guy who can eat a lot of pie

and a guy who could eat a lot of reese’s pieces

crazylegs beat the first guy pretty easily.

then he kicked the boiled eggs guy in the ass.

but then this little nine year old bobby brady lookin kid used his whole hand like a shovel and didnt mind getting dirty and destroyed the blonde dreadlocks bespeckled white dude named crazylegs.

people were shouting and cheering and this was a normal looking kid. a boy who just smiled in astonishment. everyone was staring and cheering and i was waiting for him to double over in pain but no, that amount of pasta hadnt affected the lad in the slightest, except for the slight staining around his mouth due to the sauce, nothing more than what a good paper towel and some mother’s spit couldnt remedy.

in the minute he ate probably five plates full of spaghetti and crazylegs, a grown man, who, youre right, did just eat about twenty hot dogs and thirty boiled eggs, but he is after all a professional.

after all that excitement we went up to the ticketbooth and saw that Napoleon Dynamite was playing.

The ads made it look stupid but what the hell, we had already received some free entertainment, the movie only had to be a little bit good and we could call it even.

Weird thing is, Napoleon Dynamite is actually a pretty good film. It’s outrageous, over-the-top, and very funny. and somehow, bizarrilly realistic.

Don’t miss the opening credits featuring a white stripes song.

three esthers.

dc pierson + treacher + i cant wait to vote

Leave a Reply