my mom worries that the government spies in on our phone calls

i teller that there are benefits for the illegal wiretapping and she refuses to see things the way of a real optimist. today reddit linked to this story that will hopefully make her see the light, and turn lemons into lemonade

or in this case Potatoes.

An old man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his potato garden but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His only son Fred, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.

Dear Fred,
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my potato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over I know you would dig the plot for me.
Love,
Dad

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

Dear Dad,
For heaven’s sake, don’t dig up that garden! That’s where I buried the BODIES!
Love,
Fred

At 4am the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Dad,
Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love,
Fred

yr tax dollars at work

the problem with individual photographs

is that they dont tell the whole tale

for example this man above might seem like a bitter tourist whose wallet was stolen in the subway, whose date has left never to return, and whose mouth seems filled with chicken wings.

the truth however is his wallet was stolen on the way to the subway, his date left in a disgusted huff and texted Raymi with the filth that she was subjected to. but once she was told “tony was just kidding” she replied with “wait, tony PIERCE”? and returned with a big smile; an attitude adjustment that was far more reasonable for canada. and those are nachos hes grubbin on.

but then duane got herpes

but then general pitt had to explain (coatless in the cold, mind you) that it wasnt Real herpes

then the karaoke went down. one of the best was Michael Jihad – as the dj suggested

the politically correct college gals booed the host and his jokes but drank up anyway

the asian cop from halloween (who sang w/ the gorgeous twins) did a classic U2 number

raymi and duane patiently waited their turns as me and my cam got drunk

then pitt did a duet with one of the middle eastern ladies

a pogues holiday classic

when duane hit the stage people started heading towards the exits

so pitt jumped on stage to add a little air guitar color

the dj still wasnt impressed

when raymi was finally allowed to sing, all the girlies got up to snap their pics

the tourist was as impressed as anyone

tonight dinosaurs!

after church.

some of the above pix by px who has more here